Realised I’m going to have to fight being overweight all of my life

[1990s]

I’ve been four or five stone overweight all of my adult life. I’ve recently lost about 2 stone, but I’ve realised that I’m going to have to fight to be a healthy weight, all of the time, for the rest of my life.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for from this post. Maybe similar experiences?

I am in a very similar postion OP

The menopause is making it even harder to loose weight.

I actually don’t know if I can be bothered anymore but I know I need to do it to be healthy.

Yes it sucks doesn't it. I'm sick of hearing 'You need to eat three meals a day to keep your metabolism up'. Err no, if I did that I'd be the size of an elephant.

Life doesn’t stop.

Passed are my days of being size 6/8 skinny supermodel.

Approaching menopause as well

Have to watch my food intake,no more stuffing my face with whatever.

Had to lose some weight and found that thinking constantly about “dieting” makes me think about food all the time so I ate more. Vicious circle.

What are you struggling with OP?

I think this is most people!

Glad to see replies, but a bit sad other people are finding it hard!

I’m finding hard the realisation that every day, I will need to restrict myself pretty much all of the time, forever.

It’s not a case of for now, or for a certain goal, or for a month. I can’t really eat high calorie food the very vast majority of the time, or I will be overweight and it’ll impact my health.

I’ve always enjoyed sweet things, and I wonder if I should just give them up completely and try to get some acceptance of that as I have no off button.

What do you think this "fight" is? You say you have no "off button", so I would say this fight begins there. Are you using food to comfort yourself or to ward off boredom? I think it's critical to understand that food is not your friend. It's not a substitute for things that might be lacking.

OP, looks like you’ve reach the point “health orpleasure”.
What’s your priority and how much you have to comply?Can you have occasional lapse or is it a no-no route?
That’s very sensible of you that you realise there might be a problem.
As they say “everything in moderation” (don’t let be me a moderator though). If you find it difficult ti stop (like drinking or smoking) it might be better of you come off it for a while.

Yes. Been on a diet most of the time for the last 17 years. I’m a size 14. I’m fed up with it.
I lose the weight. Keep it off then put it back on again. To be honest I wouldn’t still be trying if it wasn’t due to the extra weight making my hips hurt.

But. I refuse point blank to stop having dinner out with my husband. I don’t want to refuse a piece of birthday cake. I don’t want to die and have missed out on so much because I was chasing a gap between my thighs. And having turned down evenings out. Or lunch with my friends before because of being on a diet I will not do it anymore.

There is a balance. And for a while I find it. But. It has got to the point where losing weight is all I think about. And if is making me sad about my life and what I am actually doing with it. Spending my life counting calories and checking my weight is making me so miserable I cannot even explain how miserable.

I have the added stress of having a ton of allergies and medical problems that are made worse with food. As an example I cannot have a healthy bowl or fruit for breakfast or porridge as that would have a massive effect on my bladder and I wouldn’t be able to leave the house for the rest of the day ... but I can have sausages ( certain ones ) birds eye waffles , egg and beans for breakfast.which as most are empty calories I just end up hungry.
I fight a losing battle everyday against the food I can eat and I’m losing. I would love a big plate of vegetables but my ibs would have me on the floor in tears if I did that.
I don’t have an answer. But I know how u feel.

Sorry. Yes, all of us have to restrict pretty much all the time.

It is a bit depressing. I have a tendency to put weight on and I take after my mum who was the same. It's a constant battle OP but don't despair. If you overindulge with one meal just be extra good with the next. I like sweet things too but try to avoid them during during the week and have one small treat at weekends.

You're certainly not alone. I need to learn to love exercise and doubt that will ever happen. Don't beat yourself up.

What do you think this "fight" is? You say you have no "off button", so I would say this fight begins there. Are you using food to comfort yourself or to ward off boredom? I think it's critical to understand that food is not your friend. It's not a substitute for things that might be lacking.

I think you have to completely right there Aquamarine, it’s a fight against myself and how I view food. I think I need to retrain into the fuel mentality.

Any tips on how great fully received!

I’m quite happy with exercise which is good.

I think PPs who talk about all or nothing are right. I can’t manage moderation and that means for me having that piece of cake isn’t worth it as it leads to a lot more, to the point it makes me unhealthy/obese and less likely to live long/well.

I am short. I was a fat child and teenager. Lost the weight in my mid twenties- all fine. Had 3 DC and managed to lose any weight. Come the menopause and I put on 2 stone. Just couldn't lose it. Had more or less accepted it but then tried 5:2 fasting. I am now back to a 6/8 and have been for the last 5 years. So yes you will always need to be aware of what you eat but you can maintain a loss. You just can never go back to your old habits. Exercise helps a bit

You have to "choose your hard".

Watching what you eat every day is hard. Being overweight is also hard. Choose which one you prefer.

I'm not being flippant, I've resigned myself to it too. I've realised that it's a lot easier if I don't eat sugar, dairy and grains. I then don't have to calorie count or restrict my portions. I can still have a glass of wine for example. But no, I can't eat takeaways or chocolate or cake, certainly not all the time/daily/weekly even.

I'm 3 stone lighter, size 8, and I work hard to stay that way. Being overweight was miserable for me.

I've lost around 6 stone, realised today that I've probably got another 3 to go. And then I'll need to restrict my eating forever.
I've lost similar amounts a couple of times but never kept it off so I'm trying to build in some small things that will help.
I walk everywhere and walk for pleasure too. I've been doing yoga for a few months.
I think I can maintain afterwards with 5:2 and a Mediterranean style diet.
I like the advic up thread about choosing your hard. That resonates with me.

I did a 5 day Stop the sugar plan with Lauren Gayfer, she teaches you to nourish your body, ditch the diets and the scales, if you have been yo-yo dieting you need to retrain and heal your body through good nutritious foods, you may not lose weight at first but you will have heaps more energy and feel great that you are eating a healthy diet, once you get into this, the weight loss should be gradual and sustainable. My sugar cravings have completely disappeared, I sometimes make treats from her website but I don’t always feel like them, last week I ate some because I’d made them, this week I won’t bother as feeling satisfied with the way I’m eating now and I’m able to combine this way of eating with fasting 16/8.

Yep. I spent £16,000 on surgery so I didn't have to do this any more.

I've literally spent 30 years dieting, just couldn't take it anymore - had developed arthritis in all joints

I'd managed to lose 2 stone over 2 years of eating 1400-1500 calories a day but I couldn't exercise anymore because of the arthritis

I just couldn't do it anymore. Even though the surgery and recovery has been incredibly hard I hope it's going to be better eventually.

Same here , I realised this a very long time ago though.. I don't know wether it's because I'm 5 foot or genetics but I have to eat very little or else I gain weight very quickly .. shit but there you go 🤷‍♀️

@1990s, have you ever tried 16:8 fasting? You say you have an all or nothing mentality which means you'll probably be good at it! You basically fast for 16 hours, then eat what you want in the remaining 8 hours. I can't stand dieting and having to watch calories etc, it's so relentless and dismal. I find 16:8 brilliant. I've been doing it for a couple of weeks and I've lost about 4 pounds (and I had last weekend off). I'm fasting between 8pm and 12pm the next day. Even though I used to be starving for breakfast I'm adapting and now feel less hungry in the mornings. I drink water, tea and coffee during the fast. Why don't you try it?