DH suffering from severe hypochondria and stomach problems- please hand hold

[LukeSkywalkerBoots]

Hi all

DH has had stomach problems on and off for nearly 20 years. Occasional cramps and diahrrea. He has had a couple of colonoscopies and been poked and prodded. Was on meberverine for a while. Last specialist appt was four years ago and he was told his feacal calprotectin levels were borderline. Since then things have got a bit worse. He has spasms a lot and often chooses to miss meals to avoid having the spasms or diarrhea. He is very thin (always has been) so cant avoid missing meals.

On top of the above he has got himself in a terrible state about his health. He has severe health anxiety (his dad died at 57 of aggressive liver cancer very fast) and spends most of his life convinced he is dying. He can’t imagine any other scenario and once he has had reassurance from a dr things die down for a while and then he goes on to worrying about the next twinge or health concern.

I’m registering him to have online counselling and to see a dietitian, and he is going through the mill of doing stool samples and blood tests.

He talks so much about how scared he is that it ends up scaring me and I end up thinking what if he is right. It’s like we live under a constant cloud of death. I’m v worried about what the test results will say. Can someone hold my hand

Health anxiety is dreadful. I suffer from it myself. Distraction, CBT, correct tests but not too many and anti Ds can make it more bearable. There are some online forums but googling is my downfall. Someone told me to google stuff with non fatal outcomes as often symptoms are the same so that info coupled with the tests he has had may reassure him more. And the anxiety wreaks havoc in my belly too so could be affecting him. Sending a hand hold

That's so rubbish for you both OP. Much sympathy here for you. Bowel problems and anxiety are very closely linked so they could be making each other worse. Going by personal experience there.
Sending hugs, and prayers for emotional serenity for you both xx

Thank you. I’m really struggling. He is saying he is consigned to his fate and it’s really grim. I can’t convince him otherwise and I feel like I’m really depressed.

@LittleOverwhelmed He goes for walks but no exercise other than that. He hasn’t had counselling but he certainly needs it. He says his dads death ruined his life.

I don't want to diagnose or have any qualifications to, but a similar thing happened with my partner and he lost a lot of weight rapidly and continued to deteriorate for a few years.

After not finding anything definitive in any scans he was prescribed antidepressants and low and behold he now deals with about 5-10% of the issues he once had.

Just want to sympathise. DH lost his dad when he was 12 (dad was 52 and died of a sudden heart attack). It has absolutely negatively affected DH’s life - he has a fatalistic outlook, vague chest pains have always been treated with huge suspicion and I didn’t realise until DH mentioned it but he breathed a huge sigh of relief when he passed the age of 52 (he’s now 60).

That’s actually reassuring @Itsnotalwaysme but I’m sorry for what you both went through. So he had stomach problems too?

@LightThatFire interestingly I have always suspected that the more he approaches his dad’s final age the more worried he gets. He is still 12 years off.

Yes, I think all his symptoms were cramps, nausea, vomiting after every meal, vomiting randomly every hour or so, diarrhoea, he had no energy and lost about 4-5 stone in total.

He had lots of different anti nausea medications, stool samples, bloods, camera up and camera down, a few hospital admissions.

For him it was entirely mental. He had serious problems he hadn't dealt with mentally so it manifested itself this way.

If he doesn't take his medication or is unusually stressed the first thing that happens is he goes off food and vomits. Its horrible for him but helpful for me to have a visual warning of when he might be unwell so I can help