Ex's grandfather put me in will.

[reducingfootprint]

This is my daughters situation.
She dated her ex from 18 to 23, ended badly and have not spoken in 4 years.
Grandfather and DD got on, she is a caring person and probably to be polite listened to all his stories etc. He lived on her route to her bus stop so would drop his newspaper etc round every morning, she says his family werent the most caring or couldnt be bothered with him. They both have an interest in nature and the environment etc, she says they were close but not overly. She viewed him as her partners grandfather and nothing more.

He has since passed and DD was contacted to say he has left her a sum of around 15k to her but not much to his own family.
WWYD?

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@VenusClapTrap

Why do the living feel the need to pass judgement on the dead’s wishes?? What’s the point in making a will if it isn’t going to be carried out?!

I absolutely agree with this. When my grandmother died she asked for a collection instead of flowers, to be donated to Cats Protection. My grandfather sent the collection money to the RNIB instead, which he felt was a more worthy cause.

When my grandfather died, he requested that a collection be made for the RNIB. My uncle, who was the executor, sent it to Cats Protection.

KARMA!

[TheHighestSardine]

@FinallyFluid

Is this a reverse ??

The OP is dead?

[amusedbush]

He obviously cared for her and wanted her to have the money. I'd accept it in her position.

She put in more effort to keep him company than his own bloody family.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

@reducingfootprint

They stayed in contact after her and ex broke up, he cheated

So your daughter's relationship with her Ex's grandfather was independent of her Ex from that point on. I can see why the grandfather remembered her in his will; because she remembered him in life.

You have a lovely daughter.

[dottiedodah]

A lady my friend knew ,was NDN with an elderly lady .Would run errands, check on her and so on .When she died left her house to the lady! she was shocked!

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

I don’t see what the problem is supposed to be?

[Bid876]

All these people saying about giving and donating the money, he could have done that. He choose to leave it to her, so I’m guessing he wanted her to enjoy it and do something for herself not give it away.

As for contesting his wishes, even if they do why should she give them it?

My Nan was left everything by her brother, he was her only full brother, their mum died when she was a baby and their dad remarried a horrible woman weeks later who treat them awfully. Their half siblings also weren’t any better and looked down their noses at them. At 21 my Nan married and got away, she had to wait that long because 21 was the legal age she could marry without permission. Anyway they cut her off because of her choice in husband, my grandad, her brother was the only member of her family to stay in her life and they were very close. Even when she lost several children in infancy and early childhood, they never once cared. They didn’t care about her brother either when he was old and blind living alone. He left everything to my Nan yet all her “siblings “ Contested the will, these are the same siblings who got everything from their parents who left my Nan nothing, not one of them needed money. My Nan just gave it them because she didn’t want the fight.

I was too young to understand, but now Im older it pisses me off that his wishes were not met out of spitefullness. As long as the will is legal no one should assume they have a right to someone else’s money just because they are family.

[MintyMabel]

Wow! Just what is the point of anyone making a will then?

If someone leaves money to someone else, it is entirely up to them what they do with it. He chose to leave it to her, presumably to do whatever she wants to. If she wanted to give some or all of it to his family, that is her choice.

And frankly, the person who has died will have no idea where the money goes, silly to get all “oh but that was against his wishes”

When OH’s grandma died, she left some money to OH and some to our DD and the rest to MIL. BIL got absolutely nothing because grandma was a spiteful woman who bore a too long grudge over something BIL had done when he was going through a real rough patch with his mental health about 10 years ago. She told Mil she had better not give him a penny of her money either. Of course, MIL gave him the same amount OH was given. None of this “her wishes must be respected” nonsense.

[buckeejit]

Then accept it & put it in a high interest account until any dust if there is any settles.

His family may not be aware of every aspect of his will & she'll find out soon enough if there is likely to be any animosity. Best of luck to her

[Bikingbear]

@reducingfootprint

They stayed in contact after her and ex broke up, he cheated

That says it all. She kept in touch and was a friend of the old guy regardless of how they initially met. He probably looked forward to those visits more than anything. Loneliness is a massive massive issue for old people.

Accept grateful. And hope that when her time comes people look after her.

[reducingfootprint]

They stayed in contact after her and ex broke up, he cheated

[MsTSwift]

My grandmother was left an entire cottage by a lady in their village. Set her up for life.

[Ellmau]

The one thing I would say is not to spend it or give anything away right away in case the family challenges the will.

[BloggersBlog]

Op hellooooo... Are you there ??

[RAOK]

Honour his wishes

[DartmoorDoughnut]

I absolutely agree with this. When my grandmother died she asked for a collection instead of flowers, to be donated to Cats Protection. My grandfather sent the collection money to the RNIB instead, which he felt was a more worthy cause.

When my grandfather died, he requested that a collection be made for the RNIB. My uncle, who was the executor, sent it to Cats Protection.

Love this

[jessstan1]

@eaglejulesk

"To be honest I wouldn't personally accept £15k from someone I didn't have a close relationship with, knowing that they had not left their family much.

It sounds as though his family couldn't really be bothered with him, and if that is true why should he leave them anything? An inheritance is not a right simply because you are part of someone's family.

Exactly.

To be honest I would personally accept £15 from anyone.

[FinallyFluid]

Is this a reverse ??

[KunekuneKristmasCake]

Honour his wishes

[eaglejulesk]

It would depend on the relatives situation. If they needed the money I'd give it to them. I know people will say it's going against the grandfathers wishes but he won't know about it will he?

Wow! Just what is the point of anyone making a will then?

[eaglejulesk]

"To be honest I wouldn't personally accept £15k from someone I didn't have a close relationship with, knowing that they had not left their family much.

It sounds as though his family couldn't really be bothered with him, and if that is true why should he leave them anything? An inheritance is not a right simply because you are part of someone's family.

[IWantT0BreakFree]

Well we can be thankful it wasn’t you who was put in this position!

Why are you being rude? I am not casting judgement on anybody who views the situation differently to me. OP asked what we would do in her daughter’s situation and I’ve given my thoughts which just happen to be different to yours. That’s OK isn’t it? We don’t all have to share the same opinions do we?

[IWantT0BreakFree]

"To be honest I wouldn't personally accept £15k from someone I didn't have a close relationship with, knowing that they had not left their family much."

But perhaps he didn't want his family to have much?

Perhaps he didn’t. I am just saying that I would not feel comfortable with it if I were in OP’s daughter’s position. Irrespective of the grandfather’s wishes.

This is silly. Nobody needs to make a judgment. He wrote a will - a will is exactly that - his will, what he wanted to do with his estate.

OP is asking what we would do in her daughter’s shoes. That requires us to make a judgement on the situation. Obviously it’s got absolutely no bearing on the will or on what will happen. It’s just a hypothetical conversation on an internet forum.

[Bettercallsaul1]

There’s no doubt that the OP’s kind daughter should accept the money this gentleman wished to give her. This is a lovely reminder that some good deeds do actually go unpunished.

[Myheartisbroken91]

@IWantT0BreakFree

I think it sort of depends what you mean when you say the relationship "ended badly". If your daughter caused unnecessary hurt or distress to her ex then I don't think it would be right to accept the grandfather's money, especially given that he may not have known what went on.

She is legally entitled to the money as long as the grandfather had capacity when he wrote his will. Morally, obviously an awful lot of people think it's absolutely fine so I guess she's clear on that front too. To be honest I wouldn't personally accept £15k from someone I didn't have a close relationship with, knowing that they had not left their family much. Especially given the bad blood with the ex. It just doesn't quite sit right with me and it's not a situation I would be comfortable with having been put in.

Well we can be thankful it wasn’t you who was put in this position!

However, how do you know you wouldn’t accept it? It is very easy (as shown on here multiple times daily) to say what you would do if put in a certain situation, but until you are actually in that situation you do not honestly know how you would feel!

It is a kind gift, from an elderly gentleman, who appreciated how this young woman treated him. She made an impact on him, because of this, and this is what he wanted to do! If this was my daughter I would be proud of how she had acted and I would tell her she deserved this legacy.