How do you accept you will never have children?

[LiveLoveWoof]

I'm 33 and asexual. I have zero interest in having a relationship.

I am desperate for a baby and would use donor sperm but...

1. I am overweight. My BMI is obese. I'm 5'2 weigh 15st 11oz, size 18/20 clothes. I find it incredibly difficult to lose weight as I have ADHD and I'm incredibly impulsive.. eat first think of consequences later. I also have severe sciatica and find exercising difficult.

1. I have pcos and have periods 3 times a year, if that. I know losing weight would increase my chances.

I'm very unlikely to have a baby but it's all i can think about. I look at baby clothes in shops. I've even bought some bits. They are in a box under my bed.

How do you accept you won't have children?

You are at an age where it may be possible, perhaps you could use your desire to improve your overall health which is beneficial whether or not you have kids. And never say never - a friend of mine swore blind they weren't interested in relationships then at 36 met their dp, not a conventional relationship, but they are happy, have 2 kids and more stable than us "normal" types 15 years on.

OP, it came across how much you want a baby but that’s such a short period - do you definitely want a child/teenager etc?

I don’t think you’re too old. I know people that are ten years older than you and have a had baby. Like a pp said though you have to want a child not just a baby.

Children aren't an accessory. They don't stay as babies for long, are a lot work, unless you can afford child care they'll really mess with your career and finances and you won't have much social life

Yes of course I want the child, teenager etc!

The OP asks about not having children, refers to wanting a baby (which is how most people have children) and gets a telling about wanting a fashion accessory- Mumsnet at its finest 🙄

In answer to the question - you still have time. If you really think it won’t happen for you, what helped me was deciding how I wanted my child free life to be and got on with planning that. I changed jobs, travelled and enjoyed being able to do things that would be very difficult with children in tow. That really helped me accept that children would have been a lovely part of my life, but life was good without. I also involved myself with nephews and nieces and friends children. I was very happy living child free.

After 25 years of marriage, aged 46, I went on to adopt two children which has also been lovely and I’m very thankful to have them, but if adoption hadn’t worked out I know I would have been happy in my life as it was.

I think you want to ask people who are involuntary childless how they came to terms with it. If you search you will find threads on it. I am not sure it is something you ever completely get over if you wanted them but you learn to lead a fulfilling life.

Whether its through adhd medication, goal tracking, group support, cbt, losing weight will benefit you. Dont let your conditions define your life.

I think if it’s something you want you should go for it. I’ve know people live their lives without children that wanted them and still had a good life but many say they still feel like something is missing.