No purpose anymore. So lonely.

[Floradoras]

Just feel so lonely. I used to be with my best friend every school run. Walking. Chatting. The odd other mum would join us and we all walked together. Then I got poorly in February. I had to let my partner take over the school runs. Then lockdown happened.

Im having long-term gynocology issues and I just don't feel well alot of the time. I'm going through all the hoops to get sorted. But currently seem to have a hormone imbalance. Possibly have a cyst causing pain and spotting, but not had a scan since February.im Anemic and just suffering from headaches bad periods and nausea alot.

Since march I've been muddling through. Started pushing myself in July to get walking again with the kids. But I'm still not up to the hour twice a day school runs. I just can't predict how I'll feel. So my partner has been taking DD in the car. Also due to covid we have to go further to a different gate and it just saves DD legs. I tend to get my toddler sorted whilst he takes her to school then we go for walks and stuff. Which is nice. But it's always on our own. It's a good job oh is working home.

Due to the above I struggle to make regular plans with anyone. So I've basically ended up alone alot. I occasionally see my friend. I have a couple of friends who live an hour away that I message most days too. I've not had much success with the school mums. Infact I feel abit out of all that, as my friend has got to know them to chat to over the summer when her child did the last term in bubbles. I see them liking her Facebook posts and I know it sounds jealous but I feel left out . 2 of them added me but don't ever like anything I put up, I think they added me because they talk to my best friend. I've tried to mix with them. I donated money to one of the ladies go fund me etc. I've chatted to her abit at the gates before covid too. Another school mum messages me sometimes, but I've not seen her since covid! So I feel like that ships sailed. She's mentioned meeting a couple of times over the summer but nothing ever came of it. We got on great last year. I had her DD for her when she was in labour. But I think she's also now closer to my friend because they've continued to walk home and stuff together.

I've got family. My parents are up the road. They never visit. They never invite us up. It's down to me to chase. My sister and her kids live about three miles away. She will find ways to go to my mum's but never arranges to see me.

I sound unlikeable don't I! I don't think I am though, I think I just ended up in a rut because I've not been well.

I look ahead now and see nothing in terms of me living. I am a mum. A girlfriend. But that's it. I can't even work because I'm so up and down.

I'm 31 and I am embarrassed by my dull life. How have I ended up with no friends, no plans, no energy and no life in general. I just want to be able to take my child to school and be a part of things.

I've tried so hard over the summer to recover but I'm not getting any better. What if this is my life now?

Life is sad at the moment, there is so much negativity. I know you feel lonely but I would think that you have a wonderful bond with your children, especially the toddler. Please don't give up, you and your family need your positivity and you need theirs. Stay strong.

You're not unlikeable.you are a good person who had been going through a truly rubbish time. Well done for all you have done for yourself and your family. Keep going. Don't let pride stop you from telling your friends how you feel. They most likely will understand and give you the support you so need. Sending much love and hope you can begin to rebuild even in a difficult time.

Oh lovely, that sounds so hard. No wonder you feel lonely. Your health issues need addressing so that you can get back to some normality. Are you waiting for a scan? Could you afford to go privately for one? I think it's about £250/270 for a private MRI around here.

Don't be afraid to reach out for support. Some people don't like to offer help incase it's not welcome, but frankly your parents have no excuse. The thought of ignoring a child of mine while she suffers ill health and loneliness - well it just wouldn't happen, and I'm sure that goes for the vast majority of parents.

You don't sound unlikeable at all, you sound like a lovely person going through a very tough time. My advice would be to chase up your GP, consider going privately for a scan, stay away from social media, It won't do your mental health any good, reach out to a few people to say it would be good to see them and you're finding things tough at the moment. Same goes for your parents and sister.

Keep in mind this will pass. This is a chapter of your life, not the book. I'm nearly 60 and have had my share of ups and downs, some that seemed insurmountable at the time, but they do pass believe me. It's during the tough times that we grow.