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Why can’t I get over this?

9 replies

Autumnvisage · 05/11/2020 20:31

NC just in case...
A few weeks ago I tested positive for coronavirus. It was 2 days after my birthday so I had seen 2 groups of friends whilst I was contagious but not showing any symptoms yet. I told everyone when I started with symptoms & took a test. I then told everyone when my positive result came back. Everyone was understandably worried and upset but we all kept in touch over the next two weeks (whilst we all isolated) and supported each other. Everyone was very understanding apart from 1 friend. Let’s call her A. I have been on holiday with A this year, we had a great time, we speak several times a day on a group chat. Apart from lockdown we met up for walks/meals every week. Then I filled out the test & trace form and she received a text to say she should self isolate etc. and she was furious. She completely ignored me for the full isolation period, acknowledged all her other friends but wouldn’t talk to me. She said she couldn’t be bothered to explain what was wrong but she was mad that I had reported her to Test & Trace and I only wanted to ruin her birthday. (We are adults btw...)
I explained several times that I had no intention of ruining her birthday, especially since they made mine so special. She said I should’ve asked her if she wanted to go on test & trace. I reached out to her several times and she still blanked me. All of a sudden once isolation was over she was straight back into chatting everyday and pretended nothing had happened. Then it was my turn to be mad. After punishing me all that time she suddenly decided I was worthy of her attention. So I got mad, told her how I felt and just said I’m taking a step back. She apologised for how she acted which was great, but I just can’t get past it. I just don’t understand why we had all this drama over a legal requirement. It’s really changed my views of her and I’m struggling to get past this. What can I do?! It seems such a waste of friendship because we were so close before this kicked off.

OP posts:
Autumnvisage · 05/11/2020 20:34

I will add I had apologised several times over lockdown for causing any upset and I explained that it wasn’t done with malicious intent. She was also in the best position compared with other friends, she’s young, healthy and is able to work from home. So it was only her social life that had been affected for 2 weeks. Unfortunately over her birthday, but it wasn’t a big birthday.

OP posts:
Letsallscreamatthesistene · 05/11/2020 20:44

Did she offer any explanation why she acted like she did?

Autumnvisage · 05/11/2020 20:50

She just said she was mad with me so she didn’t want to talk to me. I want to get past this because it seems daft to fall out over this but at the same time I can’t get over it. Because I don’t trust that she’s not just going to do the same again later down the line. Just suddenly cut me off and ignore me. I’m so conflicted and I don’t know what to say.

OP posts:
PoptartPoptart · 05/11/2020 21:04

She’s not a real friend if she treats you this way op.
And she didn’t want you to name her on the test and trace why? Because she didn’t want to have to isolate? Tough. Would she rather potentially infect dozens of other people? She sounds very selfish

Aquamarine1029 · 05/11/2020 21:08

I'd be done with her, honestly. She has shown her true colours, and there's no coming back from that. She's spiteful and vindictive. Dump and move on.

nancybotwinbloom · 05/11/2020 21:21

She sounds really selfish.

You did what was right.
Imagine if she'd infected people who went on to infect people.

Any of those people could have had complications and god forbid, died from it.

Ffs. What's wrong with her?

cushioncovers · 05/11/2020 21:24

You didn't do anything wrong op. You're friend behaved badly and has shown her true colours.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 05/11/2020 21:29

She sounds incredibly childish and selfish tbh. I can't see what you have done wrong. I would take a massive step back from her!

Autumnvisage · 05/11/2020 22:22

Thank you all, I’m glad you all hold the same view. I was really doubting myself. I think the best thing to do is step back and keep my distance.

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