Has anyone ever "cured" self esteem issues?

[GinandGobbledegook]

I'm struggling and the waiting list for therapy is huge (I'm 1 year into a 2 year wait)

I seek validation from others (wanting to be found attractive, wanting to be wanted, seeking praise from colleagues)
I feel on top of the world when things are going well. When things aren't going so well (if I recieve criticism or rejection) I'm on my knees.

I hate my body, I hate myself. I crave others telling me I'm not what I feel I am.

It's exhausting and my anxiety is sky high.

Does anyone have tips for increasing self esteem?

Oh OP

You probably know already that the first point of call is to stop relying on others. No one can or should have to validate you in the way you need. Is there anyone in particular whose opinion of you is a driving factor in your low self esteem issues? That's a pretty good start to identifying the problem. For me (I've been where you are) was realising it was my mum dragging my self esteem down. I joined support groups, had therapy (though it didn't work out for me), cut contact and I do "exercise" when I talk to her in which I have a "driving voice" which tells me what she's saying is ridiculous, driven by bitterness and jealousy and her opinion of me is not fact.

I have always had people in my life with those negative voices growing up and now as an adult, I hear negative opinions much louder than the positive.

I have a really unhealthy need for compliments and for validation and not always from the right people.

I've just had too much time on my hands today and it's got me thinking 😔

I was a lot like this. I think over the years I've come to accept myself as who I am. Also I have a small group of people around me who love me unconditionally and I only really care what they think of me. Anyone else I just don't care.

I had to figure out who I am first. Then come to terms with it. Then be open about it. Then be able to laugh about myself a bit.

Be kind to yourself. It's okay to be you.

It sounds like you've come a long way winterisstillcoming

I think that's what's missing, I don't have anyone around me who I feel love me unconditionally and accept who I am. Including my own husband who can be dismissive of my feelings and can make me feel worthless (I don't think he intends to though)

I'm feeling really lonely lately which isn't helping.

I think I became more accepting and forgiving of myself. Acknowledged that I did a good job even if I got it wrong sometimes. Got more into self care and exercise.

Stopped caring what random people thought and cared more about what I thought

That sounds really tough, OP. Hope you'll get better soon. You deserve to be happy, and I hope you'll find a happiness which doesn't depend on the approval of others!

Something that can help is identifying the negative voices still echoing in your head. And telling them calmly but firmly to shut the fuck up.

Another thing that can help is building more (internal) supportive voices. Could be echoes of real supportive people in your life. Remember their words. Repeat them to yourself, till you truly believe it.
Could also be the imagined voices of a powerful role model. Doesn't matter if it's Jesus Christ, Albus Dumbledore, or whoever rocks your boat: what would they say to you? Assuming they're not a twat, I'd imagine they'd talk to you with more compassion than you currently afford yourself. It's OK to borrow their voices, and tell yourself the nice and truthful things you need and deserve to hear.

All this may sound daft, but when you finally get access to therapy, it's likely you'll be offered CBT, and the therapist will help you question false narratives that exist in your head (e.g. "I always fuck up") and replace them with more fair appraisals (e.g. "I couldn't possibly know this would happen when I made this decision. I made the best possible decision with the information I had at the time.")
So in practice, it's not that different: it's really all about replacing hostile "inner voices", with more friendly (and less biased!) ones.

Also take stock of all the good things that have a positive effect on you and make you want to be a better person (chat with a good friend, volunteering, exercise, grooming) and minimise the things that don't. I know it sounds simple but the lore of your time and energy you spend on those people and things that contribute to your self esteem the more you'll resent when you have to deal with the negative stuff (toxic people, annoying work colleagues). You just won't have the time. Be choosy.

Be aware of things that make you feel instantly good but worse afterwards. Things like impulse buys, mindless eating, going out with friends who don't value you, answering a phone call to someone who's only going to talk about themselves, saying yes to a favour and then being resentful. These are things that you think will make you feel good but actually end up making you feel shitty about yourself and others. Try and identify those things in your life.

If there's not much left, that's fine. You'll soon fill the space with positive people and past times.

Thank you so much Kaiserin and winterisstillcoming. You're advice is really helpful and has given me a lot to think about.