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Worried someone I know is being groomed by human trafficker

24 replies

Yellownotblue · 27/10/2020 23:53

Please be gentle, I’m looking for genuine advice.

I have a live-in helper. She is from the Philippines and is legally in the UK on a work visa that I paid for. She is here on her own volition, I have known her for years, she’s a bright and smart woman in her late thirties, not a naive/young girl. We do not exploit her, we comply with employment law.

Her visa is about to expire and due to the type of visa, it cannot be renewed. She always knew this was going to happen. The plan was for her to go back to the Philippines and get employment from there. I would pay for her flight back.

She has just told me that she wants to stay in the UK. A ‘friend’ has introduced her to a man who is willing to help. He is Italian and is a composer/stock trader😳 who is settled in the UK. He has offered that they go to Italy and apply for a partner visa for her. He would pay for it and show proof of income (needed for partner visa). She could move in with him, study, get married and they could have a couple of kids (!).

She has never even met him. They have only chatted online.

There are other things that bother me, such as the fact he has offered to move near our house so she can keep working here, and also casually mentioned how he could insert himself in our family life (something to do with my children’s hobby).

Obviously there are red flags all over this. I’m worried that she will end up trafficked for sex or slave labour, in Italy or the U.K., or in an abusive relationship or worse.

I have tried explaining to her that this seems very dangerous and a scam. I’ve tried asking why would a complete stranger do this - there’s no such thing as a free lunch, etc. I’ve asked her how much money she’s expected to pay that man. She said he is not asking for any money. She told him she doesn’t have any.

I’ve offered to buy her a flexible flight to the Philippines, so that at least she has a way out if she finds herself unsafe with that man.

She asked me to wait a week so she can make up her mind.

It makes me very sad that she is so desperate to stay here that she is even willing to consider this.

I have done a bit of research and found a charity that she can call for advice. What else can I do or say to her? How can I support her? I’ve already said she can always come to me for help if things don’t work out. I don’t want to call the police and risk putting her in trouble.

I was planning to give her enough money when she leaves that she would be fine until she finds employment again, and make her financially secure, even perhaps help with her retirement. Now I worry it is all going to go to that man and she will end up with nothing. 🙁

OP posts:
DaisyDreaming · 27/10/2020 23:58

What a horrid situation, as you say that’s a classic trafficking scam. I would ring the charity for advice and get her to ring them too

Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 00:02

Yes, I will try calling them tomorrow. Thank you for replying, I’m quite upset

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MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 28/10/2020 00:04

You're right. I don't know what else to say - he's robs my not Italian to start with. Those gangs come from nearby countries. So you need to go find checks on him - if he's a banker he will be all over linked in and very easy to find on google complete with photo. So that's an easy thing to check.

If he does exist this man could be using his name so you could contact him (The official version) and see if he knows about this scheme.

It reeks to me. No one would offer to break the law like this and he could lose his job for it. She will f red bc up in a brothel or as a domestic slave. Please protect her Flowers

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 28/10/2020 00:04

Forgive the typing! I'm perfectly literate but my phone isn't Grin

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 28/10/2020 00:08

Actually I see he's a 'share trader' so will no doubt spin her a line of shit about how he sits at home making a fortune on the stock market. I highly doubt it. I'd ask him what shares he's in and if he doesn't answer immediately.,.,

ClaireP20 · 28/10/2020 00:10

Yeah this sounds bad, but at least she has someone as kind as you in her life. Can you get him name somehow, do some research on him (report him). Although you need to be careful too...

Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 00:18

@MarriedtoDaveGrohl

Actually I see he's a 'share trader' so will no doubt spin her a line of shit about how he sits at home making a fortune on the stock market. I highly doubt it. I'd ask him what shares he's in and if he doesn't answer immediately.,.,
Yep that’s exactly what he’s told her...
OP posts:
Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 00:20

@ClaireP20

Yeah this sounds bad, but at least she has someone as kind as you in her life. Can you get him name somehow, do some research on him (report him). Although you need to be careful too...
Yes, I am also worried as she may have told him where we live.
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Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 00:20

Also, thank you for your kind words. 💐

OP posts:
MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 28/10/2020 00:25

She needs to give you his name and you can google him. He souls be all over social media as a composer. He sounds dodgy as fuck.

tootiredtothinkofanewname · 28/10/2020 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hiccupiscal · 28/10/2020 00:28

...just make sure you're not getting exploited too, op.

No matter how much you think you know these people, you can't be sure.

I say this as someone who worked closely with women from the Philippines in the UK, they are mostly not naive and they know thier way around things too, I was in charge of a foreign care team, and worked closely with many women from the Philippines and the like, many were women who had been "brought", and had children with English men, they were looking after families by sending money home, working in care in England, and there was more than a few dodgy dealings along the way...

im obviously not saying this is the case for all of them, and you are right to be concerned, but you sound like you're getting financially tied in yourself. It is not for you to pay for this womans life, morally to protect her and offer advice - yes, but please be aware exploitation works both ways.

Just 'food for thought', I am no way "tarring everyone with the same brush" before anyone pulls me up, but just making op aware that things aren't always as they seem, and please don't make yourself vulnerable to exploitation and get too involved in what could turn out to be fraudulent at best, and down right illegal. Please dont be used as a meal ticket.

....take care.

Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 00:30

Thank you, good ideas. I will ask for his name and do some sleuthing. I will also look up CEOP

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alexdgr8 · 28/10/2020 00:33

does the charity begin with a K by any chance ?

Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 00:37

@Hiccupiscal, I get where you’re coming from. But she has worked for and lived with us for 4 years, in two countries, so I know she is honest. There’s never been sob stories etc.

She doesn’t know how much money I’ve set aside for her; until today she didn’t even know I’m planning to give her a ‘bonus’ at the end of her contract.

OP posts:
Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 00:38

@alexdgr8

does the charity begin with a K by any chance ?
Yes that’s one I’ve identified. Do you have any experience dealing with them? Are they any good?
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Hiccupiscal · 28/10/2020 00:43

@Yellownotblue I am sure you do, I just felt I had to say something, from the years of experience I also had, working with people who have had similar stories. Just incase there was any way the other possibility hadn't crossed you mind.

Of course you know this woman, her circumstances and how you feel about her, better than I, a complete stranger would do.

I really hope you find a way to help her, it does sound like there is a huge risk of trafficking, and well done for trying to make her see sense. Im sure you will get some very helpful replies from more knowledgeable people on the thread.

Wishing you, and her, good luck op. Ill keep checking for updates

Hiccupiscal · 28/10/2020 00:46

Oh and just to add, please be careful for your own safety too, if she is really naive or determined, she might be putting you at risk, without meaning to do so. Again, wishing you all the best.

Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 16:32

Just popping in to say thank you to everyone. I had another chat with my helper and she has agreed to returning to the Philippines when her visa expires. I booked her flight today.

She is aware of the scam potential and is making checks to find out more about the person. I was very explicit in mentioning the risks, criminal gangs etc. I’ve also given her the details of the relevant charity in case she wants expert advice. She hasn’t given her real name to the guy, and he doesn’t have our address.

OP posts:
Hiccupiscal · 28/10/2020 18:00

Oh well done, op.
Wishing her and you all the best. You've done a wonderful thing looking after her x

Branleuse · 28/10/2020 18:07

Have you told her what you think. Be upfront with her

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 28/10/2020 19:28

Great because this must be dodgy. Did he approach her? No doubt. He's grooming her. It's probably part of his strategy to approach women like her (Filipino) as he knows they can't stay in the same way other nationalities can.

Honestly why would some guy pop up to offer this out of nowhere. Heard a great quote about social media the other day along the lines of

If something is free that's because YOU are the product.

HungryPies · 28/10/2020 21:41

Great news that she's decided to go home. The best number to call is the Modern Slavery Helpline run by the charity Unseen 0800 012 1700. They have close links to the National Crime Agency and can provide support to victims while tackling the criminals. If you have any details of this man please call them anyway and pass on the details.

Yellownotblue · 28/10/2020 21:42

She was introduced to him by some mutual friends.

We had an open hearted discussion and I told her it sounds dodgy and scary - that I was worried he might come here, take her money, traffic her, that she might end up indebted or forced into labour. And that he may not be who he says he is. She understands all of this. As I said before, she’s not naive. She is also doing her own research.

At the same time, she knows lots of women from the Philippines in London, who have managed to stay here in spite of visa issues and are advising her on how to do that. Obviously there is a modus operandi for doing this, and I’m not equipped to help her with that. In some ways it’s better if I don’t know all the goings on.

I’m not her guardian, and she’s not asked for my advice, so I need to be careful not to impose. But she knows how I feel and is going to make her decision She is a sensible woman, very capable and with good judgement. Definitely not going into this blindly.

All I can think is that there may be circumstances at home that make her want to stay away. I don’t feel comfortable asking about that. I get the sense that her brothers and sisters are very demanding of her money. She’s put a lot of nephews and nieces through college, pays for roof repairs, dentist, glasses... who knows what else might be going on.

It’s really sad to think some people are dealt such a shit hand in life. The migrant boat that sank yesterday in the Channel is a stark reminder of that.

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