Imposter syndrome vs just being crap

[RaisinGhost]

I've been thinking about my job problems lately, I am no good at my job and I have no confidence (anywhere, but especially at work). I opened up to a friend about it and she said it's imposter syndrome. My DH has said similar things although he hadn't heard that term before, I must be good or at least ok but I just don't know it.

I didn't press it with either of them because I didn't want to go on about myself more and seem like I wasn't taking advice, but I left both conversations frustrated and feel like no one understands me.

I know that does exist but it's still possible to just be crap. Everyone can't be great, but just doesn't know it, right?

I don't understand what people are talking about half the time. I don't know how to do a lot of things but I get other staff to do those things for me (we swap jobs around so I do their work). No I haven't got the sack but I work for the government and no one ever gets the sack here no matter how crap you are. You'd have to steal the boss' car or something, even then if you gave it back they'd probably let you stay.

Is imposter syndrome over discussed? Some people think they are crap and are, right? Like me.

Best bet is to look around in your department for someone you genuinely think is pretty awful at their work (whether they present like that or not) and this will help you realise that if THEY can do it then you surely can too because they are awful and you are not.

However if you can't find anyone in your department like that then perhaps you are the awful one?

I see a lot of incompetent people at my work bluster their way through with pretending to look busy, network etc they go high places but are very bad at the actual work.

I think I luffs OP's boss scheduling the appraisals during her annual leave. That is genius.

Maybe there need to be several tiers for competency at work

1. Amazing
2. Good. Virtually always Good enough (most of imposter syndrome sufferers are here, but also, most everyone here does not have imposter syndrome)
3. Barely good enough, Often Crap but not annoying or difficult; mediocre majority
4. Bastards everyone else wishes would leave

As long as you're not in category 4, you're doing ok.

I reckon you can learn things OP, don't be so self-defeatist. Don't you aspire to have a job you could enjoy more? I failed at waitressing too, but I can do very well quite technical and written work. Different situation & skills required.

ThatScottishGirl how interesting, I can see how your first experience contributed to this. It ends up being a vicious cycle. How did you resolve this, if you did, or are you like me and just getting by day to day?

100% just getting by. If my boss did try to sack me though I would just explain that I’ve had no training.

lljkk I would say I'm a solid 3.

I think I luffs OP's boss scheduling the appraisals during her annual leave. That is genius.
Yep, is she crap and bonkers or is she a genius? Sometimes the line is so thin!

ThatScottishGirl This sounds insane but I almost wish I'd be fired, or at least confronted about this. That would force some sort of change.

Yes!! I’m with you.

Yes it is possible to be crap. The levels of incompetence in this country are staggering. Customer service is not worth anything. No one can do anything correctly.

Imposter syndrome is something different, and is seen in highly intellectual, ambitious people, and who are generally brilliant at what they do. It is the fear that drives you to achieve. It’s a lot different from wallowing in self pity.

popcornlover, my thread is more about how frustrating it is to talk to people or get advice on career issues, as everyone just fobs you off saying you have imposter syndrome and "stop worrying because everyone feels the exact same way". When clearly that isn't true. But thanks (?) for you post.

Maybe the issue isn't your poor view of your own performance, but your belief that anyone else is any better

Seriously, if your feedback is ok, what's the issue? Retrain if you want to, or stay, but try not to worry too much.

I see you feel frustrated by people telling you not to worry, but what else can they say?

Because if no issues are being raised by your manager, there are no work issues. So either you change your circumstances, or you change your attitude, or you carry on the same.

Seriously, if your feedback is ok, what's the issue?

I suppose the issue is, I'd like to spend my day not stressed and wondering wtf is going on. But so many people claim they feel this way, I'm wondering is this a realistic goal. Maybe it's just a normal part of work?

I see you feel frustrated by people telling you not to worry, but what else can they say?

Fair comment. It's hard to know what to say sometimes when a friend has a problem, obviously you don't want to be mean.

I suppose if a friend came to me and I wanted to comfort them, I'd say things like "hmm that sounds frustrating" "what are you going to do". Not "you are imagining it".

It sounds to me like your boss is part of the problem.

I’m in a similar position, been in a public sector role for a year and still struggle. I’m trying to ask for more help, from different people. So I pick on different people and ask for a 15 min video call to run through whatever. Asking different people means that I can say “just never got to grips with this one bit”. Could you do that?

Thanks greyishdays that's a good tip.