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Original poster

NURSERY DON'T WANT RETURN MONEY

50 replies

Afforde · 15/10/2020 09:25

Hiya, Can anyone help with the advice, please?
My DS started nursery trial sessions and after the last one, I decided to stop it because he did cry a lot in the nursery. I paid a deposit and one monthly fee.
The admin saying now that she can give me only the deposit back and not the monthly fee because in the contract it says we need to tell her about the cancellation in advance like a month. BUT we had only a few settling sessions and did not know if we would carry on or not.
I don't know what to say...

OP posts:

OverTheRubicon · 15/10/2020 10:45

The nursery had to make sure it was fully staffed for your child. It's really hard for them right now with covid, you've been lucky to get your deposit back, which they'd didnt need to do.

HeIsNotTheSun · 15/10/2020 10:48

How old is your child?

I mean if he’s a baby and doesn’t really need to be in nursery then fine but if he’s preschool then I wouldn’t be rushing him out on the basis that he’s upset.

Nursery is so good for them. I see new P1s at school crying and clinging to parents but they need to go to school 🤷🏻‍♀️

Zilla1 · 15/10/2020 10:48

OP, depending on how the contract is worded, could you tell them you read it that the monthly fee would be applied if the settling sessions were successful and see what they say.

Good luck.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families

m0therofdragons · 15/10/2020 10:51

We we’re uncomfortable with dd1’s first nursery so pulled her after a week. We didn’t get the month’s money back and as we had to give 4 weeks notice I expected an invoice for an extra week (which they didn’t actually ask for). I’m surprised you got your deposit back. They will have planned staffing (who they will pay) for the number of children in their care. If they’d neglected your dc that’s a different thing.

wildthingsinthenight · 15/10/2020 10:53

Ex Nursery Manager here.
I'm afraid you're unlikely to get your money back. All sounds normal and above board from Nursery side.
I think you should try more settling in time maybe half days at first.

LEELULUMPKIN · 15/10/2020 11:03

You say "Thank you for giving me the deposit back, I am an absolute idiot for not reading/clarifying/adhering to your contract terms".

ConfusedcomMum · 15/10/2020 11:10

Wow, I'm glad my nursery is more understanding then. Their 'settle in' period is for both parties to see if the nursery is a right fit for the child and the only money they take prior to it is a small admin fee for the application paperwork. Mind you they have a waiting list so they're not short of customers.

rashalert · 15/10/2020 11:33

OP. What do you think would be fair? What would you like to happen?

NotOfThisWorld · 15/10/2020 11:37

It's unfortunate OP but that's how these things work. If another child had tried to sign up for the nursery they wouldn't have been able to give them a slot because DS was down for that place.

Since you've lost that money I'd persist for the next month (but give them notice now) to see if DS settles better once he's more used to it.

Devlesko · 15/10/2020 11:39

If it was settling in, they should give you your money back, how on earth would they know you'd be taking up the offer and your child would settle.
I hate the idea of children having to get used to an environment that upsets them.
Many parents justify it in the way of "lot's cry" Well done, for putting your child first.

LoseLooseLucy · 15/10/2020 11:45

What everyone else said. Sorry OP but this is why it’s important to read/clarify issues where money is involved.

Carrotcakey · 15/10/2020 11:46

You won’t be able to get it back if the contract says a months notice which is standard. They will have declined other children to lol after yours.

Most children do cry a bit when they start. No one here can tell you if what you’re experiencing is normal separation or the child not liking that specific nursery. If it’s a good nursery then I think you should stick with it a bit longer than a couple of short sessions though.

Do you not have to go to work? My eldest didn’t love her first nursery and I moved her at the first opportunity but I had to find another one with space.

SVRT19674 · 15/10/2020 11:49

I cried like a lunatic when at nursery and my mother pulled me out. Worst disservice she ever did. I was four when I finally went to preschool and it was even harder then as I was even more attached to being with her. My daughter went at 5.5 months when my statutory maternity leave came to an end and because of that she is such a happy soul at nursery, she really enjoys it. During lockdown one morning she got her bag and sat in her puschchair and motioned to be taken to nursery, like come on what are you waiting for! The nursery teachers tell me most only cry when the parents are there and are then distracted by the other kids and exploring anyway.

NoSleepInTheHeat · 15/10/2020 11:56

You mention a trial in your thread title but settling in sessions are not a trial, did they specifically said it was?
If not I'm afraid you won't get the notice month back.

CallmeFP · 15/10/2020 12:01

Sounds like you didn’t give him time to settle? Perhaps you could put him back in and see if he does settle eventually?

Whocutdownthecherrytree · 15/10/2020 12:24

Your child took the place of another that could have been settled and still attending the centre. That’s when those terms exist in the contract. You signed a contract. Deal with it

MintyMabel · 15/10/2020 12:25

Deposits are often refundable. They are usually offset against a balance of payments.

Whocutdownthecherrytree · 15/10/2020 12:25

I also agree with others, my daughter took 2 months to settle, it was very hard but then she grew to love it and I need to work

Caroncanta · 15/10/2020 12:28

What does the contract say?

OverTheRainbow88 · 15/10/2020 12:31

Our circumstances changed so we didn’t take up
A nursery place and lost our deposit, which we were expecting. Baby never did any settling in sessions but had they I would have expected to give notice- ours is A month as well and would loose that money:

nevermorelenore · 15/10/2020 12:37

I think you are lucky to get your deposit back. Losing a month is a pain, but from the nursery's perspective, they still have to pay rent etc.

Unless your DS absolutely hates it or is getting distressed, I wouldn't give up. Nursery is good for them. My DS cried in the first few settling in sessions and I thought it'd be a disaster. But then he did a full day (I worried the whole time about him!) and when I picked him up, he was fine. The shorter sessions didn't give him enough time to settle while the longer session allowed him time to get used to me being gone, if that makes sense. If you have to still pay, you may as well still send him.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 15/10/2020 12:46

The nursery are right. If you the notice period is a month then you need to pay for month whether you send your kid or not.

But why have you removed you child? Because of crying? Almost every child does that. It's worse at the settling in sessions because they're sometimes shorter. After a few weeks, they stop crying and start really enjoying the socialising and learning. Why have you stopped it?

Aveena · 15/10/2020 13:26

OP, depending on how the contract is worded, could you tell them you read it that the monthly fee would be applied if the settling sessions were successful and see what they say.

Good luck.*

Don’t encourage this. Enough PPs have explained clearly why.

Also echo the PPs pointing out that crying is unfortunately common at first but looking at the bigger picture, nursery is very valuable for socialisation and development.

That’s all assuming this post isn’t a wind up...

Zilla1 · 15/10/2020 13:33

Aveena, If an OP wants help then unless they are clearly wrong then I'll try and help. Arguably in this case, if the OP had a different understanding of what commitment was involved and the nature of the taster sessions then she may choose to ask the question. If the contract wasn't clear to the layperson/consumer then this will be an opportunity for the nursery to be upfront about the commitment and for the contract be be made clearer. If they were then the OP won't have a leg to stand on. Unless I've missed it, the OP didn't post the contract wording so all the PPs proclaiming certainty about the contract might be shall we say mistaken.

Aveena · 15/10/2020 15:02

I’m all for clarity in the contract but like the vast majority on this thread I’d be very surprised if that’s been the problem. And OP did say herself The admin saying now that she can give me only the deposit back and not the monthly fee because in the contract it says we need to tell her about the cancellation in advance like a month I’m just very sceptical that that’s been written in a non-standard way that makes it so unclear. It doesn’t sound like they’re a brand new business who could cite naivety.

Sorry, but in all likelihood she’s just bloody lucky to be getting the deposit back. Many settings have been right through the ringer this year and before with the underfunding on 30 hours etc.

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