The dangers of social media

[BlueOceanWave]

The Internet and social media was mainly a huge positive for many, many peoplem. There are many people who use it organically.

However I can see a downside to it too.

I witnessed someone have a meltdown online and it wasn't the first time. These meltdowns are in view of the public because of the nature of the person. The worse thing is the meltdowns are encouraged and legitimatised by her followers and there's no nudge towards getting help and then it continues.

A scenario and a more personal scenario:
I have a sister and she is estranged from the family. Signs point to the possibility of bpd with her or some other disorder. She was over sensitive and overly dramatic and she cut herself off from the family but she's not able to deal with any of this and the hatred against the family is intense, prolonged and ongoing.

On another forum I frequent and its more local, there's a profile that is 100% hers. I had a look at the posting history and so far to date it's mainly coronavirus postings.

My sisters abuse to the family is on and off. There might be a few weeks where there's a quite spell, then she raises her head again. She doesn't come home and makes a physical appearance. It's all done online. Like she sent forest messages to my brother last week circling old rows, another fresh threat of 'so long as you continue to cunts to me, I will continue to be a bitch'. Follow by an ad set up on a gay dating website with his name and number.
Then she moved onto me for the weekend with a new fake Facebook profile to send me loads of messages on the messenger and new fresh threats of contacting my employer.

She said we are all dead to her but she won't leave us alone. We are generally ignoring her and the abuse and harassment and getting on with our lives. Out of no where she explodes again. Something must of triggered her in her surroundings to revert back onto the family at home.

I found a new thread from my sister to along with last week's abuse from her.

It's titled gas-lighting.

She wrote:
Does anyone have experience of being gaslighted?
Horrible behaviour thrown at you + when you point out how hurtful + nasty their behaviour is they make up excuses that don't make sense + no genuine apology. Or an apology but no change in the behaviour. Then if you react badly at all, they blame your reaction + turn it around on you. What's wrong with these people?
---------

I would be nearly sure she is referring to the family. This is the way she usually posts in her messages to us. Reversing to old rows and demanding for explanations and apologies. It is her and she is referring to the family.

No body in the family set out to fall out with her. Two of us did apologise to her and she flung our apologies back into our faces. She didn't want them. The others have nothing to apologise for. Like a brother who's working abroad. He did nothing but work and live abroad and if she's looking for apologies for making something of his life, she will be a long time waiting.

The post was never written from a point of wanting to heal and over come her troubles with is evident from the last line - what's wrong with this people?

Now her readers who don't really know her and I can't really blame them, and they are taking the term at face value but she is being fed. She's getting a new stick to swing at us with her armchair diagnosis of psychopaths. Another reply came - you should continue to call them out on it - (giving her a license to continue her abuse and harassment).

Of course she failed to say what her true reaction was and there was a lot I could write a book. She has also failed to say that her gas lighting abusers is not physically in her life any more and she's really free from them.

If we are so bad like what she's saying, you would think she would be happy that she is free from us.


So anyways the Internet is a good place for the most part and it does help many people who are genuinely seeking help when they go on forums but there is a bad side where they are fed.

[BlueOceanWave]

I reported the post I read yesterday on the online forum to the mods and sites administrators.

I explained I suspect I know the person and user who wrote the original post. I also reported abusive PMs that was sent from the same poster last week.

I explained the situation and the harassment the family received. I also explained that I feel the post is not written from a perspective of wanting to heal and overcome her troubles and its written with a particular narrative in order to receive support for her particular narrative. I also wrote it will be used as another stick when she receives her armchair diagnosis of the having psychopaths in her life.

I also explained that she had some profiles before and she was banned many times before.

I got a reply back earlier to say they looked into it and can't find anything wrong and they looked at the PMs she sent and although the tone was hostile there was no directs threats or insults towards me and therefore its not abusive and not worthy of a ban.

I feel sickened how they are facilitating an abusive user.

I read the post yesterday and I suspect it will be used to hammer out another stick to the family. I got a call earlier from my brother to say he got more messages from her over night, over and over and over and over again circulating all her problems on the family and demanding for explanations and apologies and amends while also dishing out the insults and the threats. She's living life believing everyone that was in her life is horrible without looking at herself.

[NameChange84]

I really don’t think you should be posting all of this on here. It sounds like you are doing similar surely? And it would be very easy to Google from this thread given your identifying info and know the user’s confidential psychiatric history.

Harassment is illegal. Report to the police. They will advise you not to write identifying posts about your sister too as she could easily come back and accuse you of the same. But definitely print all your evidence off, keep a log of all the events and ring 101 and ask to set up an appointment with an officer to officially complain.

[BlueOceanWave]

I'm not the doing the same as her and definitely not the same motives. She's didn't write from a place of wanting to heal and overcome her troubles which is evident by the last line which is a question she posed to the readers - what's wrong with these people? Referring to her abuser. She wanted an armchair chair diagnoses to probably use as another stick for more new reactions/hatred campaign that she comcealed from her reader.

I'm writing from a genuine place and one of needing help. We are all at breaking point at home. There's so much stress from her recent round of dirt. I'm not looking for an armchair diagnosis from her and that'd a difference. A lot of the recent round of rubbish is going into my brothers phone. He's not interested in sorting it the right or proper way of ignoring her and putting it down into a journal for a civil case. Although at this stage, she did send me some new messages by pm on the form, I think I will be starting on the road of a civil case. I hope to make an appointment with my solicitor next week when I have more free time.

[ProudAuntie76]

You’ve written so many posts about your sister.

Mumsnet can’t help you with this. You need the police and a therapist. Not strangers on a forum who don’t know the reality of the situation.