Ex's grandfather put me in will.

[reducingfootprint]

This is my daughters situation.
She dated her ex from 18 to 23, ended badly and have not spoken in 4 years.
Grandfather and DD got on, she is a caring person and probably to be polite listened to all his stories etc. He lived on her route to her bus stop so would drop his newspaper etc round every morning, she says his family werent the most caring or couldnt be bothered with him. They both have an interest in nature and the environment etc, she says they were close but not overly. She viewed him as her partners grandfather and nothing more.

He has since passed and DD was contacted to say he has left her a sum of around 15k to her but not much to his own family.
WWYD?

[VinylDetective]

What a brilliant thing for him to do. Your daughter must be such a lovely person for him to do that.

[nosswith]

Honour his wishes. If you are really embarrassed about having the money, then donate some or all of it to charity, perhaps related to something he had an interest in, or research into the medical condition he died from (were that the case).

[caringcarer]

Your dd's little acts of kindness to this elderly man obviously meant a lot to him. He wants her to have the money. A great deposit for a house of her own one day. Little deeds of kindness make such a difference. You should be so proud of your dd and her kind nature. She did not show him kindness expecting a reward but it is lovely she has got one.

[DeciduousPerennial]

Accept the money with grace and gratitude, and ponder on the fact that small kindnesses to you can be of enormous value to others, often in ways you can’t imagine.

[Anydreamwilldo12]

She should accept it. Your daughter sounds lovely and she obviously made a big difference to an old mans life.

[IWantT0BreakFree]

I think it sort of depends what you mean when you say the relationship "ended badly". If your daughter caused unnecessary hurt or distress to her ex then I don't think it would be right to accept the grandfather's money, especially given that he may not have known what went on.

She is legally entitled to the money as long as the grandfather had capacity when he wrote his will. Morally, obviously an awful lot of people think it's absolutely fine so I guess she's clear on that front too. To be honest I wouldn't personally accept £15k from someone I didn't have a close relationship with, knowing that they had not left their family much. Especially given the bad blood with the ex. It just doesn't quite sit right with me and it's not a situation I would be comfortable with having been put in.

[TicTac80]

She should accept it, and hopefully realise that her kindness probably meant the world to him. I'm a nurse (working on a hospital ward) and have met many people who often don't see or speak to anyone day in and day out when they're at home. I'm betting that the daily visit with the newspaper, and conversation meant so much to him, and that he looked forward to it each day. I hope you feel really proud of her for being so lovely. Time is one of the most precious things that you could give someone :)

[ScribblingMilly]

That's really lovely. He's saying thank you for the chats and kindness, and I'm sure it also gave him pleasure to think of her receiving the money and getting a bit of security or fun with hit. She should definitely take it as intended.

[StatisticalSense]

I think it depends on the exact circumstances. If your daughter hadn't spoken to the gentleman in 4 years and he hadn't capacity (either legally or practically) to alter the will for most of that time it would probably be fairer to let the family keep the money. If she was still in contact after the relationship ended (the Op is not exactly clear on this) or the gentleman had the ability to change his will for most of the past four years the case for keeping the money is much stronger.

[Brefugee]

What a lovely daughter you have, OP.
And a lovely story.

[GreySkyClouds]

She should keep it.

You should feel proud of her.

[IWantT0BreakFree]

If your daughter hadn't spoken to the gentleman in 4 years and he hadn't capacity (either legally or practically) to alter the will for most of that time it would probably be fairer to let the family keep the money.

Yes definitely this ^

There's not enough info in the OP to make a fair judgement.

[1forAll74]

That is so lovely to hear, two people who connected together, despite an age difference, and a person who valued your daughters presence.more than she ever realised.

[Pradababe]

How lovely... older person and a younger person connected... joy comes in many ways... hope she enjoys his gift to her. She asked for nothing...and gave real joy on a day to day basis... what a legacy! xx

[diddl]

"To be honest I wouldn't personally accept £15k from someone I didn't have a close relationship with, knowing that they had not left their family much."

But perhaps he didn't want his family to have much?

[BloggersBlog]

Your DD sounds lovely. Am glad kindness is being rewarded

[RedMarauder]

Your daughter should accept the money.

She should donate a small amount to a charity they both would be interested in but most importantly carry on with her caring acts.

Lots of people and charities need your time not just your money.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

Accept it.

Why shouldn't she?

The GF wanted her to have that money. It would be very ungrateful to refuse it.

[3timeslucky]

How lovely of him. I wouldn't do anything but I'd feel all warm and fuzzy that my daughter had touched this old man's life and heart. The idea of her making a donation to a charity they would have both supported is nice.

[Zeebeezee]

This is what wills are for.

As long as he had capacity when making it, it belongs to your daughter. Are you concerned that the family might object? Let them go and challenge, it will cost them more than 15k in the end. Do you know who the executor is? If one of the family there might be rumblings, but the law is the law, and keep an eye on it.

Could I ask who informed DD about the legacy? At least she was told. Good sign.

[CovidClara]

I would want to know the terms of the will.

MY DM has made a number of fixed cash legacies and then the rest goes to her children. She started with the value of her estate and it is about 10%. However rather than leaving 10% she left a fixed amount. So is she faces massive care home bills her children will get nothing as the legacy comes first.

I can see a situation where I will be lying for a funeral whilst loads of her friends get a lump sum each

I would check that it wasn't similar- did he have rapidly dwindling assets?

[ktp100]

He obviously valued the time he spent with her and recognised her kindness. If his blood relatives didn't bother with him they don't deserve his money.

I hope she takes it and finds it helpful.x.

[CrappleUmble]

@CovidClara

I would want to know the terms of the will.

MY DM has made a number of fixed cash legacies and then the rest goes to her children. She started with the value of her estate and it is about 10%. However rather than leaving 10% she left a fixed amount. So is she faces massive care home bills her children will get nothing as the legacy comes first.

I can see a situation where I will be lying for a funeral whilst loads of her friends get a lump sum each

I would check that it wasn't similar- did he have rapidly dwindling assets?

Funeral expenses come out of the estate before any bequests.

[TonTonMacoute]

You can't take it with you, so you leave it to someone who you like and who you believe will use it well. Families should not take it for granted that this will be them.

It is a credit to your DD that she has been bequeathed this money from someone who clearly appreciate her and her thoughtfulness.

[ilovepuggies]

It sounds like they had a warm genuine connection which he appreciated immensely