Overcoming Misophonia?

[Wildernesstips]

Anyone successfully managed to reduce the rage caused by misophonia by CBT or hypnotherapy? I’m getting desperate, and I swear the menopause is making it worse.

I literally have to shut two doors and put headphones on when DH eats granola and I still get murderous.

Also my DH is loud and noisy and the DC are copying him, DD3 now has a screams thing she does and another noise like a baying donkey. They all shout stupid film quotes all the time too. I love them to death obviously but sometimes find it so hard to live with them all. I often retreat upstairs for some P&Q. I don’t know if it’s due to my fibromyalgia that I hate loud noise in general.

My dd also has this.
At first I think was upset then I realised she can't help it.
I laugh with her about it now and let her do whatever she needs too.
I love try and have background noise on when eating eg TV, I try and eat at the same same time!. Its still hard though as it stops me relaxing when eating.

Mine is becoming worse and my family is noticing. I would love to overcome it. I was going to post about the BBC ident ‘oneness’ that has all the mugs and water being poured into a cup. Pouring noises (wine, water, tea) are my worst noises. This ident happens before/after the news and all the public info announcements around Covid. I just say ‘fuck’ every time I don’t get my fingers in my ears in time. I could weep it winds me up so much. I’ve thought about complaining but then thought I’m on my own here. Chewing, crunching, slurping, breathing, my son clinking ice cubes in his drinks - writing it all down now I realise it’s a real problem. The viciousness I feel is scary. I live in a small house and there’s nowhere to hide. I remember complaining about my mum’s breathing and she’d rotate her foot and make her shoes squeak. I would love to fix it as it is getting so annoying. Chewing gum is another one - I’ve moved seats on buses, seats in cinemas. Will be watching this with interest. I’m in my late 40s.

The thing is, people who don’t have it don’t realise that is an actual physical rage. I try to describe it, and people laugh because they think I’m kidding.

At the moment I have to work with someone who eats all the time over video calls, and we are in calls together 5-6 hrs a day. It’s the perfect storm. She has some kind of ultra-fast metabolism so literally has a meal every half hour. One day she was slurping noodles and I really just desperately wanted to hit her. I am not in any way, nor ever have been, a violent person.

At home, I would love to have more family meals, but we often eat in front of the tv because it’s a coping mechanism for me. I can’t even stand the sound of myself eating. I have been known to get off a train and wait an hour for another one in sub-zero temperatures because of someone eating crisps.

I tried therapy, and we got as far as a possible connection to my mother shaming/embarrassing me repeatedly for table manners as a small child (although I don’t remember it as particularly traumatic). That the rage is theoretically me reliving the shame, and feeling anger towards my mother because of it. It would have been useful if we figured out something I could actually do to fix it though.

I have this too and it is triggered more by my DP than anyone else.
His breathing especially as he actually have a very noisy whistley nose, my worst nightmare. AMD now he's started breathing through his mouth sometimes which is actually worse.

I have wondered if it is perhaps the complement or opposite of ASMR.

ASMR makes me want to hit things. It provokes the same kind of very physical anger in me. But some people really get off on it, so maybe it’s some kind of overstimulation?

My daughter has this too, she has ear plugs and headphones to lessen the noise. It's teachers that are the worst for her, shushing and shouting in particular, lip smacking the list is long with teacher noises st the moment. She's eaten meals in her room for ages now because she can't stand her sisters eating noises. It's the pits at school because she can't escape from it! She used to be able to go to a different room if she felt particularly anxious but because of bubbles she isn't allowed anymore 😔

I have to put the radio on to drown out the noise.

Following with interest!
I've considered hypnotherapy for this. Typing, tapping, eating, all make me want to scream with rage and distress. It's awful! Eating I can cope with if there is other noise for distraction like a TV. Typing used to make me so stressed in the office, I'm so glad to be WFH now. Any form of tapping, I can't cope.

I've found my people. I've had this since I was a child and it's getting worse (now 40s). I can't describe the rage and, sometimes, panic. I'm at the point where I have to eat alone or have loud background music/TV. It extends to other repetitive noises (tapping or clicking makes me murderous). And don't get me started on ASMR.

Would love to know a solution.

Solidarity to all of you misophones out there.

@theliverpoolone my (nice) parents found it funny and didn’t realise how bad it was for me and would do it to wind me up sometimes which made it worse. If she struggled with hearing you eating would putting music on at dinner time help? It really helps reduce the noises that you can hear

Does anyone have it around the sound when people kiss?

@ZaraCarmichaelshighheels I don’t think it’s just women that suffer as both my DS (young adults) have it too.

We are now eating in front of the TV every night except Sunday, and the youngest eats in his room (or it completely puts him off his food).

I just feel that the solution must be more than blocking out the noise though. It absolutely must be about calming the rage.

I have this and it has definitely got worse as I have got older. Started when I was young with people eating. Cannot abide noisy eaters, gives me the rage. Now it is water sloshing in an iron, wine being poured, fountains. The worse was the office - the typing + colleagues who ate noisily - used to leave the room. When hotdesking came in I moved floors! I still work headphones most of the day and played a white noise app (airport ambiance was my noise of choice). WAH has been a godsend, I am never going back if I can help it.

I also have a problem, related, with people touching stuff. Mainly if they are stroking their beards, or applying makeup or creams. It has a name like kineticphobia, or something like that.

I am self diagnosed!

I have this with dps eating noises so we have the radio on at dinner time to mask the noise. I can just about cope with that. Ds1 has it in response to ds2's eating noises and eats in his room because even the radio doesn't help. We're both autistic so extra sensitive to noise. I've just ordered Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts for ds1 and am awaiting their arrival with hope! It would be lovely to eat at the table all of us together again.

Weirdly, after reading the start of this thread last night, I had dinner with OP and didn't notice any noises. I'm trying to pinpoint why! The food ( made by DP) was lovely and I concentrated on that..., I'd had a bath so was relaxed, was distracted at the start of the meal chatting something...who knows. I didn't 'try', just realised afterwards. But it gave me some hope.

Following with interest. Misophonia has ruined my life for years. The worst thing is that it never stops - being away from triggers doesn't make it go away, because I know it's only a temporary situational reprieve.

It's always so nice for me on threads like this to see parents who are so sympathetic to their children's suffering. Like most people here my family weren't sympathetic at all. My husband is pretty laid back and has learned not to sniff in my presence but he doesn't get it at all.

Dinner with DP, not OP! 😁

I’m dreading going back to work full time (currently wfh mostly) because I can’t bear sitting next to colleagues eating - it pisses me off because we have a lunch room but they’ll still sit at their desk right next to me chomping through a hot meal or a massive bag of popcorn. I have to time my break so I can leave the office till they’ve finished but it’s not always possible, I’m aware I’d look like a nutter if I said anything though 🙄

I think for me it may be a control thing, people’s lack of courtesy for those around them winds me up so much I could punch someone perfectly nice without a second thought 😳

I have this and people who dont have it definitely dint get it.

Please dont try to cure a child with it but accept it and work around it.

Mine has been better or worse at various times. The worst is when you feel you cant escape it - on a crowded train/school/etc

My partner and kids found it helpful when I explained it isn't that I'm angry at them (although in the moment I am to be truthful...) but that its a sensory difference and a problem I have.

People hate being criticised or thought of as noisy eaters. It helps to say its you with misophonia, but that you need them to eat apples away from you. We dont have crisps in the car...

I have this but am also autistic and have general sensory issues that go along with it. The sheer rage that it triggers is baffling, and I don't know if anyone would ever understand if they didn't experience it. It isn't a logical thing or something you can just breathe through and release like ordinary anger. It makes you totally unable to hear anything else or respond to anything.

It also doesn't make me angry thinking about it like other things that annoy me can, it's just a sensory reaction. It must be some dormant thing that used to help us millenia ago? Fight or flight against a certain kind of trigger sound?

Luckily (?) I lead a very restricted life, especially since WFH this year, and my DH is very kind and understanding.

Oh my God, I have found my people.

I get it especially bad with snoring. I was fine when I was little, but when I was about twelve my parent's snoring began to more than grate on me. The rage I feel is terrifying, I could quite easily have gone in and screamed at them and probably did.
I also get it with people (my DF in particular for some reason) eating, smacking their lips, especially when chewing gum or eating a yoghurt. But weirdly, it's often only if I "tune in" to it - it can go on for a while without me noticing, but once I notice it's as if my ears "zoom in" on it and that's the only thing I can hear.

Oh, and like PPs, the people around me don't get it. I don't expect them to either - no matter how eloquently I can explain it, I could never explain the all-consuming rage!

I'll be making an appointment next week at the docs for audiology referral for my daughter, just had another text message and phone call because she's finding the classroom way too loud and can't concentrate. I absolutely do not want referral to camhs they just aren't helpful in my opinion. Dreading it because that'll probably be the first thing they suggest and you get the 'look' when you say you'd rather not 😒

Moondelay can you go via a paediatrician rather than cahms? I know OTs who specialise in sensory issues. They're experts on this kind of thing! (Often but not necessarily linked with autism or se sory processing disorder or other things, but even if not they've got the strategies for handling it all!)

My daughter has ear defenders and smaller ear plugs but also we know to avoid loud places. Oddly enough she struggles with discos/crowds etc (autistic) but not specifically eating sounds.

I'm not diagnosed with autism and don't hit classic criteria but do now wonder- I have really bad misophonia and gave my mum a complex about eating near me.

@Pineappleupsidedowncake (hope I got the name right!)
She's a teenager so I doubt it unfortunately. I don't know any other route to go down tbh. GP is first port of call I presumed. We've seen camhs before for other stuff and after the waiting, which I understand is usual, the issues are lessened or the help just isn't there. They advise cbt for just about everything or really can't help "unless is neurological" (we were pretty much told this exact thing)

She's close to leaving (next year in fact) so by the time an appointment is made she'll have left, getting through these last few months of school is important. She forgot her earplugs today 😑 being out and about isn't too bad, if at all, it's the noise level in class and the teachers "getting in your face" and making annoying noises.

She did have a pass to leave the class due to anxiety or being overwhelmed but because of Covid they can't leave the room. She's not a brat or spoilt or anything, doesn't kick up a fuss at school, just feels stuck and can't escape therefore can't concentrate, it's really hard at the moment.