Is it rude to ask someone if they are single?

[savetti]

Like someone you just met?
I was on a plane with my son and the woman next to me asked. I’m actually widowed and I wouldn’t describe myself as single and really didn’t want to explain to this woman I’d said 5 words to.
It was strange

In the context you have explained OP yes it’s quite rude.

I say that as a traveler with my Son too. The worst and rudest part is it’s not even asked mid conversation... it’s like the first question you can usually see on holiday who is with who! I mean is it really necessary?

Honestly and the “where is your husband question” honestly.... I remember discussing this with the work girls and I said to her as a joke I’ve got a good mind to say my husband died yesterday (I wouldn’t) although it has crossed my mind!

I have lied many of times to complete strangers (if I think it’s bold nosiness) and not actually genuine conversation and said that my husband is away on business. I personally wouldn’t question a stranger

Ok, sounds like she hasn't good food social/communication skills. It happens.

It’s just a standard question in polite conversation surely? Also “where are you from?”, “what do you do for work?” etc. It’s just a touchy subject for you for obvious reasons. The woman didn’t do anything wrong.

@Mallemo

It’s just a standard question in polite conversation surely? Also “where are you from?”, “what do you do for work?” etc. It’s just a touchy subject for you for obvious reasons. The woman didn’t do anything wrong.

In what world is it POLITE? I think it’s intrusive. It’s not similar to asking about work or where they are from...both are quite open ended. Whereas are you married leads to a yes or no then often a why not? What does your husband do? Do you have children? Didn’t you want children? Etc...really bloody nosy and personal. And the woman sounds extremely inappropriate overall.

Asking if someone has children does not automatically lead to “why not?”. Unclench!

Sitting next to someone on a plane, I would never ask anything personal. Would be limited to “have you been to xxxx before?” , “how long are you staying”, “is that a good book”

Just brush it off as nerves about flying- lots of people cover their fear by drinking and then chatting excessively.

I hope you and DS have a fabulous holiday!

Surely she asked "is it just the two of you" because if the answer was no she intended to offer to swap?

Pretty normal.

It was about 2 hours into the flight, after the wine ,so no, she wasn’t thinking of offering to swap!

She's just making conversation then. Trying to be friendly. Probably felt a bit weird that you'd sat beside her for 2 hours and not said 5 words to her.

Were you giving her funny looks? You seem pretty hung up on her having a few glasses of wine and relaxing into holiday mode.

I regularly have to ask someone something 4 times in the covid world of mask wearing. Especially difficult on a plane I imagine

@savetti

My son and I were the last ones on the plane, just the last in the queue. The line was quite steady. First thing she said to me was “did you get stuck in traffic?”

She sounds seriously annoying, OP.

Its just chatter and if you find it too personal just politely respond in a suitable manner. Conversations have to start somewhere . Also there can be cultural differences,for example, people of different cultures and nationalities have different filters and parameters for the scope of casual conversation. Some will ask you what might seem the must probing questions whilst others will just stick to the bare necessities to maintain good manners.

No she asked me 4 times where I was staying, which I answered, chatted about where she was staying, then she asked again and again!
Of course I wasn’t giving her funny looks! I hadn’t completely ignored her, we just hadn’t chatted. If anything she was snotty when I first got on, suggesting I’d held up the plane!
I really don’t care if someone had a few glasses of wine on a plane, but it obviously went straight to her head. She couldn’t get the magazines back in the rack, left then on the floor and then she kept sliding her legs over banging into me, stepping on my toes. At one point she put her visor on my tray. She’s just had a sneezing fit in it.
This was a bit lighthearted, I just thought it was an odd question and could be worded better, which a few have agreed with, but others just think it’s conversation. Which I’ve certainly never come across, but I don’t get out much!

I only asked about funny looks as you've commented on her wine, her lipstick, her poor French pronunciation. You seem to be really judging her and didn't say more than 5 words in 2 hours of sitting next to her.

I think everything she's asked you or said could be easily put down to trying to make conversation but you seem to be taking it the wrong way.

For example, if flying from Manchester there's notorious traffic in the area from roadworks, maybe she got stuck and conversationally asked if you did too. You've taken this to mean she's having a dig at you when the traffic around certain airports is as much a british conversation topic as the weather is.

The behaviour only started after the wine kicked in.
I was trying to be amusing, never mind
I didn’t mean literally 5 words, just meant I’d hardly spoken to her,
She might have have been talking about the traffic, but no harm done. I answered her breezily and said we were just at the end of the queue.