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Original poster

Need to ace this final interview - I'm up against a man

53 replies

80sShoulderPads · 14/10/2020 14:22

I've made the title a bit baity, but I have made it to the final stage of interviews for quite a significant "Head of" role, in a smallish but ambitious company which is already making headlines in the industry press.

This is the third round, and me and another candidate are the final two. The board is all male, with the exception of one female non-exec. The other candidate is male.

I'm perfectly competent, capable and able to do the job - but based on the routine misogyny in my industry, I am anxious that I will have difficulty "winning over" the panel, no matter how good I am. I'm already worrying that the job will go to the man, because I wasn't hard enough, assertive enough or forceful enough.

This is new for me - I didn't notice sexism happening right under my nose at work until sometime else pointed it out. Now I see it everywhere and it's creeping into everything.

I am naturally quite a smiley, cheerful, warm person, maybe a bit of a soft touch. I want to be myself, but should I harden the edges a bit? Does anyone have any tips to help me demonstrate that I am savvy and can assert myself in a senior role, just as much as I can use my influence and charm? I need to, erm, kick arse.

I am obviously quite aware that I might not get the job because the other candidate is genuinely better for whatever reason - I'm not saying that if I don't get it it will be due to the patriarchy! I'd just like to really maximise my chances, so any tips would be welcome.

OP posts:

maddy68 · 19/10/2020 20:24

I have been for a number of years the head of an organisation and on the greasy pole way up, generally (but not always) up against men. I have never not been myself. , Definitely not tried to "out power". But I have shown my strengths. If I couldn't be myself it definitely wouldn't be the role for me

Chewbecca · 19/10/2020 20:30

Good luck!

I would prepare for being asked about your thoughts on strategic direction, what would you do in your first 50 days, where you see the market evolving/ heading, that sort of thing (if you’ve already proved ability to do the job).

Kaiserin · 19/10/2020 21:28

Good luck OP!
Practice that super hero pose, and say goodbye to impostor syndrome!

By the way, with any luck, the panel may actually be aiming to "diversify" their recruitment, so... Don't assume being female will necessarily be held against you!

But no point trying to double guess the panel's intentions, it's all outside of your control. You can only do your best... And I'm sure that's a lot! You wouldn't have been shortlisted for the last round if you were not generally fit for the job

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs

Original poster

80sShoulderPads · 20/10/2020 06:18

I'm going to try not to over-prepare, as that will make me jittery wondering how much info I might need to recall.

You're all right, I just need to be myself, have a response ready for the searching questions, know the firm (and it's direction) and be confident that I can do the job. If they don't choose me, then it wasn't for me!

It's not tech, it's financial services. I will come back and update.

OP posts:

DateLoaf · 20/10/2020 06:45

I totally get where you’re coming from with this and wish you luck OP. Stranger on the internet good luck is the best kind there is!
Now, with luck on your side, here’s my tip. Try to relax, they are just people. They are anxious to find the best person to fill a key role from a choice of two and don’t want to appoint a bad call.
Your task therefore is to reassure them about you. Plus show you’ve got a few exciting ideas that you can bring in from elsewhere which have shown results. So you need to be able to give loads of granular examples up your sleeve of things that went well, that you contributed to, and things that were going wrong and you turned around. Things you’ve noticed about them that show you’ve followed their work.
So the best prep for me is always to mentally note financial, strategic, management etc examples of things I can drop in. They want you to be good, or they wouldn’t have asked you in again, but just they need you to give them bits of evidence to build up a picture. You’re already personable, you can tell that already. Just build up the picture of you with examples.

FakeFlamingo · 20/10/2020 09:14

I've recently interviewed a dozen candidates & made 1 offer (I had more positions but didn't offer any more). It was to the junior most candidate. Key things that work for me:

Concise answers yet with enough info (no waffling)
Being honest about past experiences & capability, strengths
Good language/ no grammatical mistakes
No apologies (sorry, maybe, just etc)
Not short selling themselves

The best interviews (I found) are finished before time as there is less need for probing questions, the answers are convincing enough.

Savoretti · 20/10/2020 09:19

Good Luck 😊 🍀

Original poster

80sShoulderPads · 20/10/2020 18:03

Well, I think it went OK! The connection was poor so I only saw the first guy for a few minutes before he had to turn his camera off, and the second guy never put his camera on at all so I assume he was in his pants.

But the questions were straightforward with the exception of two, which I neatly deflected (I think), and one where I admitted to having very little experience but it was something quite niche so I doubt it would be a deal breaker. I tried really hard not to waffle, and I think I came across as confident, fair but firm, and positive. I didn't flounder or say I didn't have any answers.

I'd sort of pinned my hair up to look neat and DH said I looked just like my mother - I said that's okay, mumsy-geek probably isn't the worst look I could've gone for in this job!

Won't know anything until the end of next week...will forget about it until then.

OP posts:

ForthPlace · 20/10/2020 18:54

Well done, you've done all you can and can rest tonight.

Let us all know of your success!

DateLoaf · 20/10/2020 19:01

Well done! Bet you did great.
Etiquette for interviewing is always camera on, but we’ll let that pass if you get the job!

Original poster

80sShoulderPads · 20/10/2020 19:18

Thanks both! Yeah I was surprised at camera-off guy, and also that the first chap who was on camera for a few minutes was wearing a plain black t-shirt, not even a shirt. I'd picked a smart blue blouse with some orange print in it, pinned my hair behind my ears grandma-style, had nice earrings in, put primer on to de-shine my nose and even added a dash of lipstick! I haven't put a jot of makeup on since March, let alone jewellery.

I didn't get a role recently but had a funny feeling I'd ballsed part of the 2nd/3rd stage up, even though I blithely thought it wouldn't matter much as I'm so fabulous. Turned out from the feedback that I HAD messed that bit up after all, although they softened the blow by saying I was too technically advanced for the role anyway. Hmm, OK.

But whilst there are always bits you think you could have done better or where you could have waffled less, there is nothing here that has me thinking "disaster". So fingers crossed.

OP posts:

ScrapThatThen · 20/10/2020 19:23

Think about his weaknesses if you know them. Make a big deal of your strengths in those areas. That's what I did.

Original poster

80sShoulderPads · 21/10/2020 06:37

@ScrapThatThen we're all external candidates and its a brand new role, none of us know one another - and it turns out there are two others I'm up against, not just one.

I'd heard that one hadn't covered himself in glory, and secretly cheered that he might not have survived stage 2 (I know, I'm horrible ), but he has apparently. I don't know anything about the 3rd candidate.

I found myself doing a mental post mortem at 4am and kicking myself, suddenly I can think of better ways I could've answered some things. Now I'm all sad that yet again I'll have been down to the last few but not got it.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, aarrrgh.

OP posts:

Gastropod · 21/10/2020 07:49

Glad it went OK, have been meaning to check back and see how it all went! Fingers crossed for you.

I've found the power posing stuff really helpful - consciously changing my body language and 'taking up space' to look confident has definitely helped me feel more so. I'm a big believer in "fake it till you make it" and I guess this is a part of that.

I've just been offered a new role at work too, which will involve a lot of banging heads and convincing people (mostly men) to do things differently. So I'll be power posing in the bathroom (or off camera) a lot in the coming weeks .

ScrapThatThen · 21/10/2020 12:16

Fingers crossed for you. Lose that 'I'm horrible mindset' you owe them nothing but you owe yourself the best shot! I got a job above two excellent internal candidates who were well liked and had been there longer than me - by reminding myself I actually was the most well qualified and selling myself.

ScrapThatThen · 21/10/2020 12:16

Don't look back, there's always better ways to answer things

HappyStep1 · 21/10/2020 12:24

Well done and good luck @80sShoulderPads!
I have a 2nd today online and have been following the thread with interest, I was planning on going a bit "smart" too first impressions and all that

Original poster

80sShoulderPads · 21/10/2020 14:02

Oh good luck HappyStep1, hope it goes/went well! I found looking a bit smart/coiffed with earrings and a dash of makeup made me feel more polished.

Except you can't polish a turd, and with every hour that passes I'm more convinced that everything I said took me further and further away from being the right person for the job. Dammit, it all felt fine at the time, curse my over-analysis.

OP posts:

HappyStep1 · 21/10/2020 16:58

Watched the Amy Cuddy TED talk, did my best Wonder Woman pose and had a really nice chat with the Department Head who is putting me forward for the third and final!!!!!
Fingers crossed for you 80s x

HappyStep1 · 21/10/2020 17:00

I get the whole over analysing, can't change anything now!
Do you know when you'll hear?

Original poster

80sShoulderPads · 21/10/2020 18:47

Well done Happy, great news! I won't hear until the end of next week, but I'm 95% convinced they won't choose me.

OP posts:

HappyStep1 · 21/10/2020 19:13

Thanks 80s.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, it ain't over till I start singing.......

HappyStep1 · 30/10/2020 09:23

Hi @80sShoulderPads, been thinking of you, you heard about the job yet?
Had my 3rd and final yesterday, think it went OK, I'll find out next week.

Original poster

80sShoulderPads · 30/10/2020 19:23

No, nothing yet...I had hoped it would be today, but maybe it'll be next week now. I know the 3rd person had their final interview on Weds (2 days ago).

I'm not holding my breath, however - I do have another option on the table. A colleague has gone off to work for one of our biggest clients - a client we regularly moan about (pretty much every representative of every dept has a comment about them) and rolled our eyes at because they were so awkward and clueless and are such hard work. They made her an amazing offer to go in there and turn them around.

And, you guessed it...they would like me to join them too. I haven't discussed it properly yet, but I know it would be a good offer. Not sure how I feel about it really.

Well done on your 3rd, fingers crossed!

OP posts:

Dartsplayer · 05/11/2020 19:58

Any news OP?

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