DS1 (year 3) is not happy nor thriving in various aspects, but DS2 (year 1) is doing well (for now) at the local state primary. There are no other state options where we live. There is also no viable state secondaries, the local secondary is truly dire (i know teachers there who told me they wouldn't send their own kids in)
We originally planned to move when DS1 was in year 6 to a comp area.
Now we're thinking of either moving now (but I don't know where to because i don't want to move again) or go private. We're now also thinking, DS1, while bright, is turning out soooo sensitive and fragile, he should go private (small classes, more attention) all through, maybe preferably a junior school with an attached senior rather than a prep. DS2 is way more robust - he can take competition, pressure, sports etc, and has made close friends but he is close to his brother and i don't want to separate them.
DH and I are going around in circles about whether to downsize (and how much to downsize) to have a good buffer before going down the private route (which is no guarantee DS1 will be happier). We can pay out of income but 2 sets of private fees for a decade plus university costs etc is a huge dent on savings. i have little confidence over our job security and don't see much increase in future earnings... DH is much more optimistic about affordability while I'm pessimistic, as I'm a worrier.
I don't know what my question is but thanks for reading so far!