How to process emotions without counselling?

[Wellthisisacanofworms]

Just that really. 2020 has been a bastard of a year, house move, job loss and 2 miscarriages, but the final straw was in August - my sister was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer age 15 and I just don't know where to start.

I get stuff done, can shut away all of the emotional stuff efficiently when I need to, but I don't know how to let it out. My family can't cope with emotion - growing up, showing emotion was something to be embarrassed about. So I know, logically, I have a lot of stuff to process.

I guess I need counselling but since losing my job due to Covid, money has been very tight. I am desperately trying to freelance while applying for any job I can but at the moment, there is no way I could afford professional help.

I'm horribly irritable and can't sleep, and physically I have started getting a lot of IBS-type symptoms and headaches and acne. So I know it's in there somewhere stressing my body out! But where do I start? How do I even identify my emotions, let alone start to process them?

I wasnt going to post because if you have a lot going on it could be harmful for untrained people to start randomly suggesting things. But this is what worked/works for me
Bit of a cliche but mindfulness. There are guides on line (yoga with adrienne does some good ones). Technically it is about clearing your mind etc etc but I find when there is loads going on clearing a bit of space then means emotions can come in one by one (rather than getting stuck in the door). Be warned though - it can be quite difficult sitting still when normally you get through things by distracting yourself/keeping busy
Keeping a diary/writing things down helps me figure out what I feel/think and stops things swirling round and round in my head unresolved
Occassionally I will listen to really sad songs/watch sad videos and feel sorry for myself and just cry it for a day.

And for everything, especially your sister.
Do also remember that sometimes our coping strategies are exactly that, coping strategies and there for a reason. Dont rush your feelings or feel you have to confront them all at once.

Is there any charities near you offering free counselling? Such as women’s centres etc.
Allow your emotions to just be, no need to push past them or to bury them. Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.
Journal your thoughts whenever the urge takes you.
Follow some therapist on Instagram look at their book recommendations (our local library does books on prescription- so helpful books that have been preselected).
Importantly find out where your support circle lies, who can you talk to, let them know how difficult things are. Also think about helplines, they often offer emotional support. Take care, you’ve been through so much.