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Original poster

Do you enjoy your children more now they are older?

51 replies

KylieKangaroo · 05/11/2020 21:05

Just that really, had a really tough year, hasn't everyone and wondered if you enjoy parenting more now your kids are older? I'm thinking ahead into the teenager years when they don't need you to put them to bed etc. I know you shouldn't wish the time away but for some reason I am at the moment!

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 05/11/2020 21:09

Yes! Mine were great teenagers and they are wonderful young adults. I love spending time with them and they seem to enjoy being with DH and me as well. It's lots of fun now without the hard graft of their childhood years.

Sipperskipper · 05/11/2020 21:10

I'm nowhere near teenager years but enjoying parenting DD1 (3.5) far more at this age than any other. DD2 is 11 weeks old, and sweet and lovely as she is, I'm very much looking forward to her being of preschool age - so interesting and funny, reliable sleep (I hope!) and of course the bonus of some time at preschool!

Sara2000 · 05/11/2020 21:11

Yes and no.. I'd give anything to hold their little hands again. I miss the adoration and love they have for you when they're young. I dont miss the relentless tidying up, chores, cooking and running around. I am normally in bed before them now and every evening is mine. Just a shame I have bugger all to do.

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ihatethecold · 05/11/2020 21:11

absolutely, I have older teens and they are great to be around.

nancybotwinbloom · 05/11/2020 21:12

Yes. She's only seven but every year gets better in my opinion.

I realise thus may change as she wants more independence.

Lovinglavidaloca · 05/11/2020 21:13

Looking forward to reading the replies on here.

Recently I feel as though I’m a ‘just get through it’ parent rather than actually enjoying them. I wish I had the mindset of wanting to fill every day with them but I just don’t.

DrizzleandDamp · 05/11/2020 21:14

Following this thread because I need to see some light at the end of the tunnel.

Having said that I’ll add that now DD1 has hit 11 we do get to do some lovely things together, and while I adore the little ones utter cuteness and will miss that, I won’t miss the screaming and graft!

EssentialHummus · 05/11/2020 21:23

I'm another one who is enjoying DD more and more at the grand old age of three. She sleeps reliably (the other day she woke up at 5 and I went down the hallway, said "It's really early, go back to sleep"... and she did! ), talks to me, understands things, can be reasoned with, doesn't have to be within 10m of a potty at all times. I can see how things would get even better over time.

Stompythedinosaur · 05/11/2020 21:23

Absolutely yes! My two are 9 and 7 and life is sunny. They still enjoy family time, but are independent enough that I can get on with my own things too. They enjoy activities that are genuinely fun for me too.

The best thing is that they sleep through the night. Many of the lovely bits of their baby and toddlerhoods were overshadowed by how ridiculously tired I was all the time.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 05/11/2020 21:29

Although teens are easy in a ‘work’ way, mentally it can be much tougher. Mine are older now and I’d do anything to have them be small again even though they are great. I think the easiest age was between 5-10.

CucumberFacePot · 05/11/2020 21:56

Parenting teens is easier in some ways and tougher in others. I definitely have more time to relax and let them get on with it, but I miss the days when I could "fix" things for them and their issues are much more complex. I have a 13 yo and 14 yo and I do miss then as they were as babies and toddlers. That said, I love spending time with them and really enjoy their company. Unfortunately they are not so keen to spend time with me and would rather be sitting in their bedrooms on their phones!

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 05/11/2020 22:01

I'm loving parenting teens and tweens.

MushMonster · 05/11/2020 22:03

Mixed. She is more interesting and fun to spend time with as she grows.
But I miss my girl! I wish she needed me a bit more. And I am not fond of the teen tantrums.

bigTillyMint · 05/11/2020 22:09

My absolute worst time was when they were teens. Going through puberty is a very difficult time, especially in this modern world. Nearly every young adult I know/know of has had some sort of MH issues You can’t just “fix” a teens problems in the way you can a child’s - that’s what I found the most difficult.

Mine were easy babies and primary school years are probably the best time for most families. And they are great now they are young adults

HappeBee · 05/11/2020 22:16

Following as curious to know especially for what to expect after 5 and 6 years old.

I love this age much more than baby/toddler stage even if I'm quite lucky to have 2 who always slept well. Every year has been better so far and i will never have any more children again... The pros for under 3s are the cuteness and inability to talk back (mine can be real PITA). Also with babies they are portable, you can stick them in buggies to visit museums and meet people for lunches and talk.

What I cant stand at the moment is they are always hyper and want to play and are very loud (while I'm an introvert) and hard to reason with and we dont enjoy the same activities. They dont or cant read on their own. They are constantly bickering, whiny and exhausting to bring out e.g. for walks or mini road trips. I do enjoy their innocence but more often they are testing my patience and looking to me for their amusement so often I cant wait for them to grow up.

wellthatsunusual · 05/11/2020 22:25

I absolutely love having older children. Life is much more enjoyable now. I don't yearn for the baby or toddler or 5 year old days even though I enjoyed them at the time.

Whatatoodoodle · 05/11/2020 22:36

Tweens here.
One was hard work as a baby and toddler. Quite a pleasant pre schooler but had some issues during primary. Now he’s started secondary he seems to be coming into his own in a way i never imagined. New interests, confidence and generally interesting to be with. It’s actually a pleasure to parent him for the first time.

HappeBee · 05/11/2020 22:36

@Lovinglavidaloca

Looking forward to reading the replies on here.

Recently I feel as though I’m a ‘just get through it’ parent rather than actually enjoying them. I wish I had the mindset of wanting to fill every day with them but I just don’t.

This is exactly how I feel. How old are yours?

Even though my two sleep well I've never felt more mentally shattered (more so than the year when I had 2 under 2) everyday feels like a fucking chore... do your homework, where is your shoe, get out of house, have a bath, get changed, brush your teeth, stop fighting, stop whining and walk properly, pick up your mess, dont call your sister names, dont tear your brothers art, dont eat my food, stop snacking, stop being dramatic, get out I'm on a work call, dont cheat at games, stop shouting, blah blah blah...

BadPoet · 05/11/2020 22:43

I think this is very personal, and I speak as someone who loved parenting small babies and found toddlers/pre-schoolers trickier. I absolutely love having teens.

2bazookas · 05/11/2020 22:49

Just enjoy each stage as it comes ; childhood is over in a flash. I wish I'd kept diaries.

AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore · 05/11/2020 22:59

My two are mid teens: and for me, it's a lovely age. They are funny and full of potential, you can see their adults selves poking through, but the toddler-silliness is there too. There is lots of emotional 'work' as a parent, but in practical terms they can genuinely help: I mean their rooms are a constant tip, but they'll cook, tidy, buy me snacks ;-) I have really missed seeing their mates over lockdown: teenagers together are just so sweet and funny: one of my daughters mates sent me a post-it the other day to introduce himself!

I adored the toddler/early school years, but jeez it's hard work physically, and so draining. My teens are have had some hard stretches, but this eve, they spent ages dancing with me in the kitchen helping me clear up, then they both snuggled up on the sofa to watch tele with us, then put themselves to bed. It was a lovely evening.

There's light at the end of the tunnel!

BogRollBOGOF · 05/11/2020 23:07

I love 7 & 9. Their personalitied are getting clearer. DS1 has his diagnoses. They're less needy. But still fresh and innocent children.

The teenage years can't be worse than 1/3 or 2/4. At least now it's possible to indicate what's wrong rather than just screaming and headbutting the floor!
It's also legal to leave them to it and go and clear your head!
(Not looking forwards to the exams at 16/18 though!)

WorraLiberty · 05/11/2020 23:07

Yes and no.

I have 3 young men aged 28, 21 and 18 (next week).

I absolutely love their company, their conversation, their sense of humour and their loyalty.

But as a PP said, when I look back I do miss them being little and holding my hand, I miss reading them bedtime stories and that sort of unconditional admiration they had when they thought I was 'Superwoman'

But that's probably me looking back through rose tinted glasses as I don't miss the sleepless nights, nappies and total and complete dependence on me (although I never minded the latter at the time).

I think that's the beauty of kids. Every stage has its pros and cons but it does get much easier past the teenage years.

CountessFrog · 05/11/2020 23:12

God yes!

They are ace.

WorraLiberty · 05/11/2020 23:13

The teenage years can't be worse than 1/3 or 2/4. At least now it's possible to indicate what's wrong rather than just screaming and headbutting the floor!

For some though it is far far worse.

All 3 of my DC have had friends who have self-harmed, developed eating disorders, been in trouble with the police, become addicted to drugs/alcohol etc.

Some have come out of that at the other end and turned into calm, happy, level headed adults and some sadly haven't.

Sad but true.

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