How do I change mine and my children's surnames?

[delilabell]

Just that really.
We want to change our surnames. I'm still married to their father. I changed my name once married but want to change it back. Children have always had surname but we want to change theirs too.
Any advice on how to do it would be much appreciated.

[TheFormerPorpentinaScamander]

You can change yours by deed poll. Although I think you don't actually have to, you can just use your old name. You can't change your dcs unless their dad agrees though. Assuming he does then it's the same process.

[RoseAndRose]

You can just change yours - but banks etc may want to see some sort of document to show this is the name you are now going by. I think you can get a free deed poll online.

You can only change the DCs names with consent of all those with PR, or by court order (rarely granted)

[JockTamsonsBairns]

After I left my ex-H, i changed my ds's (then 6) name, just by telling the school etc. He had to have his original name on passport etc but, on his 16th birthday, it got changed officially. I think i would have needed permission prior to then to do it, but it wasn't necessary for every day life.
For context, ex-DH didn't have a moment's interest in ds1, but would never have agreed to changing his name. At the point of ds turning 16, we did it seamlessly by deed poll.

[firewalkeruk]

The advice the others have given you is quite correct only if their father is named on the birth certificate as I assume he was.
A name change can be facilitated through a protection order which has been issued by the court if your ex is deemed to be violent towards your DC neglect unfortunately doesn't meet the mark legally.
As others have stated once DC reaches 16 in England or Wales they can elect to change their name by deed poll but the fsthers name will always stay on the birth cert forever, even if, for instance you could prove he wasn't the biological father via DNA testing.

[firewalkeruk]

Just wanted to say I'm not trying to mansplain to you but I had to do an awful lot of research when after our son was born the registrar refused to put my surname on his Birth Cert. Instead because my now wife's decree absolute hadn't been issued the registrar put her then husbands name on the cert. It took us six years and a decree of debastardisation to have the Birth Cert amended and reissued. For his first year of Primary School my son had the surname of his half brothers father.
BTW we never tried to change my stepson surname as even though her ex was violent and abusive to her he never hurt the children physically and my wife couldn't provide enough evidence of emotional abuse.

[delilabell]

Thanks everyone. My husband will be more than happy for us to change it so I deed poll for it all? Do I have to pay for it? I don't want to go on a dodgy site and do it wrong!

[SoupDragon]

I think there are instructions on the government website.

[SoupDragon]

www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

These are the "not Scotland" instructions.

[Searchesforhipbones]

@firewalkeruk

Just wanted to say I'm not trying to mansplain to you but I had to do an awful lot of research when after our son was born the registrar refused to put my surname on his Birth Cert. Instead because my now wife's decree absolute hadn't been issued the registrar put her then husbands name on the cert. It took us six years and a decree of debastardisation to have the Birth Cert amended and reissued. For his first year of Primary School my son had the surname of his half brothers father.
BTW we never tried to change my stepson surname as even though her ex was violent and abusive to her he never hurt the children physically and my wife couldn't provide enough evidence of emotional abuse.

Why on earth didn’t she just use her birth name? They can’t ‘make’ you use your husbands name.

As a woman you always have the right to use your birth name, even if in some situations you have previously used your married name. She would just have had to produce her own birth cert surely?

This is the law as far as I know it and if this is wrong then I would love to be corrected. My kids have my name (am married) and dh’s , this was never questioned by registrars.

[takeabrolly]

I've just changed mine (I have no idea about the children though). I got the wording from the gov.uk site, printed out 20 copies and got some friends to sign them all. You'll need originals not photocopies so get plenty made.

Then I made a list of who I needed to notify and just worked my way down. The bank was trickiest because they needed a drivers license or passport in my new name so its a good idea to do one of those first.

Don't go to one of those companies who charge you. This shouldn't cost you anything.

[firewalkeruk]

Searchesforhiphones, As it transpired the registrar was wrong to force my wife to use her ex husbands surname. It was possible for her to use mine or her maiden name. This happened in Belfast in the mid-80's and the registrar was probably a 'good living' woman, that is a term here in Ulster for a Christian. Whatever she was she had a lot of attitude and her attitude cost us some considerable time and effort to correct.
To top it off the humiliation of the term debastardisation was very hurtful to us as we always wanted our son and my wife to have my surname which did happen 6 years later.
OP I am very pleased for you that your husband will accept the name change without fighting it. I wish you and your children well for the future and hope you find someone to love you as you deserve to be loved.

[delilabell]

Thank you so much everyone. So I can just start reusing my maiden name?

[Searchesforhipbones]

@firewalkeruk gosh they were SO wrong. I had my child registered recently in NI and we laughed after it (in horror, sort of) as neither registrar looked in the covered pram (baby was sleeping with muslin over top) to check there actually WAS a baby, and we gave it both our names.

Northern Ireland is weird as women are so vocal, professionally successful and high profile in politics etc, yet the social pressure for women to take their husbands name is insane.

[Searchesforhipbones]

As in, we could legit have registered an actual cauliflower as a UK citizen, I don’t think anything was asked about where we had the baby etc, we didnt need any ID (which since you can give baby any last name you feel like is fair enough I suppose). The difference between registrars must be insane!