When and how did I become a failure at work? Are other single mums getting it right?

[Doyoumind]

I used to have a fairly successful career and be well respected. Now I am not even perceived as being good at the things I once shone at.

I can't put my finger on whether it's because I gave my all early in my career and don't have the drive left, I am a single mum and juggling work and home means I can't go the extra mile anymore, my motivation is impacted by earning 80% of what I used to earn and it isn't covid related - it's related to it being almost impossible to get a decent job in my kind of role as single mum, or if it's the effect of Covid and lockdown on my head.

It's probably all of the above. Having a pity party.

Tell me how you manage to have a successful career whilst being a single mum to primary age DC when you can't currently outsource childcare to family or others. I feel like I have so much less time in the day than I used to have.

Can't help because i am in the same place, but can offer sympathy. I was the one with the better career, had DCs, went back to work full time each time, DH managed less and less and now has moved out, takes the kids for less than one day a week. At work I am officially a clock watcher due to childcare and just being so TIRED, both from lack of sleep and from being in charge of people and decisions for almost every waking moment of my day. I am almost certainly due to go in the next round of redundancies and can't see any other options within 70% of what I used to earn, or that would allow for the part time hours that would let me be a decent parent too.

It was much easier before when I had a nanny, but even with a good income that wasn't manageable for me when I also had to take over the mortgage.

So depressing. My one hope for a silver lining from all this is that if I do things right my DD might do better in her choice of partner. My husband is a good man in many ways, but in hindsight was never able to share the workload enough for me to have a good career.

Sorry not to have a great answer! It's hard, and you're a trooper.

I know times are hard for everyone and I'm lucky to have a job but being solely responsible for everything is just so draining isn't it? I've been single for a long while so I'm used to it. The current situation has just made a difficult life more so.

I'm not the only parent at work but I am the only mother and it does single me out when I have to admit to working things around DC.

I hope you don't get made redundant Rubicon. You also have my sympathy.