How do you know when to stop having children

[Motherofmonsters]

We always wanted 3 children close together but now we've got a 3year old and a 1 year old and were not so sure.

We do want another one but they are really hard work. The 3 year old is very 'spirited' despite our best efforts.

We currently have a 3 bed house so they would have to share a room, more money etc.

How do you know whether to have another one or not? This is the hardest decision weve ever had to make

After dc2 the thought of adding more workload to the mix did not feel me with cheer. I was happy that the level of work I had was just about balanced by the joy and fun bits but another would have tipped it, for me. I know my limits and there were times when my patience was at a low enough ebb but I was still able to be a caring parent. So for me the stop at 2 was a fairly cut and dried decision. I want to be able to give really good quality attention to my kids and I know some super parents can do this even with more, but I'm not cut it for that, I am a pretty good mum for 2 I think, I'd be a dreadful mum for 3.

I knew I was done when I was 28 weeks pregnant with my youngest, having a GTT and a growth scan. Still remember sitting there in the hospital saying to myself I was never, ever doing it again.

I do sometimes wistfully think another would be nice. But we'd need a bigger house, a bigger car and to buy all the baby stuff again. Twins also run in my family and it would be my luck I ended up with four!

I was broody for 3. But I had draining SPD pregnancies and two tough births. I managed a 2y age gap, but my body couldn't pull it off again that quickly. I got as far as having my implant out when DS2 was 3, but a week later got wind of a good temporary job opportunity so held fire. In that year, we began to live without nappies and buggies and I felt like I'd moved on and didn't want to go back again.

Probably a good call. It emerged that DS1 has some SNs and it wasn't just that he was getting good value out of prolonged toddler years, it was ASD. He's a great kid, but does come with a bit more mental load than standard. DS2 is pretty ditzy and herding 2 is plenty.

When I realised parental time shared between just two children far outweighs the benefit of an additional sibling when they already have one. It was very difficult to ever justify it as being beneficial for the family when I realised that. Plus I agree with all the environmental concerns, although that only cements my already made up mind.