How you know when someone is a good mum

[BabyLlamaZen]

I've had one of those days where I've felt hideous and exhausted, lost my tether a million times, felt completely inattentive and felt sorry for ds for having me as his mum. So much mum guilt!

I think it's easy to be really hard on yourself as a mum but see the good in others.

So let's try and support other mums.

For example I know my friend is a good mum as I see how much thought she puts into everything she does with her kids and how much she constantly does with them. That's why she's run ragged. She's always telling us what she's tried to do with them.

What have you seen and who do you think is a good mum?

As a non-mum, it amazes me how mums are managing to stay sane during this pandemic. My colleagues who have young children seem to be juggling 100 balls and managing somehow to keep them in the air - hats off to them!

When the children are well mannered, happy and healthy.

@TurkMama mental and physical health issues, especially the latter, are not the result of poor parenting.

I am guessing you somewhat flippantly made that comment, but please think about how awful it is for parents of ill children, how much guilt they carry anyway...

That my children come to me through good and bad. That they're not afraid to tell me what's wrong even if they did something stupid.

We've had a rubbishy, bickering, nothingy day... but they're snuggled up on the sofa with me under a blanket, feeling secure and loved.

That matters more than fancy days out and instagram worthy activities.

I think good mums are the ones who can be calm, have an open mind, and be objective about your child.

@pastandpresent

I think good mums are the ones who can be calm, have an open mind, and be objective about your child.

Well mine are buggered then.

I honestly think the best parents I know are those who are just generally good, nice and thoughtful people - that tends to rub off on the kids. When I see people being really judgemental and unpleasant about other people's parenting decisions (which I see a lot more on MN than in real life!) I always think that having a parent who is unpleasant and lacks empathy is much worse for a child than being sleep trained/drinking fruit shoots/playing Fortnite/being weaned too early or too late/whatever else the person in question thinks proves that their parenting is 'better'.

Maybe the pp meant 'healthy' as in a balanced diet, exercise & fresh air (if able)

Im sure it was well meant.

I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way @bumper. I meant as @pumpup said, good diet, good hygiene, teeth and feet looked after, nits sorted out asap and checked, skin problems tended to not neglected. I meant the things within mortal parent's control. There are always exceptions i'm sure eg struggle to brush teeth due to jaw problems or autism. It's just my general markers for a good job and what I felt my mum failed to do so i guess im measuring it by my experience and felt we lacked (as in me and my siblings).

That my child is treated but not spoilt. She is a very fortunate and lucky girl but she is always so grateful for everything she receives. That makes me proud.