10 week old bedtime

[Feebelle]

hi all. Looking for advice. My 10 week old baby girl just won't settle for bedtime. She is bottlefed, feeding every 4 hours during the day and taking approx 5 oz every bottle.( she was only 6pounds when born but is almost 10pounds now).
Sleeps good during the day, naps can be a bit all over the place but as long as I put her down for sleep after she awake for 1 and half hrs then she is happy. Problem is in the evening, we give her 5 oz bottle at 7pm, sometimes after bath (don't bath every night as think its bad for babybskin, she also hates baths), cuddle her, gentle rocks until sleepy and put her down in her cot however she will cry for about 3 hours we myself and hubby in and out to her- trying to get her to self soothe- dummy, shhing her and leaving her cry a few mins before going in etc. We lift her and cuddle her, walk around room with her but as soon as we put her down she wakes, arms flying around the place and cries. I know she is tired but think she is fighting the sleep . By about 10pm she just goes off herself to sleep. At this stage we don't do a dreamfeed cause we don't want to risk having to repeat the 3 hour stint again. So she usually sleeps till about 2 or 3 am when I feed her and she goes back down again ( much more easily). Can't remember my other two children being like this.
Also, should I reintroduce the dream feed seeming as she is doing about 7 hour stints ( 7pm till 2am) feel like I might have to feed her in the night till about 6 months or so this way. Of course i don't mind but would be great if got full nights sleep especially with having other kids. Appreciate your thoughts thanks

What time is her latest nap? And what time does she wake in the morning? I would try and keep her awake after 3pm.

Example day -
6-7am wake up feed
10am feed and nap
12 feed
1pm nap no later than 3pm feed on wake up
5pm feed
8pm feed and bedtime

Do you think that could work? It’s so hard when you have bigger kids to sort as well

I would definitely stick to your 1.5 hour time period for being awake, an overtired baby is even less likely to sleep IME. Could you maybe try a swaddle to stop arms going everywhere? You said you have two other children, but would it be an option to let the baby sleep on your for a few hours in the evening? They're still in the fourth trimester so might want to feel close. I would still put the baby down as normal for other naps and not worry about settling into night time sleep a bit differently. They're very adaptable and you could always try putting her down again at night in a few weeks.
With the feeding, I would leave her until she woke and get an earlier bed time for a few hours sleep either side of the feed. Otherwise, you did say she goes down easier further into the night so if she slept on you for a few hours in the evening you could try the dream feed before putting her down in the cot and see if that works. Trial and error really.

I know I’m a big softie with mine so probably too far the other way but I personally think this is too early to expect baby to self settle. I would let baby fall asleep on you or feeding then put them down asleep. At least til they’ve caught up and they’ve had a few days of decent sleep

Thanks all for the advice I will try few things. Problem with keeping her up in the evening is she just wants us to walk around with her in our arms- cries when we sit down at all. Difficult when you have to put the other kids to bed.
At the moment she usually has last nap at around 4.30/5pm.

I feel for you, I had one like that. From about 6pm-8pm was clingy grizzly time and I never worked out why.

10 weeks is still very tiny though, it might not last long

10 weeks she should be sleeping in whatever room you are. If that means in a bouncer or wrap whilst you do beds, or one of you do beds and one has the baby then that's it
It isn't forever.

Tbh at that age ours were feeding every 4 hours, sleeping on is or in their basket, into cot when we went up which we'd vaguely tie to a feed time.

I think you have massive unfair expectations on yourself as well as your baby

And honestly if you're going and out for 3 hours you can't see to your other kids properly anyway unless you're leaving her to cry
Do yourself a favour and just pick her up and cuddle her for those 3 hours

Honestly, we had no routine at that age, baby when to sleep when we went to bed, maybe around 10/11 a night.

IMO that's far too young to self settle, they simply don't understand