Save me from my boss's wellbeing ideas

[1stV45]

We are all in work and will continue to be throughout lockdown2, quite emotionally stressful work with distressed families.

Boss has recognised that staff will be feeling anxious and also probably hard done to and wants to do some wellbeing things. Her heart is absolutely in the right place.

However, her ideas so far fill me with dread:

• a wellbeing raffle whereby each staff member contributes a wellbeing gift. A bit like secret Santa but all wellbeing related gifts and not at Christmas. I have a number of objections, cost, hassle for staff, lots of stuff no one wants or needs.

• shared meals. Each staff member contributes a dish to share for a "special" lunch. Concerns here, hassle, cost, we're not supposed to be sharing food?

Boss is lovely and very enthusiastic about doing nice things, buying good presents etc but I think large numbers of staff (including me) will find this is one more stress/chore to add to their list. I think she also forgets she earns about 3x what many of our staff do!

Public sector so there's no money for us to pay for any treats.

So, I have lots of reasons I don't like it but I don't have any better suggestions. Can you help?

I should have said Secret Santa is a given, no negotiation on that one. At our meeting today someone tried to suggest giving to a foodbank instead. Boss agreed that staff should do that but not instead of secret santa!

We have "wellbeing hour" - essentially every member of staff has an hour per week (of work time) to use how they like in a way which will help them get away from it all for a bit and refresh. Ideas so far have been to go for a walk, read a book, socially distanced coffee with a friend, extra long lunch. You don't have to stick to the same activity each week, although you can't just use it to go home an hour early! Might be an idea to sell to your boss as it achieves what she is aiming for but it recognises everyone is different and different things help everyone rather than "enforced fun", and no extra effort involved on anyones part. It can be a bit hard in a busy team, but seniors visibly taking theirs and talking about it and asking others how they have been using them helps create the environment in which people feel happy to take.

We've been given an extra days holiday in lieu of our usual Christmas party. That was very well received - far more so than the suggestion we all eat lunch together, over Zoom whilst WFH. That gave me the heebie jeebies.

I feel so low at the moment I just don't want to know - I work in the NHS and we are so busy at the moment and inundated with crap that if one more person talks to me about mindfulness I will literally scream my head off.
I'm not "living for the moment" I'm living for retirement.

What's a 'wellbeing gift'? Is it like a face mask and some Zoflora?

@allthewaterinthetap

What's a 'wellbeing gift'? Is it like a face mask and some Zoflora?

Yes, basically.

@MorgenMuffel your idea is exactly what I would want

With the shops closing secret Santa is going to be a huge PITA - once you add on postage for this sort of thing it gets expensive for what’s supposed to be a cheap present.

It's not cheap, it's £20!!

I don't know maybe I'm an old misery guts but none of this will help my wellbeing!

I've suggested extra time off but boss wants to do something together.

Will that £20 put some people under minimum wage?

Have some staff got partners who've lost their jobs and who will struggle to buy a £20 gift?

So your boss thinks it will improve wellbeing for YOU all to spend money on crap no one wants - great.

I bloody hate this kindo f crap. The best wellbeing gift you can give is time. Can he grant even a half day or an hour's early finish? Wait until you are offered rm chair yoga or an origami tuition session though....

£20 is a lot for secret Santa! Can you gently point that out?

It sounds like your manager is hell bent on a team activity. It it possible to maybe suggest some sort of outdoor walk together (you can all me mindful while you do it ).

@noideaatallreally I was thinking cringeworthy group yoga is on the cards here too.

TBF she does often suggest knocking off early, especially when it's been a traumatic day but she wants to "do" something.

She knows how I feel but she thinks I'm the grumpy minority and it's not making me look good to keep knocking down her ideas, especially as I have nothing better to offer.

You laugh but we have done yoga in the past. And sound baths!

We have a half hour meeting where someone shares an inspirational video (max 15mins) or article on any topic. Then we spend 15 mins chatting about it. I was not keen when it was suggested but it has been brilliant.

Mainly successful because everyone takes turns and we rapidly stopped doing ones directly related to work. We have had one about the creative process, one about teaching, one about tigers, one about a celebration common in a small country one of our colleagues comes from. This will out me to anyone who works with me!

The randomness of it works well. When it was last my turn to choose I searched up a key word on TED talks and picked one of the appropriate length with a good rating and blurb I liked. Took me like 10mins to choose. Totally free too of course.

I was worried when I read your title as I'm always trying to do wellbeing stuff for my team in the public sector! Luckily I havent come up with any ideas like that. We just spend time together (virtually) and do things like games or have a tea break together. Secret Santa is a fiver from charity shops or homemade (but I haven't thought about this year yet), although last year we did adopt a donkey for an extra fiver each. Maybe just let your boss know you really appreciate the sentiment, but would prefer something simpler?

Op, you are not being an old misery guts - these are really awful ideas she's come up with.

@1stV45 work yoga is hideous. I don’t want to see John from accounts in his tight yoga shorts.

How about making Christmas decorations together - old school style - Sticky paper chains etc.

Well if they insist - maybe suggest something like a quiz? Who is the celebrity behind the santa beard type thing - still a bit cringey but relatively painless - and no where near as soul destroying as enforced yoga. Maybe with a contribution of a couple of £ each for a prize for the winner?

These things so often have the opposite effect than intended. I think you've really got to know your staff. A school near mine recently hired in a couple of beauticians for the day and based them in the staffroom to do manicures/facials for staff at lunch, break etc. Not great for social distancing, and not great if that's your idea of hell!
IME, most staff just appreciate a reduction in workload and some words of genuine thanks for their contribution to everything we're doing as a team.

Our management seem obsessed with these things & some of the personnel staff got an award for coming up with more of them. Quizzes, pictures of pets competitions, zoom chats. It’s awful and most of us are too busy to do any of it. The worst was the other day when I needed someone in admin to do their job but they were in a wellness course for the day and no one else had any capacity to do it. The upshot of her wellness course was me having to do her job as well as my own. I suppose it worked for her as she didn’t have to work. Sadly there’s no one to do my job if I go on one of these courses so I’ll have to stay bitter and twisted.

Just before I retired our boss had everyone bring in a baby picture and they were assigned a number and posted on the staff bulletin board.
Everyone turned in a numbered list guessing who each picture was. The person with the most correct guesses got a surprise gift - a picture frame - and their picture was labelled "WINNER" for a week.
We also did cook-offs. Cook at home, bring it in and have it judged.
Chili cookoff - prize was an apron.
Cookie bakeoff - Prize was a cookbook.
Not everyone brought a dish, but everyone was allowed to judge and vote for their favorite.
Maybe something like that?

Just find an article about, for example, the role of plants and connecting with nature in reducing stress and get some volunteers to bring in some plants/pebbles/ whatever new age trend you want that’s easy to do and doesn’t cost much/any money

If she likes the idea of the food bank, perhaps “as a team”, you could do a reverse advent calendar for the local food bank? The idea is that you put aside an item each day and donate it all at the end of November. Among a team, that wouldn’t be too many items to find/add to the weekly shop either.