What do your DC do after school?

[confusedofengland]

My DSes are 6, 9 & 11. DS2 has autism & is a lot like DS3 in terms of interests & behaviour. The little ones finish school at 2.45 & 3pm respectively. They then usually come straight home while either DH or I pick up DS1. He finishes school at 3.15 & is home by 3.45pm.

The trouble I am finding is that they want to spend the whole evening (until 8pm for little ones, 9pm for DS1) on tablet/Wii for little ones phone/Xbox for DS1. We do limit the time they are on their, but it seems to be their first thought when they come out of school They do have Beavers/Cubs/Scouts once a week, but even then the others want screens whilst the one involved is there. DS1 has football training each Monday, too & the little ones will start swimming lessons after half term. It is more the obssession around it all (which DS2 is particularly prone to, due to his autism) that I find troubling than anything. I also fear it will get worse in the winter as park trips will no longer be possible. I take them to the park when it is nice after school, maybe once a week or so.

I do try to do things with them but I don't always have so much time once I have done dinner etc, but I definitely could do more, maybe play a game with them each night or similar.

Thank you if you've read this far. Any insights into what others do would be great!

Hi, I have a 10 and 11 year old. They attend a couple of after school clubs but on the evenings they don't have anything, their consoles/tablets are earned by them helping out around the house/helping with dinner to earn pocket money. We choose together to watch a programme or go for a short walk or play board games. Hope that helps

There are some good ideas, thanks Hampshiresun. I seem to know all the theory of it, but find it trickier to put into practice. Like I say, they don't actually have that much time on screens, but they think/ask about them constantly

We are also missing after-school clubs hugely, as ours haven't started up again (at school). Each DS used to do 2 per week, which meant they got home at 4.30pm then we had dinner, so there was a lot less of the evening to fill!

Maybe you could try letting them know how long they can have and a choice about when they have screen time but when times up that's it and if they talk incessantly at other times they will miss out on the next slot. It's really difficult at the moment with limited club options. My teens were old enough for me to just be able to leave them to it - at some point they have to learn to self regulate and they've generally had lots of other stuff going on so i've just let it go but appreciate that's much harder when they are younger.

Maybe sit them down and just say the more you hear about screens the less time they will get on them.

Also mine were always in bed by 7.30pm at primary age. When you work backwards with reading to and with each of them, bath, dinner etc there is a lot less time to fill than you think.

Why can't you take them to the park in winter? I have a 2 and 3yo and we still go to the park in the dark/snow/cold etc

Clothing needs to be appropriate and beware of frosty slides

My children's school doesn't get out until 4.30. When they were that age one night would be rugby practise for one, another piano or netball. I let them chill otherwise until dinner (so for an hour and a half) or they do homework. After dinner it's homework or a bit of tv if they did it before, then bath and bed. Not really that much time for much else.

Mine aren't allowed games consoles/tablets/YouTube during the week.

Dd (10) will do homework, piano practice, read or watch tv.

Ds (7) often plays out for an hour or so then watches tv if he doesn't have football (twice a week).

They go to bed and 8&7. I don't mind them watching tv really. Tonight they played together with walkie talkies which doesn't happen often! Oh they both had a bath too. They get home at 3:20.

DS has to have any reading, homework and spellings out of the way before his xbox gets fired up.

Bathtime before dinner is a good way to kill some time, it's also practical as he has to compete with 2 teenage girls for bathroom use.

I wfh during the day, so if I need to grab anything from shops, haircuts, library other quick boring jobs are done straight from the school pick up rather than the weekend.

I could still take them to the park, but if the equipment is wet they won't want to play anyway.

We have tried saying that the more they think/talk about screens, the less they will have them, but this doesn't work, particularly for DS2 whose autism makes him obsessive once he gets an idea in his head.

I could & should make sure they read every night and/or perhaps do some Mathletics. It is certainly easier when I am doing things with them & harder when they are left to themselves. They seem to find it difficult to just play without wanting to be on a screen.

I feel your pain. Mine get home about 3.30 and bed is at 8.30. Five hours to fill every day without resorting to screens is difficult, especially in winter.

Play, tv, dinner, bath, more tv, read, homework...sometimes a quick game of uno

Quick trip to the park when it’s not miserable, it’s very near school and lots of his friends also go so it’s sometimes a brilliant way to spend an hour (for him, not me!).
Other than that, Lego, switch, games, bath/shower, football in the garden, friend round for dinner, all sorts.
After school today he came home, we played Harry Potter dobble, he had a snack, then he sorted his uniform and school bag for tomorrow. Then he had some switch time, dinner and a shower. Now he’s playing a game upstairs with his big sister.

I feel your pain too!

Mine used to have clubs until 4.30/4.45 which filled time & tired them out. Only one club a week now & they finish at 3pm & school is around the corner. I've bought some workbooks so they can do 30 mins or so of extra work but they are still watching more TV then I would like. I used to take them to the park but I've shifted my working pattern to accommodate for the shorter school day & I can only do this once a week now.

Earlier beds as suggested by PP, 9pm for a year 5 kid (so presume not asleep until 9.30) is late, likewise a 6 year old not asleep til 8.30ish?

Less evening to fill and kids easier to get up in the morning!

My DS is 8 and a bIt immature and has ADHD. He's allowed an hour on his tablet if he's done his learning apps and any jobs. If he has it when he gets in from school, then he plays with Lego etc afterwards. Or we go to the shops/park/bike ride first when it's light (though this rule has firmed up this year so it's not been that way while it's been dark straight after school - last winter they were mainly in clubs).
DD is 6 and usually does crafts etc before screen time (or after).
We use a timer on the iPad so no use running off with it or claiming you have had less time.
At the weekend tablet time is afternoons (they can watch TV in the mornings but we decide when it goes off)

Fight and watch YouTube mostly at the minute as their usual activities are off.

'beware of frosty slides' really made me laugh 😂😂😂

I may not have been clear on bedtimes. DS1 goes to bed at 9pm, he is 11 (nearly 12) & in Year 7, senior school. DS2 & DS3 go to bed at the same time & are usually settled by 8pm or thereabouts. On Cubs evening DS2 (9) is there until 8.15pm so couldn't go to bed earlier. They have had these bedtimes since before lockdown & do well on them, they don't tend to get overtired or have trouble getting up or doing schoolwork.

My DS is 13 Year 9.
we get home at 6.30pm each night.
we walk the dogs (short walk) while supper is usually cooking.
He does his homework after supper
sometimes watches tv but i discourage it
It might watch something on you tube.
gets ready for the next day.
has a shower and bed at 9pm.
up at 6am ready to start again.

monday he does cycling club at school
Every other monday and every a friday he does CCF at school
Every Thursday at school he does DofE

so to be honest it really helps having these clubs at school. he also have PE all afternoon twice a week.

for me it's one of the benefits of private schools.

Mine are smaller at 3 and 5. If they don't have any clubs we get home about 4 and they relax doing what they like for an hour or so. Play, telly or tablet. Then dinner which often takes forever! We then do 'special time' where each parent does 10/15 mins playing with each kid doing what the kid wants. Then bath and/or a bit more telly depending on the time, read the little one stories and read together with the older one.

Mine are a bit younger. Often garden for an hour after school while I get dinner on, eat, play inside, bath at 5:30. Once in pyjamas tv or iPads until bed, half six, 7 and then reading with the eldest and bed by 8 - it’s the hardest stretch of the day if you ask me!

In summer we are out at the park after school. In winter all 3 kids are permenantly wired up to their screens. They are exhausted after school and once I've worked all day im shattered too.