Would you allow her to sit in the front?

[Reesewitherknife]

This is a kind of a what would you do question really?
My mum has Alzheimer’s and a blood cancer disorder. She is obviously vulnerable during this whole Covid situation. She doesn’t go anywhere other than for drives in the car. I visit her every day to help my dad with her care (this is kind of relevant to my dilemma). As a result of caring for my mum I go to very few places except for work.
It is a part time job. I am a driver for a disabled lady. She is 35 and lives with her parents. She has some physical difficulties but no learning difficulties. We are in the car traveling together for approx 4-5 hours per week.
After lockdown she started attending her day centre again. Her mum said she had taken advice and the best way for us to travel safely was for her daughter to travel in the back seat (she previously would sit in the front next to me), with windows open and us both wearing masks. I was happy with this set up as it obviously helped me to avoid any possible infection and protect ourselves (and my mum) as much as we could.
However the woman I drive has become very moody with me over the last few weeks, often not speaking to me, I’ve asked what was up but would get no response and had no idea what I had done to upset her.
I found out the reason for this change in behaviour last week after she got in the car and shouted ‘Great! another FUCKING journey in the back of my own car!’ (She had also posted this on her Facebook page). It transpires that a friend of hers in a similar position doesn’t travel in the back of his car or wears a face mask and neither does their driver/PA. I told her that we were adhering to the guidelines and it was to protect us all and that I wanted to also help lessen the possible transmission to my mum owing to her vulnerability. She wasn’t happy and wouldn’t talk to me on the journey back.
Anyhow, when I got home I spoke with my husband and he said that tbh her being in the back of the car isn’t much different to her being in front.
So now I’m thinking for next week I just give in and offer for her to sit in the front? I was going to suggest she put the seat as far back as possible (this may be a bit tricky with her disability, I’m not sure) so we aren’t directly side by side?
Would you do this? I’m just not sure what is the best way to go. Obviously I ant us both to keep as safe as possible but I certainly don’t want to keep driving in silence whilst she is so unhappy about the set up.

She sounds like she is an absolute cow , I would ask that you have a ( socially distanced) meeting before the next trip with her and the other members of her care team / household and outline the issues , she is quite simply bullying you and you should not have to back down .

If your client doesn't have learning difficulties and is 35 as you say, I'm not sure why you made an arrangement with her mum and not with her directly.

If the lady you drive has physical but not learning difficulties, then why were you discussing anything with her parents to start with? If she's an adult with capacity, then all discussions should be with her. I wouldn't be happy if someone made arrangements for me with DH (say) without talking to me.

If you both face forward and talk straight ahead with windows open, AC/Heating off and masks, there's an incredibly low risk to the pair of you

As part of my job I drive someone 30-45 minutes each morning & each evening. It's a non negotiable aspect of my job.

She travels in the back, wearing a mask.
Even pre Covid & in warmer weather she has always hated the windows being open. I don't open the back windows, but the info open the front windows at least a couple of inches I have the heating on, but without the fan - but given the windows are open, I'm not sure the fan matters?

My car, my rules. But I try to make her comfortable.

Are you in a position where you could tell her to get another driver if she keeps kicking off?

I really don't want to have to do that because I do care about her & I do like my job - but if she became really unreasonable I could tell her to find someone else.

I certainly don't think someone sitting in the back, not front, makes you 'safe' but I do believe it makes you 'safer' you're father away from large droplets & the smaller ones are somewhat more likely to drop and be destroyed.

YANBU at all. She is being ridiculous. She's getting where she needs to go, why is her ego so wrapped up in riding in the front of the car? She's physically disabled, she isn't mentally disabled, just be straight with her.

Thanks everyone. Tbh, I have no idea why everything goes through her mum other than to say from what I see over the last three years that I have being doing this job is that she has been so mollycoddled she is incapable of making her own decisions and leans on others to make them for her either that or she does have undiagnosed learning difficulties but I haven’t noticed that myself, although I am no expert.

I have so much stress in my life right now I would love to hand my notice in but I need the money. I just can’t handle having someone getting stroppy with me over something mainly out of my control and I certainly do not appreciate being sworn at. It’s been like dealing with my teenage kids this last few weeks!