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If you had a (or been to a) wedding with fewer than 15 people...

18 replies

Siw2020 · 12/10/2020 22:08

What was it like? Things that worked / things that you would do differently?

We are planning a small covid friendly wedding weekend for just parents/siblings, ideas would be much appreciated! :)

OP posts:
Dazedandconfused10 · 12/10/2020 22:09

It was just me and my ex. Good job really seeing as it was a total waste of time and money.

Nowifi · 12/10/2020 22:10

I have been to one, about 20 people so a few more but it was really lovely. No dancing or anything like that just amazing food (indian wedding) and was over by 6pm, was so lovely and chilled though.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 12/10/2020 22:12

With my ex

Our mums, his sister and bil and uncle as witness

We didn’t care we were so blindly in love 🥰

And then we grew up and grew apart (I don’t regret it)

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Swallowzandamazons · 12/10/2020 22:13

My own wedding, twelve adults and one baby. Exactly what we wanted, intimate, relaxed and peaceful. And 25 years ago, so stuff all to do with covid.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/10/2020 22:13

Ours was a few years ago. Us, my DSC, siblings and partners, parents. It was perfect. Ceremony at 2 I think, photos, wander along the beach, dinner at a lovely hotel where most of us stayed, big breakfast there the next morning and home. Easy, cosy, really special.

We got hot button holes for all the men and corsages for all the women so everyone was included and we were one big wedding party. DSC were best man and bridesmaid and parents did readings.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/10/2020 22:14

Not hot button holes, just regular ones Grin

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/10/2020 22:15

What sort of thing are you thinking OP? Do you know where you want to do it? Have you picked a dress?

Canyousewcushions · 12/10/2020 22:19

It was amazing, close knit family affair, registery office and a walk through a local park to an amazing tiny informal, delicious food place which was booked out for just us. It was an absolutely perfect day, and so much more fun than any of the bigger do's I've been to.

FutureDays · 12/10/2020 22:19

Went to one at the weekend, they were only allowed 15 people but worked out quite nice, they were able to set up zoom for other people to watch it, they had planned where everyone had to sit to be in keeping with the covid rules.

starfishmummy · 12/10/2020 22:21

I wentnto one with fewer than 15 and that was before covid. It was lovely - civil ceremony followed by a meal. The bride had a wedding dress, there were buttonholes and cake and a good time had by all.

Siw2020 · 12/10/2020 22:22

@AnneLovesGilbert

What sort of thing are you thinking OP? Do you know where you want to do it? Have you picked a dress?
We haven't picked a "venue" yet. Planning on staying in luxury accommodation with just immediate family and having a few days away somewhere remote, tranquil and pretty. The marriage itself will likely be a no fuss affair in a registry office - but either side of it will have family time, meals / bbq etc. No dress picked yet - planning on fixing a date first. Not going for a white dress (neither of us are religious) so probably just a nice floaty knee length dress. Will likely pick a few outfits for the weekend. Probably one meal at a nice restaurant to finish the weekend away.

Happy to hear ideas/suggestions etc.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 12/10/2020 22:26

My brother's wedding was 14 people, back in 2011. It was lovely. They had a beautiful setting, which helped, but my brother and his wife aren't at all wedding focussed so they left it to my brother's MIL to organise. She made everything very formal and elegant, so we were all dressed up, there were lovely flowers, the wedding breakfast was in a gorgeous room with open fires and candles (it was January in a medieval German village; there was snow on the ground). There were lots of speeches - nearly all the adults present stood up to speak! - and she'd collected messages from the people who couldn't be there. There were also some lovely traditional gifts sent in from people who weren't there. We all had to get involved - making a speech, or opening a message to read it, or whatever, and that worked really well.

What didn't work? Dancing! They wanted to do a formal bride/groom dance and it was just awkward, and then they tried to have more dancing. It's just too few people!

I also think piped music for the ceremony doesn't work. It sounds silly to say that, but when there's only a handful of you in the room, you hear every click and tap of getting the CD ready (or these days, hitting play on an ipod or whatever), and it feels very strange. No music at all would have been better!

But I think having everything done absolutely beautifully, with thoughtful detail, made it special. It felt really intimate and lovely. I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful too - good luck! And congratulations.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/10/2020 22:43

I didn’t wear white either. Got a beautiful dress from the bridesmaid/occasion range at Debos in the sale and wouldn’t have changed it if I’d had millions in the bank. I never understand people spending more on a dress than a ring, one you wear for hours and the other hopefully for many years.

I made my veil - they’re not for everyone but I love them - and our cake.

You might find the ceremony means more to you than you expect. Ours was pretty simple and we chose each bit from a range of options the registrar gave us when we booked it. I cry easily but I properly bawled. No matter how short or simple the wording, it’s those words that mean you’re married and it can be really significant and special.

We were so lucky with the hotel too, we’d just booked a meal and not asked for or discussed any frills but as we arrived back after the ceremony and photos I found them laying the table beautifully, they played the cake up really nicely and put those swanky covers on the chairs, so sweet.

Don’t feel having a smaller party size means you need to have less weddingy stuff if you want it. If you’d budgeted for a bigger do you can afford to spend a bit more on really good food and any frills you’ll enjoy.

Our budget was always small and we liked not having to do official invitations etc and making things like the cake. We got everyone a little personal gift to thank them for coming related to where we had the wedding.

ShopTattsyrup · 12/10/2020 22:49

I've been to one with 6 guests, about 5 years ago, just a really lovely chilled afternoon. Registry office followed by a really nice posh pub lunch in a country hotel, we spent the evening in a little sofa filled snug with plenty of wine and cake and just chatted and had a nice little chilled party vibe.

Went to another 2 years ago with about 20 people. It was a lovely day but the couple made the mistake of basically trying to do a big wedding on a small scale. Dancing etc. Can be a bit awkward when you're few in number. Also the guests were mixture of people, most of us didn't know any of the others so it ended up feeling a bit like a work conference with lots of polite hand shaking and "and what do you do for a living?" Type chat. Bonus was though - the food and drinks were bloody amazing as they could afford to splash out a bit more per head and we all got to speak properly to the bride and groom which was lovely!

mocktail · 12/10/2020 22:54

The marriage itself will likely be a no fuss affair in a registry office - but either side of it will have family time, meals / bbq etc.

Bear in mind the fact that although you can have 15 for the ceremony, any meals/bbq will be subject to the rule of 6, which makes things tricky. I'm sure guests will be understanding though given the circumstances! Smile

Horsemad · 13/10/2020 00:20

We had 9 guests, it was perfect. 🙂

Siw2020 · 13/10/2020 10:22

@Horsemad

We had 9 guests, it was perfect. 🙂
What did you do for it? :) Looking to hear of people having small weddings that they were really pleased with.

We are getting mixed opinions from friends/family etc with some suggesting it would be best to wait for covid to blow over... but actually we've always wanted to have a very small do regardless, covid is a convenient excuse for people not to be offended they havent made the

OP posts:
Horsemad · 13/10/2020 10:33

Ceremony at a local country hotel with a lovely relaxed meal afterwards, then drinks/further refreshments late afternoon. It was just very relaxing, sat back in plush sofas and chatting.
We got married in December, it was a beautiful crisp winter day and the light was fab late afternoon, candles, Xmas trees, all very pretty! 🙂

In the evening we had a gathering at our house; we invited an additional half a dozen neighbours who hadn't been able to make the day (we got married on a Friday, so some were working) and had a nice buffet supper then we went back to spend the night at the hotel.

Went on honeymoon the day after, was great!

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