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Nasty 19 year old

27 replies

chatnicknameyousuggested · 28/10/2020 23:08

DS is in his second year at uni and lives at home with me and DD.
He is SO nasty and disrespectful to me.
I have reasoned, I have shouted, I have been nasty back, I am ashamed to say... he is OK for a few days then back to nasty again.
I am so tired.
He is lazy in his studies but can be helpful at home.
It's just the constant disrepect, screaming at me when I go into his room, calling me a liar, saying I must be a disgrace in my job because I get angry with him.
I admit I get so angry with him. It's just constant nastiness. This will be the third month I am not giving him an allowance, and he is raging in his room. It's not right but the only thing I have is control over money. I have begged and pleaded, but he is still nasty.
Is this still part of being a teenager at 19? Have I created a monster?
We are not in the UK, so he can't work oe leave home.
I just feel so alone.

OP posts:
movingonup20 · 29/10/2020 07:53

I have older teens and a child at university who lived at home and the rows were bad. I had to intervene in her room to stop it being a health hazard for the rest of us (plus I needed to harvest mugs). My dd actually moved out and has grown up a lot now but 19 was hard. My dd has mental health issues diagnosed

WankPuffins · 29/10/2020 08:01

I have an 18 year old Ds. Not at uni yet, but in year 13.

I would lose my shit if he treated me like that, just as I would of any other adult was disrespectful to me in my home.

I do a lot for my Ds and I give him an allowance (he’s trying to find a part time job anywhere but there seems to be nothing or hundreds going for the same job). I do a lot for him still but he does a lot for me too and is kind and helpful so I don’t mind.

I treat him like an adult though. If he doesn’t do his college work, tough shit. He’s learned that there are consequences. I can’t hold his hand anyMore on that.

Is your Ds smoking weed? People can
Minimise the effect it has. I work in mental health and it can really effect some people badly.

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