Teen girl's diet - please help!

[AlaskaBird]

I don't know if I'm over-reacting, worrying too much or if I should be more concerned.

DD is 15, 16 in January, generally happy and healthy. However, her eating habits are worrying me. She knows all about 'healthy eating' yet she will buy and gorge on sweets and cakes at any opportunity. She also buys Red Bull although I've asked her not to and told her it's bad for you and can affect sleep,, etc. I make a good, healthy dinner for her (she is also vegetarian) and she often leaves most of it and then tries to grab chocolate biscuits ten minutes later (I suspect because she's not properly hungry for dinner as she's snacked so much).
Also, she never eats breakfast and her lunch is a mishmash as the school food is not great (she won't take a lunchbox although I keep offering).

I've spoken to her (at length, I'm afraid) about being healthy etc but I've just found an empty can of Monster, Red Bull and an empty pack of cakes on her shelf

What can I do? She buys stuff after school and I can't monitor that - I've already massively cut down on what junk food we have in the house and there are always healthy options here such as fruit.

Any advice or empathy welcome!!!

Bump

Stop having biscuits and snacks in the house would be a good starting point and backing off a bit might be a good second.

She'll be in six form an out to university in no time at all. Then she'll probably live on vodka, left over pizza, a tub of hummus and some fruit if you do her an online supermarket delivery. They survive.

I never eat breakfast - intermittent fasting periods are a good way to maintain healthy blood sugar and prevent insulin intolerance. My children rarely eat breakfast either and are perfectly healthy.

Have healthy stuff readily available to snack on but remember there are many more important things to worry about and she could be doing far worse. If she's a reasonable size and her teeth are OK, let her be.

Thanks cherrypavlova
I need to hear things like that! I just want to send her off into the world with a healthy base, if that makes sense. I still have three years before she goes (sniff!) and I don't want to see her overweight (like me) (I haven't ever said anything about weight, of course) and with rotting teeth!!

My DD is a couple of years older than yours and seems to have similar eating habits.

She does like most fruit and veg though, it's just that it's easier for her to go and grab some sweets from her blazer pocket than to make a sandwich or peel a carrot. She's basically just lazy and she's slim so she has zero motivation to eat healthily.

I usually make her some fruit sallad or cut up some veggie sticks with hummus in the evenings when we're watching TV and she will eat the whole thing in no time. She wouldn't dream of making it herself though.

I'm hoping its something she will grow out of, I know I did, and that some of the good things I make her will be stuff that she will make for herself later on in the future.

My household when DD was a teen was just the two of us and I recall a similar phase where she would eat rubbish outside the home. I would say lead by example - I don't ever buy (and didn't then) junk food - instead plenty of nice stuff that was always available. I think at university DD really started to think for herself, cooking proper food, budgeting on her loan and so any spare cash went on nights out rather than sweets. Plus her skin/teeth started to be very important. I would say really don't worry too much - DD is 23 and back living at home, and eats a virtually perfect diet, such that I feel quite guilty with my odd unhealthy snack.

Thank you so much everyone - you had no idea how these replies are making me feel better!

*have

You need to not have chocolate biscuits available for her to grab after dinner!

Sounds like she's addicted to sugar (as many people are).
If she's craving the sugar for energy (even if she didn't realise that's why) she may actually need more protein. Especially if she's a veggie, she may not be getting enough. This happened to me when I became a veggie at 15. Always wanted sugar and no amount of fruit of vig satisfied the craving. I went back to meat eating in the end and my need for sugar went right down. I appreciate this may not be a solution for your daughter but just an idea of what could be causing it.

I think this is normal, she'll grow out of it.

Do you have regular, structured mealtimes? Do you all eat together round the table as a family?

I think providing the routine of healthy family meals is the most important thing. The food is regular and just a normal part of the family day. Let her see you eat in a structured way, enjoying biscuits etc in moderation. All you can do is model the right way to do it, don't let food become a battleground. It's very normal for teenagers, once they have a bit of independence, to go a bit overboard, but they self-correct.

Can you get her more involved in your family meals? Have her cook the family dinner once a week, plan it out so she becomes part of the process too. Ask her what dinners she really likes and start making them more. Make sure she gets a good amount of protein at mealtimes so that she stays full for longer.

How is she buying energy drinks! I got ID a few weeks ago at 42 while wearing a mask. Can you report the shop?

I wouldn't stress too much, I used to live off crisps, chocolate bars and biscuits, because it was easy as a lazy teen! Now I try to eat my 10 a day. People tend to get there on their own.

iceniwarrior as far as I know energy drinks can be sold to over 12's.

The ban for under 16's was 'voluntary' on the part of shops, as far as I can tell.

sexnotgender you're absolutely right.

ellovera I wish so much that she'd eat meat again. It would make my life much easier! But it's her choice and it's been two years now.

joey the DC's don't like eating altogether anymore so sadly family meals have fallen by the wayside. I try to get us together twice a week, even if one of those times is pizza and a movie!

@AlaskaBird

joey the DC's don't like eating altogether anymore so sadly family meals have fallen by the wayside. I try to get us together twice a week, even if one of those times is pizza and a movie!

We’re really strict and enforce family meal times

I think it’s really important to all sit down together once a day as otherwise we’d probably never see our teenager.
We also ban tech at the table.

@AlaskaBird

ellovera I wish so much that she'd eat meat again. It would make my life much easier! But it's her choice and it's been two years now.

I'm vegetarian now, but wasn't at 16.

Healthy diet at home, mum used to make amazing sandwiches, really nice (healthy, but tasty) and I used to swap them with my friend who didn't eat a healthy diet at home but brought cheap white bread marmite sandwiches YUM 🤣

Then the following year the tuck shop used to sell sweets & another friend & I would have sweets for lunch. Just sweets - same ones every day. Black & Reds.

Honestly try not to stress or bang in about it. Provide nutritious food at home, lead by example & try to lead
By example with exercise too and then let her crack on with it.

15 yo eats school lunch (& dinner most days) - day pupils at boarding so can choose to & her friend does) but I know they also eat sweets from tuc.

Both as skinny as rakes, but I know that doesn't mean healthy! But they are both fit and I'm sure they'll grow out of the 'sweets' thing, just as I did.

& nothing to do with being vegetarian (as I wasn't until years later!)

@AlaskaBird

joey the DC's don't like eating altogether anymore so sadly family meals have fallen by the wayside. I try to get us together twice a week, even if one of those times is pizza and a movie!

Why don't your kids like eating together?

Mind you, I don't suppose I 'liked' eating with my brothers at her age either, but not doing so wasn't an option. Not even something that occurred to me to do anything about. Dinner time was dinner time.

I'd limit junk at home to reduce exposure as others have said.

Lead by example. I would also work in family meals. We've always eaten together with no phones. Maybe start off a few times a week.

I was a veggie from age 11 and was fine. What helped me was being bought a veggie cook book and experimenting. Given the kitchen and budget to produce something.

Homemade pizzas are easy to make, and good enough the following day.

If her friends are similar however, it will be hard to change unless you can somehow take them all on the journey.

Is she getting enough protein?

Aside from that, like pp said, I'd keep on producing the healthy meals because that will all be sinking in at some level and will emerge later on when you least expect it, and capitalise on teen languor and "accidentally" have fruit platters and veg crudités wirh a dip lying around (peeled, sliced, lemon-juiced) on kitchen surfaces, in fridge, anywhere she passes through. Also lots of healthy snacks for fridge raiding at night/heating up in microwave. (First principles of animal training as it happens; make the hard things easy and the easy things hard" . ). Anyhow it seems to go down better if they "discover" it themselves rather than you offering it.

Thank you all again
Loads of good ideas! I've actually made a list (I like lists .)
I feel much more positive about it all.