Moving back in with parents to save

[hoven]

DH, DS and I are planning on moving in with my parents next year to save for a mortgage deposit. We are in our 30's and DS will be nearly 1 by that time. Luckily we will have a bedroom, a living area, a room for DS and a bathroom to ourselves. We will be sharing the kitchen with my parents. I am looking forward to being able to save for a deposit but DH is quite apprehensive understandably.

Did anyone else move in back in with their parents and how did it go?

I am looking for some much needed motivation and/or realistic expectations.

Bump

It sounds like you basically have a self contained flat! Totally different to one bedroom in their house. I would put some cooking bits in your living area...mini fridge, microwave, kettle etc so you don’t always HAVE to eat with them and DH has an option, particularly for breakfast when you might not be ready to face the day.
It will be so worth it to save for a deposit, just make sure you save as much as you can, don’t waste the opportunity. You are very lucky and your DH should be grateful.

Don’t do it. Not least because your DH doesn’t want to.

I would with your set up if you get on. You have own living area, 2 bedrooms and bathroom so not all on top of each other

Add kettle/ coffee machineand fridge like someone said to living area so you can make tea or coffee first thing and keep snacks and drinks so you have a bit of privacy.

If you have a time scale of just 1-2 years I think it would work

Yes I keep explaining to him how lucky we are but having lived by himself for so long he feels it would be awkward sharing a space with them

I couldn't do it, especially with a baby.

I'm doing it with my ds atm, been here over a year and planned to buy but my job is unstable at the moment so I've pulled away from that plan. It was all good until the 2nd lockdown. It's hard nothaving my own space sometimes but I have been able to save a great deposit so far

It’s not lucky for him if he doesn’t want to do it. How long do you expect it’ll take you to save what you need? What’s his relationship like with your parents?

It hate it. And I adore my parents.

@unicornparty why not?

Good idea. We have our own fridge in our rented flat so will definitely take this with us for quick breakfasts and snacks

I did it in my parents with a DH but no baby. It worked really well and we now joke that DH is their favourite child.. sometimes I'm afraid that is not a joke!
I think the main reason it worked well was that my parents have their own lives. They weren't looking to us for entertainment and we mostly cooked and ate separately.

Too be honest I don't get on massively with my dad but he is usually out working a lot so hoping I can avoid him at times.

Well done on being able to save. How old is your dc?

Right, so you don’t get on with your dad and your DH doesn’t want to and you still think this is a good idea why?

You don’t get on with your dad, your DH doesn’t want to... this will be a disaster OP I really wouldn’t do it.

I wouldn’t do it myself and I adore my mother.

To save money for a mortgage deposit. When I lived with my parents before we didn't have this set up so we had more shared space. I'm hoping that having our own areas of the house will help us get on better as we won't cross paths as much. My DH is apprehensive as it is a strange set up for him ( he's not from the UK) but he sees the benefits in terms of how much we can save. We are in the south east so it seems as if this is the only way we will manage to get a house.

It’s a terrible idea. You’ll have to find another way of saving money. Most people don’t have the option of going back to their mum and dad’s in their 30s barring a disaster. You have a husband, you have a child. You can’t prioritise saving up over your husband’s wishes or your family’s wellbeing. Moving a baby into a stressful dynamic is really irresponsible unless you have no other option. Renting won’t kill you. Cut back and save everything you can without moving in with at least one person you’d actively choose to avoid.

You are already looking for ways to actively avoid the people you want to move in with! Honestly, give your head a wobble and pull the plug on this crazy idea.

Do you know how much rent costs these days @AnneLovesGilbert??

We pay 1500£ a month for a 2 bed! I’d give anything to move back with my parents for a year to get my deposit together - as it stands it’s years away or possibly never tbh!

So op if I was you I’d totally do this it will be so worth it in the long run

Thanks @Heyahun although it may not be perfect living with my parents for a year neither is renting! We pay a bit less than you and I hate our flat

Yes of course I do

And is it only OP’s opinion that counts? Her DH isn’t keen, she doesn’t like spending time with her dad, it’s madness.

How do your parents feel? I know it’d be difficult for most people to have son-in-law and baby move in for a year or more!!!!

I assume they’re charging you something to live there, have you discussed how much?

I think you will be fine if you have a positive mindset.