Scare me stupid with your smoking/drinking/lifestyle choices stories

[Bluepony2]

Desperately attempting to turn my life around here...

I have been drinking heavily for a couple of years off and on. I can easily drink a bottle of whisky in one sitting, not every day but at my worse upward of 5 x week, also can drink wine, beer etc.

With the drinking comes the smoking, when drinking can easily smoke 20+ ciggies in one evening.

Cigarette smoking had also creeped into daily habits because of immense stress of the last few years.

So ashamed to say this, but on top of all this, was recreational drug use, its very acceptable to use cocaine within my social circle. This has been going on a few times a month, off and on for the last 5 years or so.

I've had enough. More than enough. I am done.

I have been here before though, and each time, I find myself back in the cycle.

The end of day drink will creep in, followed by a ciggy, followed by prehaps someone from our social circle showing up, which can lead to other things.

I have been 'clean' for 4 days today, absolutely not unheard of, but today ive been very stressed dealing with something huge and the urge to go and buy cigarette was enormous, it left me absolutely knackered. Im proud to report I didnt do it.

Tonight I have stumbled across of thread someone wrote about being a smoker and concerned pain were because of lung cancer - I read people stories of smoking etc, all none judgemental, some experiences of others, some experiences from other smokers, all incredibly supportive and it gave me so much strength to read these stories and feel proud that so far, I am managing not to fall down the rabbit hole.

So, please may I ask for your stories?
Quit smoking? Tell me about it
Lost someone to drink? Tell me about it
Struggling to quit something? Tell me about it
Social drug taker who spiraled? Tell me about it
Tell me any stories you can think of to really help me (and prehaps others) commit to this change.

I'm sat here desperately trying to curb my ciggy cravings.

So please, kind people of MN with no judgement of my situation (its been really hard for me to write this thread tbh) tell me you stories..

Help me quit everything.

Know a very heavy drinker who has been clean 15 years now, is super fit, super attractive and now has an amazing life! 🤷‍♀️

No judgement here, I think that’s its brave and admirable that you posted.

I tried to stop smoking so many times over the years and tried so many different methods but the only thing that actually worked is vaping. Seriously, give it a try.

You could also use the current situation to help break the cycle of meeting up regularly with your social circle with the bad habits.

@BabyLlamaZen

Know a very heavy drinker who has been clean 15 years now, is super fit, super attractive and now has an amazing life! 🤷‍♀️

I so hope, one day, I shall be this person too!

I'm so tired of living this way.

I also need Ivf to get pregnant, and would love to do so, but I know firstly, I need to give up this lifestyle.

Apparently the ideal is looking after yourself for at least 3 months before going through ivf. I won't go through ivf unless I have done this as a minimum.

It hasn't happened yet because I keep repeating the pattern.

I know more than a few women who were heavy on the drink and lite on the drug side (mainly coke).

It only took one thing, a bereavement, job loss or relationship breakdown - and it was like their entire lives went into free fall - and they seemed powerless to get out until they turned into people who were unrecognisable, and not in a good way.

One had a marriage breakdown, went a bit wild (to be expected), had a few random spirited encounters and caught HIV.

Another had the archetypal bad boyfriend - cock lodger of epic proportions, couldn't say for certain but it was rumoured she started smoking crack - her close friends were beside themselves.

Another just was constantly being bailed out by grandparents for childcare, rent and every slight bump in the road - it was like they regressed to a Mardy 15 year old.

I don't know whether it was clinging on to a lost youth, or hormone changes, mental health challenges or what - but something just changed, and off the rails they went

@chipolte

No judgement here, I think that’s its brave and admirable that you posted.

I tried to stop smoking so many times over the years and tried so many different methods but the only thing that actually worked is vaping. Seriously, give it a try.

You could also use the current situation to help break the cycle of meeting up regularly with your social circle with the bad habits.

Thank you for kind words.

I have tried vaping over the years..
A long time ago, prehaps 8 years+ I gave up for 3 months. I dont know how I got back into smoking.

Since then I have had several vapes. My latest one i spent about £60 on, but I just can't get on with it! I don't understand really how to use them, the liquid seems to leak from the top, I get it on my fingers and lips, sometimes it makes the cravings worse as it doesn't have quite the same kick for me...

...I shall find it out of the cupboard again and give it another go, it might help during the really desperate times!

Dh has heart failure from excess booze and fags. Now his diet is all low fat and alcohol/vape free while he waits for two heart ops so he can function.

He’s 55 and I did warn him it would catch up with him.

He’s very unimpressed with the wholemeal bread.

It took me quite a few attempts to quit smoking, all in all I smoked quite heavily for 12 years. It might not work for everyone but in the end for me I thought ‘just don’t’. It was kind of the realisation that it was as simple as each time I wanted a cigarette, just deciding not to! So I’d acknowledge that I wanted one and just say to myself, but I’m not going to, and then find something else to do. One cigarette at a time!

I also woke up to the fact I am not a ‘just the one’ kind of person. I’ve been in many situations where I could have had a cheeky smoke but I know it won’t be just one and that’s how I slid back into it after all my failed attempts, so I’ll never have another again. It’s been nearly 11 years now!

@Fluffycloudland77

Dh has heart failure from excess booze and fags. Now his diet is all low fat and alcohol/vape free while he waits for two heart ops so he can function.

He’s 55 and I did warn him it would catch up with him.

He’s very unimpressed with the wholemeal bread.

My DP is 51, and smokes like a trooper, occasionally does the recreational drugs - only recently- and can drink like a fish.

I need this to stop for him, especially, im so worried something will come to his health and ill loose him.

I'm younger than he is, not that it is an insurance against health problems, but how can he keep getting away with it.

If he sees me making lifestyle changes, I know he will follow when he sees me doing well, hes already stated he wants to cut back his smoking.

I lost my beloved DH to lung cancer last year caused mainly by smoking from the age of 9. He worked in a dirty environment too for years as a powder coater, which gave him industrial asthma, but it was the cigs that gave him the cancer. It was a horrific and upsetting time and he gave up as soon as he was diagnosed (using Champix) but the damage was done. I miss him every day and my own life has gone to shit since, I am so unhappy and lonely. I always hated him smoking (am a non smoker myself) but he couldn't or wouldn't give up before.

Good luck with turning your life around, you can do it!

I smoked for 35 years. Stopped a few months ago. After the initial week or so it was fine, the habit and physical craving eased away. But the so-called pleasure beckons fiercely. I miss it and think if it daily and sometimes dream about it. At the moment only two things sustain me. One was that I really wanted the identify of "non smoker", I would feel proud to be that.
The other is that I'd started smoking more early in lockdown and my throat started hurting - that stopped me in my tracks. It's been 6 months. I don't know any smokers and I'm grateful, I'd be vulnerable around them. I'm still learning to trust in myself to make good decisions for my own true happiness.

Not heavily, but I used to regularly do drugs and drink at least 3 nights a week.

I haven't touched either in around 3 years now and my word I FEEL SO GOOD

I honestly don't know how I used to do it. I just feel so much better now and more in control

I used to easily drink a bottle of wine a night, easily. Then I would be chain smoking like a trooper and talking shit or texting people, thank god it was the days before Facebook.
Any excuse to drink, little drink after work would turn into sessions and a night out wasn't a night out without being completely wrecked.
One night after a very heavy session I kind of saw myself as I was, this crying mess and a complete wreck. I found I was bored and lonely and had a real lack of self esteem and not feeling good enough. Booze for me was a good mask and a crutch as well as a way of escaping everything.
Now I can't stand the smell of smoke and really can only drink one glass of wine, maybe 2 max but would much prefer a cuppa.
Think you are doing the first step by recognition but now you need to understand why you are self medicating which a good therapist will be able to help you unpick.
Good luck

Everyone who is replying i am so thankful to you for sharing your stories with me.
They really help, I want to be able to reply to each and every poster but for now I think I'm going to sit back, make a cup of tea and read the replies as they come in, I shall use this as motivation to continue the changes I want, when I have a wobble.

Please, keep them coming... you might just be saving my (and others, who knows) life...

And im so sorry to the posters who loved ones have suffered, I dont want that to be my future, your stories of suffering may not be in vain.

My father was an alcoholic. During his working life he drank moderately during the week, then drank solidly all over the weekend. Once retired he gradually increased his drinking to the point where he drank 1 bottle of whisky or more, every day. Drink poisoned his marriage with my mother, ruined her last years, caused upset to his friends and family and got him banned from his favourite drinking place. He sometimes messed himself and my mother ended up despising him. He ended up with dementia, which my mother was convinced was caused by his drinking (chances are it was, in part).

You're brave to post on here. It must be really hard to cope with several addictions at once, but if you can cut down your drinking and smoking to moderate levels, that would be a massive step forward. Good luck OP.

I am again trying to quit smoking. It's so hard! I gave up the beginning of last year for 7 months but I had some stuff going on and started again, I told myself it would only be the odd one but before I knew it I was back smoking 10-15 a day. I am fairly fit and walk or run most days but it's becoming a struggle. My teenage dd's keep asking me to stop which to be honest is the main reason I am. I just enjoy it so much. I tried vaping but didn't get on with that either. I wish you all the luck in the world x

@Marie84 I totally get where you're coming from, I actively enjoy my ciggies when I have them. I was dealing with some very stressful stuff earlier and all I wanted to do was to go shop, get ciggies and sit on my front step in the autumn sunshine and have a ciggy, whilst watching the world go by for 5 minutes.
To fight against it, is an absolute nightmare.

My grandad died in his very early 60s after smoking since he was a teenager. My mother in law died of smoking-related lung cancer in her late 40s. My brother had a lymphoma and his prior smoking history couldn't be ruled out. He's healthy now but it was a long, difficult road.

You want people to share their trauma as a motivational tool for you?

Wow.

Ex smoker here i know what you mean about enjoying a cig. Its hell initially especially when I was out but recently something snapped and i was out socially and didnt want one.

Now the sad story

I lost a dear friend and colleague 18months ago. She was a heavy smoker drinker and recreational drug user.

She lost weight intentionally then it kept falling off. Went to drs with back ache (pulled in gym she thought...) scan showed a mass on her spine. Turned put to be secondary cancer and she had developed lung cancer. It had also spread into her head.

Less than 6 month later she was gone leaving 4 kids and a loving devoted husband.

This- along with another bereavement I experienced last year- show me life is precious and I want to do all I can to enjoy as much as I can for as long as I can

The colleague who died of cancer...the devastation thats been left in her wake...family are crushed and one child attempted suicide. Its tragic

@user128472578267 people dont need to share!!! But this can be helpful...in terms of a wake up call!!! Thats what it was for me when I lost my friend... a wake up call to cherish life

@user128472578267

You want people to share their trauma as a motivational tool for you?

Wow.

I knew there would be somebody along with the negative comment, such is MN.

Absolutely people should share thier experiences, if they choose to do so, and stories of how certain lifestyle choices can have negative impacts, no matter what they are -

How do you think it come through the generations that smoking is bad for you?
Remember there was a time where smoking was sold as a cure for stress etc.

Of course stories should be shared and of course they should be motivational to people who are trying to make changes.

I have am so thankful to those who are being open enough to share experiences and thier journey of making lifestyle changes.

I am not forcing anyone to share, who doesn't want to.

And to add, am I finding this easy reading, in fact I have been close to tears a few times, reading this thread, and I am reading over and over the words of the people brave enough to share, and letting it sink in how im not alone with others who are trying, the stark reality of what can happen if I continue down this path... it really is very difficult reading, so please don't assume for a second im not treating every response and story shared with respect.

*NOT finding it easy reading.

@BonnieTellyLass

Ex smoker here i know what you mean about enjoying a cig. Its hell initially especially when I was out but recently something snapped and i was out socially and didnt want one.

Now the sad story

I lost a dear friend and colleague 18months ago. She was a heavy smoker drinker and recreational drug user.

She lost weight intentionally then it kept falling off. Went to drs with back ache (pulled in gym she thought...) scan showed a mass on her spine. Turned put to be secondary cancer and she had developed lung cancer. It had also spread into her head.

Less than 6 month later she was gone leaving 4 kids and a loving devoted husband.

This- along with another bereavement I experienced last year- show me life is precious and I want to do all I can to enjoy as much as I can for as long as I can

The colleague who died of cancer...the devastation thats been left in her wake...family are crushed and one child attempted suicide. Its tragic

I am so so so sorry for your loss. This was really difficult to read. Thank you for sharing... this story will really stay with me, im so incredibly sorry.