My feed

to access all these features

Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum.


Why am I feeling like this towards my toddler?

10 replies

ncffm · 11/10/2020 20:15

He's started to become really difficult out of the blue. He's always been a "good" baby, but now it's tantrums everyday and resisting me all the time.

I get angry and generally feel like I just can't be bothered and have no patience. I shouted at him a couple of times and the guilt just makes everything so much worse. I'm wearing so thin.

Bedtime has been an absolute ordeal tonight, lots of tears and crying. I wanted to do CC but husband thinks I'm being cruel and the answer is that we just go in and tend to him each time he cries. He's had milk, nappy change and seems fine so I think it's just attention he wants.

What do I do? How can I stop feeling like this? I feel so guilty for even feeling like this towards him because he's the most gorgeous, loving little boy ever Sad

OP posts:
GemmeFatale · 11/10/2020 20:18

I feel you. It’s fucking tough.

If your husband doesn’t want to do controlled crying let him manage evenings. In my house it’s the other way round and I do the nights because it’s me that won’t let him cry it out.

I have no useful advice. But we’re in the same place. It will get better. Probably.

ncffm · 11/10/2020 20:20

@GemmeFatale I hope so. I'm drained. I just don't have the energy to deal with him when he's like this, I know it sounds totally awful but it's true. CC is a last resort but listening to the crying is enough to drive me mental

OP posts:
ListenLinda · 11/10/2020 20:33

Toddlers are hard work. Mine is a right little pain in the butt last few weeks, no idea why he has always been so smiley and amenable.
It does get better though.
I say as my preschooler has pushed me to the ends of my patience today 😂
Chin up OP, and hugs to you.

AllTheCakes · 11/10/2020 20:35

If he is being difficult then I don’t think it’s the time to start doing controlled crying. I would wait until things are more settled and then start a new routine. I feel for you, my toddler can be a right pain when he wants!

BabyLlamaZen · 11/10/2020 20:42

Burnout. You need some time to yourself!

If you get that space you'll be more "on" and attentive to his needs. Can you get jusr some time and space?

Agreed that dp should be sorting night time.

lambo88 · 11/10/2020 20:43

I think it's just toddlers Hun as we have our good and bad days (I honestly don't no how people cope with wanting more babies) 🤣no more for us until ours is at least 5...with regards to bedtime he may just need some comfort so I would sit in his room by his cot holding his hand for 4 nights...then the next 4 nights move to no hand holding...then the next 4 nights move the chair away from close to the cot...then the next 4 nights move and sit by his bedroom door then the next 4 nights sit outside...then if he's unsettled go in his room and comfort him without picking him up and leave the gaps to going in longer...this will gain trust that u will go into him if he needs u xx

Porridgeoat · 11/10/2020 20:44

Can you go to bed when the toddler goes to bed so you get more sleep

SEE123 · 11/10/2020 21:14

No helpful advice, just some 💐

"This too shall pass"
I say as I want to jam a pen in my own eye for the cliche.

greytminds · 11/10/2020 21:21

Controlled crying isn’t the answer here I’m sure. To clarify I’m definitely not saying that in a judgemental way - it just doesn’t sound like it would help and I think it’s likely to be a pretty awful experience trying it on a toddler!

My toddler is intense and her sleep has often been challenging so I do get it! We’ve had some great advice along the way.

It might be helpful to start looking at his routine in the round. How old is he? What is his routine like? Naps etc. Could he be over/under tired? Do you make time for connection through play in the period before bedtime? How much screen time does he have and is any of it after 4.30? I’d say it would make sense to start thinking about these kind of things to see if you can make bedtime work better before taking more drastic action.

jessstan1 · 11/10/2020 21:29

You don't say how old he is.

Perhaps he isn't ready to go to bed early. You could try getting him ready and then having him downstairs with you and his dad, playing, reading or whatever he likes to do, and cuddling up with you both on the sofa until he dozes off. Then you can carry him up, asleep.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.