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Struggling

6 replies

Councilpopmom · 03/11/2020 13:28

As a single mother too three beautiful children you think life would be great but it's far from it.... I've decided to put my thoughts down in a chat hope for helpful advice or for people to just relate and tell me I'm not alone....

I lost my mother 5 years ago and since then life has just been bad luck after bad luck and I've lost the one and only person I could ever talk too..

If losing my mom wasn't bad enough I then lost my house being made homeless with my then 2 children having to live 9 months in a travel lodge not being able to cook and feed my kids proper food washing the clothes in a bath traveling 6 hour round trip on buses to keep my kids in school was not what I wanted for my children they deserve so much better but 5 years down the line I seem to fine myself back at square one..... after getting myself into private renting last year my landlord was going to kick me and my three children out because I needed repairs done and he didn't want the hassle....but I bed him to change his mind to be now told he is thinking about selling his house as he and his wife have lost their jobs.....I can't take much more I'm already living in poor living situations my bath leaks through to the kitchen ceiling so I now can't have my heating on at night because I have to turn the water of to stop the leaks the Windows are all cracked there's damp in my living room the back door leaks when it rains my front door isn't secure... the fascia at the top of the house is loose so it bang when its windy really loud I can't decorate because of all the fault that need fixing I hate How I live ..... but I've been scared to say anything because if fear for losing the house so I just put up.... as I don't have money for deposits and guarantees.... the council don't do anything till the day I'm evicted and then where do I put my stuff???? I just don't know what to do or where I stand I'm constantly fighting a losing battle..... I look at my three children 11.9 and 2 next month and no matter what they go through they are so beautiful smart and so so clever.... I look at them and constAntly think they deserve better they deserve......better then me and I thank them because if it wasn't for them I know I wouldn't be here now that's a certainty..... I don't work since my last baby was born but don't judge me for that I've worked all my life and I'd love nothing more then to get back to work..... financial stability and adult conversation.... but there's nothing there right now,I look and look.... for for now it's universal credit but that doesn't cover everything as many of u would know the ice this year I've had to get help from the food bank which is so disheartening on your self judgement but we are so lucky these places exists to help.... my gas and electricity is alway on emergency and never has more then two pounds on..... constantly moaning at the kids to turn things of or they can't do something because your trying not to use the electric fast.... it's not their fault they should be able to do as they like (within reason).

I just don't know anymore the thought of Christmas its breaking my heart and my baby is two next month lucky for me she prefers to play with the boxes.......if I don't laugh I'll cry and ill worry I'll never stop.it's seriously not nice to not know when your next meal is coming or not being able to give your children all the fruit and veg they need because a frozen pizza is a cheaper meal.....
I have not done this chat for symphathy or nasty comments I already hate myself..... I've done it to vent because if I don't I'll burst I mean they are only a few of my many many problems but I thought I'd start small....Just looking for a virtual ear to listen and that feeling I'm not alone

OP posts:
lazylump72 · 03/11/2020 18:47

I am really sorry OP ..I listened and heard every word. Tell you what I heard...you are a fantastic,strong woman who has kids who love her totally ..it just shines through. When it rains in life it really rains I have found and you seem to be in the middle of a right storm.Now I know you arent going to believe me but this storm will not last.I would suggest you have a chat to womens aid ..they have a free phone number to their help line and have a chat with them.They may be able to point you in directions you havent even thought of and it could be a great help to you and your kids.i also know if you can sort out somewhere else decent tolive then there are grants to help you with deposits and moving fees especially during the covid pandemic..check universal credit see what you can find.I know you are upset about loosing your home but it sounds awful really awful and maybe with some solid support behind you could even be social services to help with the lliving conditions.loosing your home could be the best thing thats ever happened to you...you can only go up from here.But you do need some guidance and support ..use the services on offer thats what they are there for ...it wont get better next week but it will get better one day for you. Hand your problems over to the experts ask for help and let them help you...I know many people are scared of social services etc but its not all doom and gloom they can be a fantastic help and support ...I wouldnt hesitate to ring them and ask if someone could speak to you...You need someone who is knowledgable and womens aid are fantastic its free and they listen and dont judge and comeup with a plan to help you just ask. You sound like you are doing an amazing job in terrible circumstances to me keep going stay as strong as you are ..your kids will thank you for doing so and they really need their mum..get on the phone ask for help and let them guide you forward...you have nothing to loose by reaching out....I wish you and your family well...xx

Councilpopmom · 03/11/2020 20:02

Thank u so much for your kind words its just so hard to find the light at the end of the tunnel.... I agree that a new house would be so go as the state of this house is awful but it's just finding the funds to do so the council only see to want to do anything the day I have to leave and as I've been homeless before its an awful thought.... and universal credit are no help but I will definitely give woman's aid a try I didn't know about them so thank u so much for the point in the right direction... I just look for the day where at least once there isn't something to worry about.... Thank u for reaching out it means more then u will ever know xxxx

OP posts:
RedShark · 03/11/2020 20:08

Not much practical support but just wanted to send you some love and strength. Take one day at a time, sometimes the bigger picture can be too overwhelming. You are strong and you will always find happiness in your children even on dark days. Speak to your local council about helping with the first months rent and deposit on a better suited private rented house, it’s something they provide in my city due to the lack of social housing.
You’ve got this x

FastAndCurious · 03/11/2020 20:14

I just wanted to send you a massive hug, it’s clear you’re an incredible mum and you’re doing your best.

Please speak to Shelter and get your name on the council list. I know it’s not a quick process until you are actually homeless but register now and keep bidding.

You will get there OP Flowers

Councilpopmom · 03/11/2020 20:29

Thank u so much I will be making a few calls tomo fingers crossed I'll get all the information and help I need to get me on the right path cxxx

OP posts:
TCMcK · 03/11/2020 20:45

Hi, just wanted to send you lots of hugs. Would your youngest be entitled to free childcare once they turn 2? You maybe able to get a part time job? Or can school help? I work in a primary school & we are giving out free food packages at the moment. Also the house that you are renting at the moment could you get your deposit back & look for somewhere else?

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