I think I'm broken...

[Kay0ss]

I've given everything all I have.

I'm breaking right now and I have nobody I can turn to because I have this stupid need to not ever let anyone help me.

I have a beautiful family ,parents, kids, husband and my brother and SIL who I adore ❤ I also have I fed very good friends.

I'm so fucking sad. Just so sad. My life has been filled with things I just can't tell my loved ones about and tonight is the first time in a long time I just don't want to deal with it anymore

Would it help to tell us about it?

You need to talk to someone.

Even if you just write it all down and throw it away, getting it out will help.

Can you pick one person in real life and confide in then?

I was a wild child from 14 I would smoke, drink, take drugs and sleep with whoever I wanted. Not advocating it at all but it was my life and how I felt I could couldn't control my life at that point and honestly I don't regret it.

I was raped and seriously sexually assaulted. Had an abusive marriage which ended 9 years ago.

I'm married to a lovely man now but tonight I'm just a bit of a mess and really really sad for past me and also current me who just has a bit of a messed up head 😔

I am so sorry to hear this - I can completely understand why you’re feeling so broken and sad. I think it would be helpful if you could try and see a counsellor to talk through everything that you can’t talk about with the people who are in your life now. You might find it helpful to have a Safe space where you can let it out and share how you feel. These are terrible things that happened to you and it’s too much for you to carry alone.

I'm sorry you went through that OP. It must have been tough. I agree that counselling might help you, if you feel strong enough. It's not easy i know. More and unmumsnetty (((hugs)))