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Advice please- my child in class with my bullies child

9 replies

veraismyspiritanimal · 21/10/2020 09:42

So when I was younger my life was made a misery by a certain person at school. Unfortunately my heart sank when my DD started school this year and I saw the bully on the playground with their DD. Turns out they are in the same class. This was triggering enough but now the bully is accusing my child of bullying theirs. DD is a very good natured child and their teacher tells me she gets on with all the other children and is kind so this has come as a massive shock. I feel this is just another way to make my life a misery even now we are 30 years down the line. To top it off bully and family are known troublemakers in the local area and have a massive history of anti social behaviour domestic abuse etc
I don't even know where to start but moving schools is certainly not an option

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veraismyspiritanimal · 21/10/2020 09:54

Bump 😢

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youdidask · 21/10/2020 10:00

If the school aren't seeing any bullying from your child then just ignore.

Avoid the parents and grey rock when you can't avoid.

It maybe worth mentioning to the teacher that there is a history with this parent.

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veraismyspiritanimal · 21/10/2020 10:03

I just feel so small and worthless again when I have to see these people everyday

They really are the type to cause trouble however possible

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PumpkinHat · 21/10/2020 10:06

Are you not able to request a change of class? Sorry if this seems silly I don't have any in school yet

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WhereverIGoddamnLike · 21/10/2020 10:07

Explain the situation to the school. Just be factual; dont be emotional, and tell them you're concerned that this history may be influencing the current situation.
Dont try and say that your daughter would never do anything like what she has been accused of, all our children can surprise us, but just ask that the school do their best to be vigilant in their observations because you're worried about false reporting and you're worried that there will be repercussions for your daughter.

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ScrabApple · 21/10/2020 10:16

I was all ready to come on and say that children can't be held responsible for their parents actions as children but having read your post I feel for you.
I would ask for my child to be moved classes and would be absolutely clear to the head and teachers as to why you're requesting this. I would also try and think of a reasonable cover story, and either suggest it or make it as widely known as possible so that the bully family don't latch on to the move. Perhaps your child needs particular medical care/musical knowledge /dyslexia qualifications / that teacher B is better qualified in? I've known families like this so ignore any posters who come on all righteous because ultimately you need to be pragmatic about protecting yourself and your child even if it appears that you are giving in.

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Hotchox · 21/10/2020 10:43

Yes, I'd be very tempted to have a word with the class teacher. Give some examples of what you endured if you can manage it, since otherwise it's just your word against hers and generalised allegations which the class teacher may be less inclined to believe. Obviously tell your child not to go anywhere near the other kid at all, and ask the teacher if he/she can avoid putting them in the same work groups and things like that. hope this helps

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teacherneedingaholiday · 21/10/2020 10:44

So some would move the OPs child to a different class away from her friends?

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Cam2020 · 22/10/2020 07:07

Sorry, I don't agree with PPs on moving class or making up cover stories - you are letting your formery bully control your life now and your daughter's too. What happens next year, or the year after? Are you going to request a move every year? What happens if/when your cover story is no longer relevant? This needs to be be nipped in the bud and rearranging everyone's life around them is showing you're still scared by them.

Be the adult you are now, not the child you were then. Speak to the teacher about the allegations made about your daughter and your past history with this family. As another PP has said, ignore the bully. If they bring up the bullying again, tell them to take it up with the teacher. Don't pander to their nonsense, keep any interactions short and to the point. If they don't get anything back, they'll move on to their next victim.

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