Am I weird?

[martysouth]

I'm nearly 60 now so it's kind of ok because I've got a fairly nice life but ever since I was a young teenager I've felt really weird and freaky. I'd really like to know if anyone feels the same.

In films, books, songs, popular culture, on MN, everywhere it seems totally normal that man love sex so much they will flirt with and pursue any women. Whereas women apparently aren't really bothered and have to be persuaded.

My whole life (until I was about 55) it's been the opposite for me. I love men, I love sex. I have often been in situations where I'd love to have fun like you read about in fiction or see in films. Only to have men become prissy and reticent.

For most of my adult life I have assumed that I have never been pestered for sex because I'm ugly. Now at age nearly 60 I look back and can see that although I was never stunning I was reasonably well presented, friendly and pleasant, sociable and ok looking.

Why have I never in my whole life had men desperate to pursue me? Apparently it's really annoying and one of the hazards of being a woman. But for me, men weren't really that keen. They wanted to be just friends. Apart from DH.

Has anyone else been in that situation? It's been a real problem for me. Loads of friends, happy life but men have never really been keen on me like you see in films. For example having to avoid their calls, hide from them, brush away their hands. Why is this?

Oh my god I totally agree.

I am attractive for sure : but if I flirt with men too much they run a mile. They are just too intimidated. From what I gather, men LOVE the chase and NEED to be in control. As soon as they feel objectified, they lose interest.

I have tried several times to sleep with blokes, encouraging them etc - but they just seem too intimated by it.

As soon as you ignore them, they come running again.

I do think it's natural for men to pursue women. Either socialisation or evolution, god knows.

As a teenager I attended a summer school. There was an equal mix of boys and girls.

However there were no summer school romances as all of the boys pursued the same girl the whole time! She was not interested in any of them but it didn’t put them off.

Now it can’t have been the case that all of the rest of us girls were ‘weird’. I think there was some primal competitive element at play among the boys.

I have known women who attract tons of men and tbh the thing that they had in common was the snooty, lack of interest air that they gave off, rather than being stunning /average - but these women didn't really date much anyway? And certainly didn't sleep around like I wanted to

Why don't men wake up and date the goers like us on this thread?

grassisjewelled too true! I was a goer in my youth but it was wasted. Men say that's what they are looking for but in fact they go for the ice maidens.

@martysouth

grassisjewelled too true! I was a goer in my youth but it was wasted. Men say that's what they are looking for but in fact they go for the ice maidens.

I wonder if it's because they are looking for approval and when they don't get it they pursue it forever..............

...that's where I went wrong then ! When I did have a boyfriend I was always too compliant. I should have been a biatch :)

Have to agree about being an ice maiden working. Didn’t realise at the time. It wasn’t any kind of choice I just found men bloody irritating and relationships because you had to devote time and energy to them. I always just wanted to do what I wanted to do and saw them as a hinderance. I am amazed I ever found a man I liked enough to marry but I did though I turned him down twice.

No one wants people as partners that behave really badly but being very compliant is predictable and not fun.