35 and the kids question

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I don’t know why this has suddenly consumed me but I am suddenly terrified about never having a family. I’m 35 next month and it’s thrown me into a total panic. I went for fertility checks a couple of months ago because I was panicking and no comment except all ok. I was almost laughed at for my panic, but everywhere seems to say 35 is it for women.

I don’t want children alone so it’s not as if I will be having them next year as I’m still single. I feel so much fear it keeps me awake at night. When I was 32 I had an abortion at 5 weeks after my DP of two years went completely crazy at the news (it wasn’t planned) and he ended the relationship the moment he knew. It was awful and traumatic and when I went to the hospital they couldn’t see anything in the sac and they couldn’t confirm it it would be a viable pregnancy (they said either it was too soon for them to see anything or I was going to miscarry and I would have to wait and see, I had had a bit of bleeding). I ended up taking one tablet, forget the name and it all passed like a normal period and I didn’t need to take anything else. I guess since then I’ve wondered if I was actually miscarrying, of course I will never really know as I took the tablet.

My head is just spinning and I feel so scared about it all. I have done all I can do in terms of getting checked out but really unless I meet someone then I’m never really going to know am I? I don’t know how to be calm about it and feel like at 35 with my history maybe that it is.

Grateful for any advice x

Anyone?

Just read your post and Didn’t want to read and run and I would say Try not to worry OP lots of women go on to have relationships , marriage and children at the age of 35 or older , try not to stress or worry too much , and if your wanting to maybe find someone would you consider online dating sites? As you may find someone you like there and be able to get to know them , I do understand abit of your concern as with lockdown and places being shut it makes it hard for people to be able to meet up and socialise be able to live a more normal kind of life , but it’s never too late to meet someone and with modern day technology when it comes to having children women are able to have children older now even above the age of 45 , don’t know if this has helped but just know you are not alone x

Thanks for replying. I think I worry that the abortion might have caused me to be infertile or something, even though I’ve always worried about things like this even before that. I’ve also spoken to doctors and had checks and so far nobody can see anything wrong. But you just don’t know for sure do you. You hear all the time in the media about fertility dropping off at 35 and I guess with the background of a termination I worry even more. I’ve laid awake for hours in the last week when in reality it’s not like I can do anything.

I do online date and I’m honest about what I’m looking for, without being too upfront of course!!

I was pregnant with my first at 37. You have time. I don't have advice but be reassured I know a lot of people who have had kids in late 30s. One had twins in early 40s. It's not too late.

I split with my long term partner at 35 and met DH 2 years later and had my little boy at 43.

I tend to be a ‘go with the flow’ rather than planning type of person but I remember those anxious feelings after splitting with my ex.

Looking around at my friends, many are mums of babies in their 40’s, so try not to worry.

I had my DS at 37 and my DD at 38.