Anxiety...anyone got any tips or want to chat ..

[Pringlemonster]

It’s utterly ruining my life ,I constantly feel like I have a dentist appointment every single day ,nerves and feelings of dread off the scale.
I’m taking all kinds of vitamins ,htp5 ,omegas ,and batch rescue remedy.
Nothing is touching it
I’m currently having counselling,and the counsellor seems determined to get me to agree I was abused as a child...I don’t feel I was ,I feel it was just 1970s shit parenting ,which you can’t judge by today’s standards.
She feels my anxiety steams from that.
I’ve had it my whole life ,and it just won’t fuck of.
It can’t be normal to feel like this all the time.
I’m pretty sure I have ASD and anxiety is listed as one of the main symptoms of that...But thinking that doesn’t help ,or change the situation,I’m still left with bad anxiety weather it’s from autism or a shite childhood .
Every little thing feels like a mountain to climb .
Has anyone successfully dealt with this ,I can’t find anything that helps

Hi OP didn't want to read and run. I suffer with anxiety, only after battling with PTSD 10 years after fleeing awful domestic abuse. I've tried amitryptolene and citalapram (sp?) in the past. Anitryptolene was incredible for me, citalapram actually made it worse. I'm off meds now do but do regularly snowball back into anxiety. The only way that I find helps is taking things an hour at a time, I keep myself very busy so my mind cannot wander as much. Taking the dog out, or putting on ths tv helps massively. I always feel like a failure so I do tend to jot down any comments that have given me a boost to read when I feel very dark. Normally my go to scenario is on the way back from a mumsnet event, on a crowded commuter train a lovely lady approached me to tell me what a great parent she thought I was

Thanks maddening ,appreciate the reply .
Yes I could definitely try keeping busy more ,I do seem to be sat around waiting for something awful to happen...I don’t really watch tv or read or anything ,my mind just wanders off ,or I forget what I’ve read by the end of the page

Hi, I find that researching anxiety, its reaction on the body and mind helps me gain insight into my own anxiety.

I. like you, do not agree with the current thinking that everything you endure as an adult stems from childhood. I think genetics plays a much bigger role then we currently believe.

The great thing about knowledge and insight is that it gives you back the power. It doesn't take away the experience of anxiety but you gradually take back the control. Think of it like an enemy but one whose tactics you know; you can almost predict anxieties next moves.

You can find some interesting papers on the Kings College website here:
www.kcl.ac.uk/ioppn/depts/psychology/research/researchgroupings/cadat/research/research

Thank you emmeno 1.
I will have a read of that in bed ,that’s the other problem with the anxiety,it keeps me awake ,always awake between 1 and 4 am ..

There’s a website called cci.health.wa.gov.au which has loads of workbooks you can read and download, under the resources tab. They can be pretty helpful, have some practical things as well as stuff about thoughts & worries, so you could have a look if you like.
Anxiety is exhausting, I hope it gets better for you soon

Emummy Thankyou ,I will look in a bit .

I found mindfulness good and I use the smiling mind app. I also made some changes around work which was the main focus of my anxiety. I did counselling too which was great. It sounds like your counsellor has a bit of an agenda though, you might get on better with one with a different approach?

Whilst my anxiety doesn't sound as persistent as yours I was having anxious episodes linked to sleep, I've had them all my life but it was getting a bit out of control. I did online CBT via the NHS which I self referred to. It definitely helped. It didn't cure. But it's made a big difference. Sorry you're finding it hard OP, anxiety is fucking awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Anxiety is a real pain in the arse. Sometimes I have to hide in my bedroom. I might come out to make a sandwich and a cup of tea then drag it back upstairs with me. If DH is here, he will do room service for me. My theory is that if I don't leave my room, nothing terrible will happen.

Sending hugs - hang on in there!

Seek out a copy of Brilliant CBT by doctor stephen Briars (book)

Only here to commiserate really...have found stuff that's helped in the past - cbt, mindfulness etc but anxiety seems to be my Achilles heal. I had a proper psychiatrist assessment last week and got diagnosed with severe anxiety and complex PTSD. It's certainly helped take away some of the guilt factor for why I can't seem to manage the symptoms for long before they come back. I've been suggested a book called facing codependency. Some of it seems familiar, some of it not.

Otherwise I had started to look into the field of functional medicine. I do feel that there must be a physiological answer to this. I feel like someone else could have had my childhood and not be where I am. There are all sorts of routes you can explore - hormones, being low in certain amino acids etc. Don't give up! And overall just be kind to yourself, no one with anxiety deserves to feel this sh*t. It was never my life's plan....

I found regular exercise really helped. I know it sounds cliche and I have been an exercise avoider most of my life. I use the Jillian Michaels My Fitness app to do a home workout most days.

I've also found the yin style of yoga really helpful, as there's a lot of focus on breathing exercises and mindfulness type exercises. It's long deep stretches (so not very active at all). It's been really good for helping me to learn how to clear my mind.

Thanks everyone lots of ideas there ,I will look up everything suggested

Beta blockers for physical symptoms

I agree with @violetbunny about breathing- I can't believe how much a seemingly silly thing like proper breathing helped, particularly in those still moments when my heart does stupid flutters. Nose breathing especially. I havent found any one remedy that makes anxiety go away but lots of little things that add up and make everything more manageable. Being in nature, proper sleep (sorry that one is hard for you), writing list a so that things don't stay in my head, a bit of mindfulness/quasi meditation- all these things help too.

Sorry you're having a rough time- it's such an all-pervasive thing to suffer from isn't it.

Good luck @Pringlemonster, just reread your post and it struck me that even though we can rationalise our childhood experiences - telling ourselves that it was no worse than for anyone else or that our parents were just doing their best etc unfortunately that doesn't stop us from carrying around that emotional baggage from the child part of ourselves that isn't so rational/reasonable etc so maybe your counsellor is on to something?

Sertraline. Exercise. These have helped. Counseling also, but ongoing for years (privately not NHS), there is no quick or cheap fix for a crappy childhood. Also, counseling needs to be a good fit between you and the therapist and their style.

Have you read Feel the Fear and do it anyway? I found it a massive help.

Thanks everyone,
The counsellor is making me feel like some sort of victim,I’m getting a lot of sympathy comments,like ,it was so hard for you ,you had so much to cope with ,no one was meeting your needs ,I’m hearing the experiences of a child who was abused ,you told me this this this and this ,that is abuse what your parents were doing..

For a start it was 40 odd years ago ,secondly,I never give it a thought .
It’s gone ,i can’t change it ,it’s the past .we all have a past ,I’m just getting on with my life ,or trying to if I could shake this anxiety off.
It’s nhs counselling ,so 6 weeks ,at this rate it’s going to open Pandora’s box ,counselling will end ,and I’m going to be left picking up the Pieces and have more to cope with ,than just anxiety.
I’m a very resilient person ,I’ve had to be
I hate having this anxiety,it undermines my decisions,it pulls me down.
If I could change one thing about myself it would be to loose the anxiety
Childhood was 1970s ,everyone’s was crap by today’s standards,look how parenting has changed ,we all do things differently than our parents ,none of us are born knowing how to be a parent ,we learn as we go.
I will look for that book ,feel the fear and do it anyway.

Actually nature and proper breathing ,my counsellor has already suggested and talked me through a count down of 5 things you can see ,4 things you can hear ,3 things ....or something like that .but I’d forgotten that ,

Just wondering OP if you've said to your counsellor what you've said here? That you understand that your childhood has had an effect on you but you would like to focus on the here and now and what you can change going forward? Might be worth trying to have a discussion in your next session about what you would like to do with the remaining time so both of you are on the same page?

Yeah emummy i will do that ..
I’ve a lot going on ,and external things do set it of .
Might be time to try the doctor ,and ask for medication,admit defeat ,I can’t do this alone

It's so hard; I would look at it as reaching out for help and support, rather than admitting defeat. It takes courage to be open about it when we are struggling; I find it really hard.

Sorry, meant to say good luck

Hey @Pringlemonster just to agree that medication doesn't haven't to mean admitting defeat, it's just about doing whatever helps you feel better right now. It doesn't have to mean anything about the future or say anything about you x