Struggling with friends whilst ttc

[Rdaisyleo]

Im finding it hard to have a friendship with my friends... I only have 2 friends and they both now have kids. I feel like when we do see eachother I have nothing thats interesting to say, they talk about there kids and have their own chat and im stood there with nothing.. I dont feel like im in a friendship anymore, as weird as that may sound.... I just want to know im not alone in this and other people ttc for years feel this way now and then?? .. I feel like my life in comparison is pathetic and not worth talking about so I dont talk

Yes I totally understand what you mean. We tried for 5 years before we had our children and I put many friendships ‘on hold’ at this time as I felt so left out/jealous/sad about the situation. Sending a hug...how long have you been ttc for?

Feel your pain I'm stuck in limbo atm, had my own losses before with partner who I've been with for five years, I'm now starting to Tey some of my friends are years from having a family, some have 5+ year old children I feel like I have noone in between

Try again*

I have kids and have friends without. When I see the ones without I try to limit my child talk. I ask what they have been doing etc (when my kids were little I didn't really have much else on so my chat was a bit limited!!!)

Maybe try seeing the friends one on one rather than as a group. If that doesn't work pull back a bit for now. (If they are really good friends tell them why too....)

Good luck with TTC.

@bettyboop82 its about 5 years ive been ttc. This last year I finally told the doctors because my mental health couldnt do it anymore and im now waiting on being referred to the IVF clinic.... I havent really spoke about this to them, one friend knows im having some tests and thats it and thats because she was asking. They know though that I am ttc and have been for years. Even though they know this and it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out I must be struggling, they still talk about babies and other people being pregnant or having their baby.my phone gets filled with pictures of their babies and as cute as they are it's just a reminder when im at home in my space that im childless still. I dont feel like they can understand what im actually going through, they have the one thing I want. Nobody in my family knows whats happening. This is the only place I talk about my problems because im not alone with my problems. Think I probably need to take a step back from them and have a break.

That must be heartbreaking OP.

Maybe you could forge ( probably online) friendships with people also having problems TTC ? Sounds like they don’t know or are not sure you are comfortable discussing so they don’t know how sensitive it is for you.

Friendships are dynamic and sometimes we hang on out of nostalgia even though we know we are drifting apart.

I hope all goes well with your journey and I hope you have some supportive loving people around you 💓

You are right! I have recently realised I have been that other side person from time to time. I have purposefully reigned in my kid talk because I get your point. No one else really wants to listen to endless kid talk but don't think your life is boring, I talk about my kids because that's all I have 😂 so I have made a point of suggesting me and my 2 mates for more of a girly adult night. Show them you like a bit of kid talk, but then have adult time. If they're your friends they should understand xxx