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How to encourage child to talk about abuse

29 replies

Demithemoore · 27/10/2020 20:42

I strongly suspect my child has been abused. I had a thread last week that had to be deleted as I had said far too much; police are involved and I was worried it might undermine the case or give a heads up to the abuser...

My child will tell the police nothing - tells me some bits but omitted all this in their statement. They have been told by the abuser the police will take them away if they talk and are scared.

If anyone has any experience how do I encourage my child to talk about abuse? They have said some things that are really worrying but not a clear picture and I get the feeling that now the abuser is gone from their life they’d really rather just forget about it all and move on. I completely understand why, but also know that for the safety of other children we really need to hear what’s happened. I also need my child to know what happen was not their fault and was wrong.

Any advice would be really welcome. My child has SEN so is more like a 4yr old than their actual age. They can understand and communicate but are very trusting and naive.

Any advice really appreciated

OP posts:
thenshewasgone · 10/12/2020 09:23

Op I am in the same situation. We have pressed charges. He is due to be arrested. My child had disclosed things to school workers and also in two police interviews with a specialist child worker. Whether cps proceed remains to be seen, but a small child cannot make up actions that have happened that are beyond their realm of imagination unless there is truth behind it. It’s a horrific situation to be in I know. 💐

thenshewasgone · 10/12/2020 09:24

I should add, I proceeded with pressing charges, because even if it doesn’t go anywhere, I want to be able to look my child in the eye when they are older and say “I tried” I tried to get justice for you, I did all I could.

PinkPlantCase · 10/12/2020 09:37

Oh OP glad to see things are moving in the right direction, it must be so upsetting for you all. Sorry that you’re going through this.

As PP said a lot of weight in these cases is given to the fact that children can’t make these things up. They are very far outside the realms of what they can imagine. I’m not an expert at all but I don’t think your child will need to testify in court if it goes that far, though I have heard of instances where a child has appears via video link or they have played videos of the child talking to their play therapist/the police. I don’t say any of this to worry you further more to point out that your child’s involvement in the case could (hopefully) be very limited.

Demithemoore · 10/12/2020 16:05

Thank you so much that’s really helpful and sorry to hear others are going through the same thing ☹️ It’s awful isn’t it. But I agree I need to be able to know we did the right thing. I hope you get the right outcome thenshewasgone (sorry I don’t know how to tag).

I think unless we stand up to these people they will just do it again; I’m truly sorry you’re going through this too x

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