Just found out im pregnant but have puppy on the way!

[Casejenk]

Help! Looking for advice to convince me one way or another. ! I found out I was pregnant today, i have a 4yr old and the puppy on the way - she’s 10.5weeks and due to arrive Thursday!!! 😳 Its a Boston terrier x french bulldog! I dont know what to do! I’ve only paid the deposit so far so dont really care if I lose the money but now im frightened about taking on a puppy whilst pregnant but worry if she wont be able to find a new home if I cancel.
Im assuming a newborn, a 8month old pup and a 5yr old is a bad idea? So confused. I was not expecting to be pregnant.

I also think your puppy will be at its most challenging when your baby comes along. Big decision as you don’t want your 4 yo to associate not having a puppy because they got a sibling. So I would hide this fact if you decide to cancel. Personally I wouldn’t have been able to cope with a challenging puppy and baby but I wasn’t well.

From the title, I thought Take a Break had made it to MN!
No advice but congratulations!

Boston Terriers are amazing with babies.

Teenage puppy just as much work as a young puppy!

Also you may find managing the pup and the 5 yr old tricky. They are nippy- mine became obsessed with nipping my child's bum as he walked away. The older kids coped (though their t shirts got a few holes), but the younger one was distraught. It hurts, and it feels like the dog doesn't like you.

I would cancel for the following reasons:

Pregnancy is so tiring and with a 4 year older as well, I’m not sure adding a puppy to the mix at this time is wise. You may suffer bad morning sickness, or PGP or any number of things that may make it very difficult to care for the puppy.

Let’s say you do get pup and pregnancy goes fine but when baby is born, baby has colic/reflux/won’t sleep/has to be held. You’ll be in the awful situation where poor pub will be neglected. The baby’s needs are always going to come first over the dog, this will feel awful for you as you’ll feel guilty and be terrible for the poor pup. Let’s say you don’t cope, or pup isn’t handling the stress of crying baby, less attention or whatever....your 4 year old is going to already be attached to the dog, having to rehome the dog at the point will be far worse than cancelling it now.

Right now it’s much kinder to the puppy if you let it be rehomed now, when another family will easily be found for it. It’s also much kinder to yourself and your family to delay getting a puppy until you situation is much more settled and you can properly commit to the attention, training and care a puppy is going to need.

I hope that helps.

I don't think you should have the puppy, think about getting a dog when your children are older.

In my experience, it's a bad idea. I wanted s puppy/dog my whole life and finally got one unfortunately around the time of having a baby. I never ever bonded with her like I know I would have otherwise. I felt angry at her for waking baby, stealing stuff, wanting attention etc. It was such a regret for me (not being able to cope and enjoy the beautiful dog).

@AdobeWanKenobi

Just found out im pregnant but have puppy on the way

Have you spoken to Guinness? Suspect that might be a first 😂

My first thought too 🤣

@Casejenk. If you're thinking it's a bad idea, it probably is. I think as a non experienced dog owner it's really not a good idea.

The breeder won't have any problem finding another home at this stage. There's a shortage of pups.

Better to let the pup go to a new home now, than in a years time when you're broken by young pup, a small baby & a 5yo.

I'd reconsider the puppy for a little down the line.

4 year olds will believe monumental amounts of BS! Tell them that the puppy loves her mummy too much to leave and wants to stay with her. Make a card to send to the puppy.

The puppy will be at peak teenage phase when baby is born. They basically forget everything you’ve taught them for a while.

As you’ve never had a dog before, and are obviously very inexperienced I’d say enjoy your newborn without the stress and worry of also training a stubborn dog.

Imagine having 45minutes of sleep, holding a screaming baby, a 4 year old that feels left out and jealous and is kicking off, and seeing the dog has shit everywhere and smeared it all over the pram/floor/carpet. You’ll wish you’d never got the dog in the first place.

Personally I'd cancel.

I found our puppies more work than our dcs, and I have absolutely vowed never to get another one (I will). Think incontinent nappieless toddlers on speed, with razor sharp teeth, and a tendency to nip anything that moves, and chew everything that doesn't. They reduced me to tears at times.

Add to that the joy of getting up numerous times in the night, to stand outside in the freezing cold while they sniff and play and resolutely refuse to wee. Only to come in, whereupon they immediate wee. Then poo. And don't forget separation anxiety. The whining, and crying and howling that can be heard 3 streets away, despite the fact you are only in the next room (cleaning up their latest poo.... having shut them somewhere else to stop them eating it).

Those are just the highlights.

That said, those aren't the reasons I'd cancel. The main reasons are that just as your newborn arrives your puppy will be entering into a really stubborn teenage phase, and your older child will be dealing with some pretty complex emotions as they adjust to your time and attention being largely focussed on someone other than them. It's a tricky period, and you will not have the time you need to invest in training your dog. Teenage dogs need a lot of refresher training sessions as they start to challenge, and ignore and generally be a complete pain in the butt. It's not a good time to suddenly ignore them if you want to have a balanced well adjusted family pet.

Definitely cancel and revisit the idea when your dc1 is old enough to do the majority of the dog care and training, and would enjoy the dog more.

To be honest, I'd be inclined to put the puppy on hold for a few years - maybe until your children are 5 and 10, or even a couple of years older, because at that age, they understand better how to treat dogs (how to stroke them properly, not to wind them up, how to hold them etc) and would also be able to help feed them and walk them, or the older one would at least, particularly if you waited until they were at high school. I'm not saying use your child as a slave dog walker or anything, just that if you wait a bit longer it could truly be a family pet that you all love, appreciate and help with - and you will be much less stressed, and find the pup easier to train, particularly as your children will be old enough to do most things for themselves, relating to basic care at least.

My ddog is nearly two and way to bouncy to be around a baby.

Having a new baby is super stressful, I would let the puppy go for now and think again in a few years or so.

Cancel the puppy. I'm unwillingly living with a puppy, a 3 year old and a 1 year old - it's horrible and has put me off having a dog of our own.

I think I'd pull out of getting the puppy. Maybe I'm worst case scenario-ing, but I immediately think of the regular cases of dogs killing or seriously injurying babies and toddlers. And any dog any breed can do that.

I had just taken delivery of two puppies when I found out I was pregnant.

It was fine. Walking kept me fit. They were young enough when the baby was born to take him entirely in their stride and never gave me a moment's anxiety. When he was asleep in his pram in the garden, they lay down next to the pram.

That's as maybe @oneglassandpuzzled, but you only had the one child, and babies stay happily in prams or slings while you spend time puppy training. It's a very different situation when you are juggling the different needs of differently aged children, especially where one is dealing with the emotional difficulties of their DM suddenly being 'stolen' by the new baby. It's a tricky adjustment period.

@Casejenk

Nope! Not experienced at all! Was willing to invest what was needed and had researched the breed/s and not having personal experience with either, it seemed a good fit. I was always conscious that I was in for some hard work... but this might be setting us all up for failure! A little too hard, you think? 🙆‍♀️

@Casejenk

What research did you do that resulted in you choosing this mix?

You've chosen a mix of 2 breeds with significant health problems. That means they're likely poor specimens of the original breed crossed together for financial gain. They certainly aren't being bred for good health or welfare reasons. This means the pup is at significantly increased risk of both behavioural and physical health problems (and comes from 2 breeds where this is already a significant problem). Additionally toy breeds like these usually take longer to toilet train and are often prone to anxiety disorders - especially if not from healthy and emotionally robust parents.

Basic research or discussion with a veterinary professional would have highlighted that this mix is likely to be problematic in terms of its health and welfare.

So if you can juggle that time and expense alongside a new baby, sure, go for it...

Cancel the puppy! Give yourself a break, you don’t need the extra stress or work.

Great idea from a PP about telling DS the puppy wants to stay with its mummy.

How did you manage that?

Think carefully about what you want, how you will manage your time in pregnancy, who will look after the puppy in your last months of pregnancy and post partum!

I have a 15 week old puppy plus a 5yo & a 7yo. There is no way I could have coped with the kids being any younger. Seriously I would cancel and reassess in 5 years time.

You'll be fine. They'll grow up together!

Thanks everyone for your input. We’ve sadly but smartly cancelled the puppy & our fingers crossed she finds a new home where she can be the centre of attention as deserved.