Long term anxiety people, how you doing?

[Plussizejumpsuit]

Just that really. I've had anxiety and depression on and off for a long time. Diagnosed in 2012. Started citalopram in 2013. Overall I'm way better with it than without it. But it doesn't fix me iyswim. Low mood and feeling anxious I always there unfortunately

So with lockdown, pandemic, brexit, us elections, some family stuff, constant imposter syndrome and a new job coming up my anxiety is peaking right now.

I feel like I'm hopefully not the only one. So just thought I'd see if anyone else was finding it hard. How are you coping?

A lot of my anxiety is around not being good enough or working hard enough. So I find it difficult to just surrender to it and give myself a break. Anyone else?

💐 Minute by minute, if that’s what it takes to get through the day. You’re not on your own.

Citalopram changed my life. After years of reluctance to try chemical therapy! Also I write lists with small achievements on it most days and it helps to keep me foucesd and feeling like I'm 'winning' e g 'take bins out. Iron for 30 mins' when I tick it off I gain momentum to carry on. I've stopped daytime napping. I initially thought it was good for me but actually I lost motivation. So even if tired I stick to similar bedtime and set an alarm to get up at 7am. This helps keep my mental health good so that anxiety doesn't kick in. It's working so far. I also get out of myself and make sure I do meet my mum/a friend at least once a week whilst little ones are at school even of I feel like being alone. It gets me out of my own head. It's the small things that help.

Ps your last paragraph sounds like you're a perfectionist like I was. Drop your standards!

@Savourysenorita

Ps your last paragraph sounds like you're a perfectionist like I was. Drop your standards!

Yep! But then what I actually think is my standards aren't high enough. I'm not working hard enough. So actually I need to work harder and have higher standards! Writing this out I know that's a bad way of thinking. And is probably a sign I'm not doing too great.

You're probably comparing yourself to other people (I used to also) but a lot of people are for show. 'oh yes I cool fresh meals from scratch everyday' etc. They're saving face. You'll probably find the same Co op lasagne ready meal packets in their bin as you would mine at least once a week. A lot of what people say and show of their life is keeping up appearances. Just remember that and stop critiquing yourself so harshly. It feels good once you relax and stop trying to be perfect. Trust me

I’ve been on citalopram for anxiety and depression for a similar amount of time to you. All the things that you’ve identified are things that have peaked my anxiety as well.

I was promoted at the start of the year and work has been crazy busy for the last two years. I had to take 2 weeks off work in July due to being overwhelmed with work and homeschooling. And was prescribed for the 1st time beta blockers to take ad hoc to alleviate the feelings of panic I was having.

I’ve never had to have time off work or ever had to tell my line manager about my diagnosis - so 2020 has really thrown me!

Things that help....the usual thing. Exercise, trying not to fall down the slippery slope of eating and drinking too much, writing down my thoughts in a notebook, talking to a friend, breaking things down into manageable steps. For work, speaking to your line manager if you want feedback. Maybe employing some CBT type practices when you doubt your abilities and your internal voice is on a negative loop about how rubbish you are (i.e. Is this true? What evidence is there? What would you say to someone else in the same circumstances?)

Also having had ups and downs previously helps. thinking ‘I’ve felt bad beforehand couldn’t see the wood for the trees, but then life improved and I felt ok again’. I guess the equivalent of this too shall pass....but remembering how bad I’ve felt before and knowing it still got better, even when it didn’t feel like it would. Sometimes it’s just sitting with the feelings, however uncomfortable, and letting them pass.

My anxiety and issues were caused by the death of my DD, I have never given a shiny shite about what anyone thinks of me. I positively enjoyed being myself all my life till then and had a confidence and fullness to my life that was enviable.

Lockdown has been mixed for me. I had every symptom of covid and was very unwell the first two weeks of lockdown and it took me about three months to regain any strength. My anxiety was through the roof and probably slowed down my recovery. I was fine over the summer. DS GF could visit and DH had been WFH for months. DS then had his degree apprenticeship cancelled it was 20k per year wage and his University fees paid. I was devastated for him, his sister dying when he was in the first year at secondary school had been obviously terrible. He has been looking for further work etc but no luck, he has built a patio and done decorating and chopped down trees at home to fill his time as well as help run a youth group online for about 50 children. But I am anxious for my lovely DS who has been through so much at a young age.

DH has now had to go in to work but only once a week to give a face to face lecture as he is a University Professor . This causes me anxiety. The Doctor I spoke to thinks DH was asymptomatic and gave me the virus as his campus had very early cases of covid. They were not testing then unless hospitalised.

Ps I have up alcohol completely

Gave up even!

Absolutely crap . I’m spending most days sat in the living room waiting on the next panic attack and struggling to master the basics eg shower, meals and getting fresh air . On a seemingly endless waiting list for telephone therapy .

GP just keeps saying increase meds - so feel a bit zombified . Said on Tuesday I will feel better one day, but when will that be? I can’t shop, eat, watch TV, shower, tidy the house or anything as I’m crippled by this constant fear .

I had a really, really bad episode about ten years ago and I recovered from that but it took about 5 years. I’m two years into this one, this feels so much worse, and can’t bear the thought of even more .

Not great to be honest, can't take antidepressants as allergic so I contact counsellor and to back when I feel I am getting very bad, which I should do. I can't bring myself to do. I just sit watching TV all day and feeling guilty about what I need to do and am not doing. DC are back in school and dh has worked throughout it all. I have panic attacks thinking of going out again and trying to act normal.

I feel your pain, I’m not coping very well at all tbh. I’ve had anxiety for many, many years and have tried lots of things to help to no avail. The last 3 years the anxiety has been absolutely overwhelming and seems to be getting worse. I’m perimenopausal which is probably not helping but I also have so many stresses in my life which is compounding my anxiety but Covid has made it a million times worse. I have had a prescription for Citalopram waiting at my pharmacy for the last 3 weeks but too scared to take. I am my own worse enemy!

Struggling. My insomnia has been awful so I'm more exhausted than usual. I was taking sertraline a couple of years ago but I didn't get on with it (they numbed the negative emotions, but also the positive ones. I felt emotionally castrated). I find my bullet journal helps to organise my thoughts and stop the mental chaos escalating. Walking/exercise, crafting/being creative also helps. I'm starting a beginner running program too (I used to run pre-kids, but stopped when life got busy) so I'm looking forward to a new challenge to focus my mental energy on.
It's hard, but I'm fighting anxiety as much as I can. Trying to find humour in it etc.

Struggling lately. I've worked all through lockdown more hours than I would normally (dh being the breadwinner and 2 preschoolers at home), and dh has been furloughed.

I have definitely benefited of being the one who has to go to work. Being stuck at home all day every day with the kids with no routine or anything to do would really have finished me off I think as I struggle at the best of times. Luckily dh has been ok with it and seems to enjoy it.

My main thing is health anxiety so I have struggled enormously through covid and have had cbt and now onto emdr. Today is a bad day and I am basically sitting with the anxiety wishing it away, not being able to do much at all. Got a stack of washing up to do, kids to entertain, and husband is going out for a couple of hours and I'm dreading having to look after the kids alone. Scared I can't do it. Feel like crying.

I get so wrapped up in the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic that I've convinced myself I have several cancers but I'm too scared to go to the doctors about it (not that I can get through anyway). In reality I know I'm just mentally unwell.

I love my kids more than anything and I really wish I was the mum I thought I would be, fun and engaging and not terrified of everything and getting more and more agoraphobic.

Ok not sure why it didn't post my paragraphs! Must because I am on my phone