Health visitor advice - your thoughts please!

[OhToBeASeahorse]

We have DS who is just 2 and DD who is nearly 2 weeks.

We arent nearly in any kind of routine yet with DD, she is on me a lot, sometimes we all do DS's bedtime together, sometimes I've managed to put her down in the Sleepyhead.

I'm aware of 4th trimester stuff but I also know that DS would only sleep on me or in the car for 9 months and it damn near broke me.

So far DD has sometimes gone down alone in her sleepyhead in the day but is clearly quite an awake baby - she did a 3 hr stretch of being awake yesterday. I cant see her nodding off on a playmat

So - to my question. I asked the HV if I could put her upstairs for daytime naps(if she lets me - would.probably be in the sleepyhead). This would give me some lovely time with DS and give DD a chance for some quiet. Door would be left open and I would be in and out of the room, would also have a monitor on.

But she said no, all naps need to be with me. For reference we are very low SIDs risk in every other way - baby is EBF, smoke free house etc etc

So.- my.question - HOW do I do it following her advice?!?!?

If you'll read my last post, you'll see they do

OhToBeASeahorse Please don’t feel like you’re failing your toddler. No-one really talks about how hard it can be at first. I remember crying and thinking I’d ruined my first born’s life. It did start to get easier (and then for me, harder and then easier again ) but now my youngest is 18m they have a lovely bond. I think it just takes time and a realisation you’ve got two small people that just need so much from you and it’s good for them to learn you can’t do everything

Thanks @Ratatcat - DS was such a hard baby and I just want to do anything I can to make DD easier. I think I'd forgotten how much a newborn needs. Thankfully DS seems quite happy with DH but it's still mummy he cries for.

I used to put mine down in the carrycot in the travel cot. Kept them safe from the older ones, and meant they were in the same room. Could you do that with the sleepyhead?

That's a brilliant idea - thank you!!! I'm also wondering if the sleepyhead might fit in the pram and out of reach...

I think the other problem is that I get really anxious about getting them to sleep so if DD has been awake for a couple of hours I panic so I'm scared to just put her down.