How do you cope with someone's jealousy and resentment of people because they have something you don't?
I have met a mum through my daughter over 3 years ago, we have become very friendly and I would say rather close. We talked about having seconds and wouldn't it be nice to have them same time but I wasn't too bothered by the same timing thing, I said I was going to start at the end of 2019 as I would like to enjoy the easier time with my daughter as she got a bit more independent. The friend got pregnant end of spring last year bad sadly she had stillbirth in February this year. We were all heartbroken and I was there for her to support with anything she needs, especially that we live walking distance to each other. Me and husband kept trying for our baby and eventually after 6 months we've conceived in April. I didn't know how to tell her and waited as long as I could and then very gently and almost apologetically broke the news to her when my bump started to really show. It has been hard since the. and she considered not to see me anymore etc which I completely understood and said whatever you need to feel better. However we continued to meet up as were friends so are our daughters. Our daughters have started school in September together and are best friends. However mum's behaviour to me turned quite bitter, she has been trying to make new friends with our school mums which is great but she is trying to push me out from any such new friendships. She has been very cold to me at the school gate, behaves like she doesn't know me, when I tried to come up and talk she would turn away and stare in the distance, arranges things with people quietly without ever mentioning it to me. One episode was particularly painful when I've invited her and other mum and our daughters to go to the playground after school. She just stood beside looking away and simply said isn't it illegal - her husband was there too so it would make more than 6 people. A few times after such cold treatment I drove home crying even considering to switch schools as I can't bare to be treated like this. I have phoned her up to ask why is she being so awful to me and she denied having a problem but texted later to say that my pregnancy is torture for her to deal with, for her and her family, that she has to "deal" with me being at the same school, and earlier she mentioned that she is very resentful as "I am going to have the life she was meant to have". Now I understand all that and feel for her but is it fair to treat someone with such hate for something that isn't their fault? I am also very sensitive in my pregnancy and negativity brings me down big time.
When she was pregnant she was a total mess, regretting getting pregnant, had massive gender disappointment to the point of not wanting to do anything with the child and I was there all the time to talk and support her through the hormonal rollercoaster.
I don't have many friends in the area as quite new here 3 years ago and by the time we moved I had no time for any toddler clubs as was working, I was also hoping to make some new mum friends at new school but find myself avoiding mums as she usually chats with most of them, so I just avoid her really, put my head down and walk past. I am foreign as well so don't have much confidence coming up to new people and starting a chat anyway, so basically feel banished and keep asking myself what have I done, but also I know it's not my fault and I need to carry on but just don't know how to stop being so upset because of it. I've had anxiety over this, not being able to sleep and it's being made by our girls only wanting to play with each and keep asking for playdates. Me and that friend don't talk now I removed her from my social media but it didn't help as I still have to see her at school.