Things your ex accuses you of which make you wonder if they even have two brain cells knocking together

[NoEffingWay]

This morning's message-

Why do you only feed his m&s ready meals when I cook him home made dinners? Err, the food is from m&s BC I like the quality of the food, and most definitely do not have a microwave involved!
And why do you not have him in bed at 7.30? Is he spying through my windows?! (Ds goes to bed between 7.30-8pm but I don't mind so much at weekends or school holidays)

I don't even know if I should reply or just tell him to get fucked!

Anyone else's ex feel the need to mudsling?

I was rotting the children’s teeth by “giving them ice cream for breakfast” and he was going to book an emergency dentist apt immediately as he could see this on their teeth. Never did book the apt, and when they had their annual check up their teeth were all perfect, as usual.

“Stealing his clothes” is a favourite. He bought some children’s clothes from Primark about three years ago and is convinced I have taken them. He can’t accept that they probably don’t exist anymore as the children have grown out of them/worn them out.

A high point was demanding he come to my house to take “his school polo shirts”. He bought a three pack at some point and brings this up a lot, despite it being the only school uniform he ever bought, for 3 DC. (In the meantime he hoards the new clothes I buy at his, despite him only having them every second weekend.)

He is also convinced that I was frivolous with the minimum CSA payments he made (based on a fake, low self employed income) and sometimes questioned me if he thought I was wearing new clothes When I remarried, he stopped paying completely, as he says we earn more than him..

So many more, but I have lost track and also try not to engage.