Talk to me about relationship counselling

[EeenyWeeeeeny]

Just that really. I think it would be useful for DH and I but I think I might struggle to get him on board with it. In my family we were big talkers and always discussed things but he comes from a very buttoned up, stiff upper lip type of family and for that reason I find it hard to talk intimately with him.

We also have a major problem in that unfortunately both of us hate conflict and would rather avoid it. He's worse than I am for this but I'm still pretty bad.

At the moment we have some financial situations we need to discuss but he has a serious block when it comes to discussing money and I find it really hard to talk about with him because he just gets stressed and doesn't want to deal with it. I think it would really help having someone impartial there to faciliate discussion.

Has your experience of relationship counselling been helpful? I don't even know where to start looking really. Any recommendations of anyone good who also does online counselling would be helpful...

I just feel that if I suggest relationship counselling to him he'll think I'm suggesting we should split up.

It doesn't work that way but they see you both independently and as a unit. They don't take sides and eventually might suggest that the best thing to do is to part ways.

They don't take sides and eventually might suggest that the best thing to do is to part ways.

I don't think we're anywhere near that tbh. We're generally really happy together, we just need to communicate better.

They also work that way. Most people go to them because communication isn't flowing. I'd say give it a go. However, I've been told that most men reject the idea of it.

I had a varied experience. I asked DH to go to couples counselling after he acted appallingly during my birth trauma, seemed to that despite us agreeing on parenting he could just say was tired and leave me to our newborn, that he could control the house with passive aggression and the emeshment with his parents. The situation with PIL improved a lot as we were able to talk through and seek advice on things we thought would be difficult like DDs 1st birthday party. It certainly also gave me the space to talk about my experiences with him on his best behaviour and not storming off but I don't think the therapist was challenging enough and he didn't see us separately at all. Long term, some things have improved with PIL as a result of our therapy, the aggression has improved but DH is still fairly selfish, entitled and avoidant. I guess my advice would be to pick your therapist wisely and have a trial session but remember that it can't change your DH. You may benefit from that space to talk though.