For anyone who has moved closer to grandchildren

[Pennyblossoms1098]

Has anyone here moved house to be near children and grandchildren, which involved moving to a very different area? By different area it could mean from countryside to city, coast to inland, south to north and perhaps quite different housing prospects and lifestyle.

What were your experiences and was it worth the move to be near family, even if you are leaving behind a community and area you have been in for a very long time?

Hello there, can I ask why you're asking please? And welcome to Mumsnet!

We did this last year. Moved about a hundred miles or so. Exchanged a rural cottage with a large garden for a modern four bed detached with smaller garden. We had lived in our last house for twenty five years and had an established network of friends. Lots of volunteering activities, meeting friends, pilates, zumba etc. We were early retired.

It has been the best thing we've ever done. We hadn't realised how stale life had become and it has been wonderful to experience a different part of the country. Obviously this was before Covid. We see our daughter and son-in-law regularly and look after our grandson a couple of days a week. We have exchanged living in a small rural village to being half an hour from a major city. We can walk to the pubs, fish and chip shop, other shops, Post office, etc. and the bus stop is across the road. We are still in an outstandingly beautiful area with scenic walks on our doorstep.

We went into it with our eyes fully open. Although our daughter asked us to move nearer, we were prepared for the fact that once the novelty wore off we might not see that much of them. We look after our grandson a few days a week which is wonderful, and we do see a lot of them still. I love my house, all modern, easy to clean and really light. I still keep in touch with my old friends but am happy to have moved. It has been really good for us and shaken us out of a rut we didn't realise we were in.

We have been fortunate, our cottage sold quickly and easily and the purchase was straightforward. We have wonderful friendly neighbours and everyone we have met seems really laid back and nice.

We're both very capable, independent people but it gives me a great feeling of security that as the years go on and we get older we are near our only daughter. We both have loads of hobbies and interests too, my main one being gardening and growing stuff from seed. I now have to manage with a large cold frame rather than a greenhouse, but it's doable! So it has been the best thing ever - it's worked out so well for both of us. No regrets at all.

@DaphneduM

We did this last year. Moved about a hundred miles or so. Exchanged a rural cottage with a large garden for a modern four bed detached with smaller garden. We had lived in our last house for twenty five years and had an established network of friends. Lots of volunteering activities, meeting friends, pilates, zumba etc. We were early retired.

It has been the best thing we've ever done. We hadn't realised how stale life had become and it has been wonderful to experience a different part of the country. Obviously this was before Covid. We see our daughter and son-in-law regularly and look after our grandson a couple of days a week. We have exchanged living in a small rural village to being half an hour from a major city. We can walk to the pubs, fish and chip shop, other shops, Post office, etc. and the bus stop is across the road. We are still in an outstandingly beautiful area with scenic walks on our doorstep.

We went into it with our eyes fully open. Although our daughter asked us to move nearer, we were prepared for the fact that once the novelty wore off we might not see that much of them. We look after our grandson a few days a week which is wonderful, and we do see a lot of them still. I love my house, all modern, easy to clean and really light. I still keep in touch with my old friends but am happy to have moved. It has been really good for us and shaken us out of a rut we didn't realise we were in.

We have been fortunate, our cottage sold quickly and easily and the purchase was straightforward. We have wonderful friendly neighbours and everyone we have met seems really laid back and nice.

We're both very capable, independent people but it gives me a great feeling of security that as the years go on and we get older we are near our only daughter. We both have loads of hobbies and interests too, my main one being gardening and growing stuff from seed. I now have to manage with a large cold frame rather than a greenhouse, but it's doable! So it has been the best thing ever - it's worked out so well for both of us. No regrets at all.

This is really lovely to hear, thank you.

My uncle did this to be near his only daughter and family. But by the time he did his grand sons had almost out grown them and he did miss all of his many friends (many ex police force work colleagues) and his house and large garden. He moved to a bungalow which was a god send after his wife's dementia got worse. Both he and his wife were in quite poor health very quickly after moving. Wife has bad dementia and is now in a care home so he is on his own and whilst he says hello to new neighbours he doesn’t know them very well and he’s really lonely especially with covid. He sees his daughter once or twice a week and doesn’t really have any face to face interactions with anyone else. I don’t think its been quite the life they imagined but its been easier for their daughter to spend time with them both, support them and care for them as they are closer.

@FlibbertyGiblets

Hello there, can I ask why you're asking please? And welcome to Mumsnet!

This is the situation that we are now in. Our son has settled in a part of the country that is quite far from us. We love where we live and have been here for almost 40 years! We were lucky enough to inherit a beautiful old house, large and by the sea. We have lots of friends down here but our children have all moved away. We have a child abroad and if he does return, he has made it clear he will not come back to where we live. Our second is less settled and moves around a lot and we will always keep a spare room for him, but it does not need to be where we currently reside. There are not many jobs for our children's professions where we live. My husband and I are semi retired and any work we do is from home.

The area we would move to is the suburbs of a larger town. It is very multicultural and although there are some greener suburbs nearby, it is not the life we are used to and we would have a much smaller home.

For the last few years we have been struggling to decide what to do. We wanted to see where our children settled and enjoyed the idea of them coming to stay with us. However since our son had his first child over lockdown we have realised that even when this does happen it will be rare and may not be enough.

A pleasure. Is it something you might be considering PennyBlossom?
If you think of it as a whole it's a scary prospect - but it gains a momentum of its own, and then before your know it, it's done! In a weird way it was actually quite exciting, and we had a lot of laughs along the way. The scariest bit was transporting our two cats down the motorway on what was the hottest summer day on record!!!!

We thought we'd have trouble selling our cottage which was 17th century and although we'd done loads to it, was definitely an acquired taste!!! But that one couple was out there, looking for a complete lifestyle change from London, so we left it in good hands. They loved it and didn't quibble on all the inevitable survey stuff. So definitely meant to be.

Sorry, my post crossed with yours, PennyBlossom.

I can understand that it's a difficult decision to make. Your home sounds beautiful - it was always my husband's dream to have a house by the sea, but we never managed it.

Have you talked about it with your son? Do you have a good relationship with your daughter-in-law? Does she have her parents near her or not? How does your husband feel about it all? All things to weigh up and consider.

In our case my lovely son-in-law's mum has moved hundreds of miles to be nearer to them too. That has also worked out really well as she is also nearer to her daughter too -so she could achieve seeing both her children more with the one move. I think both getting older and also having a grandchild concentrates the mind, don't you? Feel free to PM me if you want a more in depth chat.

I know this is an old thread, but I was about to ask this question myself and would welcome more answers!

Try Gransnet. There have been a number of threads about moving areas/countries to be nearer children and grandchildren, the last couple of threads have served as a warning not to do it! Maybe people only post when things go wrong, but I think some are success stories.

Reviving this thread for more comments! We have one much loved grandchild at the other end of the country. The problem is they rent and will be moving again soon, but all within commuting distance of London. I really love to spend time with our grandchild but distance and the cost of travel prevent us seeing them very often . I am not happy where we are living now and don’t have any roots or friends here .