Dc taking fucking ages to eat dinner

[ImFree2doasiwant]

I have 2 small DC, 3 and 5. I didn't used to eat dinner with them when young as i would be feeding the younger a d up and down etc

I've been making an effort for us to eat together, and having more of a variety of food. They are pretty good eaters in that they'll try most things and have a wife range of food they like.

Recently though, they have both got into the habit of taking ages over a meal. Picking at it, playing with cutlery, poking their plates. It's driving up the wall to be honest and I dread sitting down to eat with them.

How do I address this. If I leave them to it they will take an hour. If I try and jolly them a long I end up getting annoyed.

We do eat breakfast and lunch together, and used to all day together 2 or 3 times a week. Now it's most nights.

I leave DD to it for an hour, while I potter about or lay on the sofa. We have a lounge diner, so the table is about 8ft away from me, as a single parent I tell myself, I'm no Mary Poppins, that relieves the guilt and the stress

In an ideal world, I would like to sit there, but I get more done if Im tidying up, then we go up to bed together about 19.00, as Im so knackered and we spend time reading on the bed or having a cuddle before bed, then Im not stressed about having to go back down and tidy up.

Give them a set time and take the plates away?

One time my DD took from 8.30am to 11.10am to eat a bowl of cereal... She had lunch at 12

I clear up the kitchen and then walk away. I literally can’t. (Kids are older now and I can still see them.)

But yes, they’re 10 and 8 now, so maybe I’d have been better off setting a time limit years ago...

I was wondering about a time limit. But wasn't sure if that was wrong somehow. I did put a timer on today and they did get on with it more. I'm so fed up of it though, sitting there with them just faffing around.

It is annoying, but equally eating quickly is linked to obesity, so maybe just let them get on with it at their own pace?

Are they actually hungry? Do they eat some then play with the rest?

They are hungry, they had lunch at 12, we had dinner at 5.30. They ate it all and had sonething else afterwards.

I don't want them to eat quickly, but I do want them to be eating. Not just sitting there messing about.

At 3 and 5 mine were pretty tired at 5.30 and so it took them ages to eat for that reason. I ended up feeding the 3 year old (and even at 4) a lot.

Why not go back to kids tea at 5pm and you eat later once they’re in bed?

I'm trying to streamline my evenings. I'm exhausted. I'm also conscious that eating as a family (it's just us 3) is important, and it means that they get a better variety of food.

Bedtime is getting towards 8pm as they just weren't tired at 7/7 30 . Often they don't fall to sleep til 8.15/8.30

If we're eating together, we all sit while we're all eating, but once DH and I have finished, we largely leave DD(7) to it - we're around, but getting on with other things. If she's eating before us, I take my laptop to the table and sit with her - largely so I don't go insane; I completely understand the frustration! DD has sensory issues with food, so I'm not keen to go down the timer route.

Your kids seem to enjoy their food. Eating is sensory and should instil a sense of joy. I'd be more concerned if, at their age, they were quick and regimented. Let them be, it's natural - albeit highly annoying.

I’d suggest a time limit, or bringing forward meal time as they may be too tired to eat.

I did a course called Fantastic Food Finders at the children’s centre as DS was a very fussy eater, and they recommended a meal time should be no more than 20-30 mins. If they haven’t eaten by then then they aren’t hungry enough or are too tired, hence bring mealtime forward. That was their theory anyway.

We introduced a timer about a month ago. Dinner time was getting unpleasant as the kids were taking an hour to eat, and DH and I would have to chase every mouthful.

We talked to them about it, introduced a timer - 25 minutes - and if they finished in that time they'd get a star. 30 stars = Lego.

Their dinners are small, seconds are always available but don't count for the timer.

It has vastly improved dinner time. DH and I have to give a gentle nudge every so often, but meal times are much nicer, and quicker!

Sounds a good way forward. I had an issue with one of them a while back, and ended up telling him.i wasn't going to have meal times like this anymore, he'd get 1 warning then it's taken away, and nothing else. He really got loads better very quickly but now the 2 of them are both at it.

I don't think it's too much to ask that they sit and eat. They play all day pretty much. Ds1 had eaten 1 piece of carrot in the first 10 minutes at the table. I don't give them huge portions either, (their GM does and it seems to overwhelm them)

Yeah, a couple of years back I really reduced portion size and made the decision to always have second helpings on offer. It worked to help their enthusiasm, but didn't help too much with the speed!