am i being too sensitive about this?

[whatsot]

Been dating 3 months, seen each other a lot and talk every evening, sometimes a short chat other times long calls. It’s been nice.

We are able to see each other during lockdown as we are in each other’s bubble. However, I suggested taking lockdown apart as I had felt we had seen each other a LOT and I just wanted to slow it down a bit. I suggested we didn’t see each other for the next two weekends. This probably came a bit out of the blue to him as we are quite close and I do enjoy a lot of contact and he does too.

But..when I suggested this and told him I wasn’t ready to go on a mini break at Christmas (if allowed by then), he said fine we could not see each other for two weeks but I shouldn’t expect him to ‘hold feelings’ as he is not like that and the longer we are apart he knew his feelings would fade.

I don’t know what to make of this but it has made me feel like he doesn’t really actually care that much about me?! I understand that if you don’t see someone for a long time you might move on or forget about them or if they don’t want to go on a mini break two years in then it’s all a bit pointless if that’s what you want from a relationship but all I said was I’m not ready for a mini break and I would like two weekends off. I explained it was because I didn’t want to speed into something and we had spent a lot of time together and it was not about wanting to date anyone else.

Am I being over sensitive?

I'd feel very hurt if I were him.

Poor bloke. You've been dating 3 months and you're already asking for a break. He must feel like you are backing off hugely.

Your reaction is a bit weird to be honest.I think he was reasonable enough. One weekend apart ok but two when you’re doing nothing makes it seem like you’re not interested.

Same as PP really. Id actually be offended if I was the guy and you told me you didnt want to see me for two weekends straight AND not go on a mini break together. I think it'd actually change my perspective of the relationship a fair bit to be honest.

I think its something you'll have to work through if you are going to make it work. He's obviously hurt by the suggestion.

I'd caution though and caveat with asking if he has been really intense? Why do you feel you need a break?

I think a mini break after three months is pretty normal.

Well he thinks you’re giving him the push so of course he’s going to say he’s not going to wait around for you.

Agree ... he thinks you are cooling .. are you OP ?

I would be raging if I formed a bubble with someone and they then said they didn't want to see me for weeks. I dont blame him for being a bit off with you OP, you come across as being quite insensitive, not too sensitive.

Ummm that's quite weird OP

I'd be raging if I were him and wouldn't bother with you anymore

Why form a bubble with someone and then say you don't want to see them?

I think you've really hurt his feelings and it has made him defensive. You're being very insensitive and quite confusing, honestly. You say want to bubble with him but not see him for two weeks. What are you playing at?

@GuillermoVanHelsing

Why form a bubble with someone and then say you don't want to see them?

This is what I wanted to say.

It's lonely at the moment and by agreeing to bubble with him you decided to be each other's support network (as that's what the bubble thing is for). He can't bubble with anyone else, so he has to stay alone now - and probably feels like he's done something wrong and is being rejected. Poor bloke.

He sounds very intense. I'm not surprised you need a break.

I'd be hurt if I was him. He can only have one bubble and you've told him you don't want to see him, which means he has to spend a month isolated. That's really unkind to do that to someone you (I assume?) have feelings for. It's OK to want some time for yourself, but now wasn't the time for that.