I've got a driving test next Monday. I'm so stressed and want to cancel.

[Sunhorse]

I am 42. It's ridiculous that I don't have a driving licence - I'm an adult with a well paid responsible job, children, and a morgage. Being able to drive would make my life easier in so many ways, I know this. But I'm just absolutely shit at it.

I'm scared all the time and I struggle with really basic things like working out which way to turn the wheel when parking. I've been learning for almost a year and had over eighty hours of lessons (and have changed instructor in this time) and I'm still fucking awful at it and I hate it.

I've got a test booked for next Monday. My instructor insists that I'm ready and I just lack confidence, but I'm not; I'm just not, and I feel sick thinking about it.

I want to cancel it, but DH thinks this is stupid and I should just take it and if I fail then I fail (I will fail). But I think that a failure now will knock me so much I'll just give up completely and it's better to cancel and book one at a later date when I feel more confident.

Arrrrgh! I'm just in such a tizz! I hate that I'm being like this. I think I'm being rational but I can also see that it doesn't look rational from the outside. What should I do?

Honestly, it will help you so much to go through a test, even if you don't pass. Driving tests can get built up in people's heads, but to be honest, I found mine easier than a lesson. It was much shorter, and it went quickly. I passed with just 4 minors, despite being completely terrified and certain I wasn't going to pass.

If you're really struggling with the anxiety, your GP may be able to help and give you something to minimise the nerves. That might be worth a try.

Definitely do it

I was like you and the nerves was horrendous. I failed leaving the actual test centre!! I had to turn right out of it and pulled out with someone coming who had to brake. Poor instructor..

But, it relaxed me for the rest of the test as I had no pressure left and it made me see there was plenty of it I could do. I also felt much better for the next one as I had more information in my brain such as where you go, what they explain to you etc. Plus the second time when I managed to get out of the test centre without screwing it up the relief from that carried me through.

And yes to banana!

@gggrrrargh I did that too on one of mine, failed within about 20m of the test centre, instructor felt I had gone too close to a parked car (still don’t think I did) and had to touch the wheel so instant fail!

So there you go OP, you can’t do any worse than that and we got there in the end!

What's the worst thing that can happen? You fail the test.

I failed my first test, aged 37. But the experience of the test made my second test much less stressful, and I passed it.

Best of luck!

How are you feeling @Sunhorse?

Ring your GP and ask for some beta blockers. They help to minimise the physical symptoms of anxiety (mainly the racing heart rate you feel) and makes it feel more manageable.
I passed 3rd time at age 33 and it was the beta blockers that stopped me feeling like i would die that helped I think.

OH MY GOD, I PASSED!!!!!

I still never want to drive a car again (it's fun inside my head) but that's an issue for another time...

Thanks so much to everyone above for all the encouragement. It was SO appreciated. I ate the banana and had the Rescue Remedy and told myself that I needed to thinking it as a practice - thank you for those top tips!

I cried all the way home and now I'm going to cry a bit more and have a nap as I had about twenty minutes sleep last night

Well, that is brilliant. After your nap you need to get in the car alone and go for a drive. Passing is only the start. You now need to gain experience.

Congratulations!

Just ordered Rescue Remedy for DD and will make her have a banana for breakfast too.

Amazing!!!

Congratulations!! 🎉 My dd was the same as you, took 2 years of lessons and 4 tests. Now she’s doing little drives every day to keep her confidence up and more unfamiliar drives with me in the car. You’ve done so well considering how difficult you find it. My dd has gone from being terrified of driving to driving to uni today on motorways/dual carriageways. We try to focus on why driving is so important for her - independence etc You must be a safe good driver to have passed - keep going 💐

Yay, congratulations!!

Omg OP! Well done! So pleased for you!

Only just seen your thread - but huge congratulations!!!!! 🥳

So pleased, well done!

Well done for passing OP! I passed 4 years ago and it's one of the best things I've ever done. I drive everywhere now, at first I thought I'd never be brave enough to do motorways, it's taken me a few years but I now do the 3.5 hour motorway drive to my DPs. Enjoy your freedom!

congratulations!

That’s really incredible news. Well done OP. My whole life changed after I learned to drive

Well done!!
Go for a short drive tomorrow, quiet time of day round the block. And then each day go a little further. Perseverance is key 😊

It was ages ago and I was 20 at the time but I was in a similar situation. I was really shit at it. My instructor suddenly found me a cancellation driving test and I had about 5 days notice.
The day before my dad took me out for a practice And made me cry because I just could not parallel park at all. We were both convinced at that point that I would fail. I had had exactly 88 lessons and was pretty much in despair at the whole thing.

And against all the odds I actually did pass, just.
Don’t worry too much about failing, my husband took 3 attempts but is now an excellent driver. But your instructor would not have let you do your test unless he thought a reasonable chance you’d pass. Best of luck.

OMG I did not rtfs but congratulations !!!

Congratulations!

Wooo! Congratulations! Plus you can be one of those smug types who says ‘oh I passed first time’ (bitter, moi? )

Yes yes to practice tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that. It’d be SUCH a waste for you to get this far then let yourself get rusty... I’m an anxious person, I completely get it, but I try to have the mantra of ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’

Well done you!!

You have come this far, spent money on lessons, your instructor thinks you are ready, so take the test OP.

What’s the worst that can happen, you fail & retake it, it really doesn’t matter.

Good luck OP, just do your best, we all have to do it to get a pass.

When you pass drive everyday, even short trips just to increase your confidence. You may not ever love driving, I don’t either, but it does make life a lot easier.

Good luck for Monday 🚘

X post brilliant well done you! 🚘🍾💐